<p>Just two little tips for when it all starts to drive us nuts. When it gets really bad, I softly sing my favorite Christmas carol to myself. Cooking Christmas dinner when I am so tired from staying up all night wrapping presents, catering to my father-in-law who hates Christmas but has to be the center of attention, I just softly sing to myself. It sounds silly, but it helps me get through. </p>
<p>The other one works for when you are standing in line, twelve people back, behind the woman who has to argue every price, just to buy another package of gift tags because you could of sworn you had TWO packages left from last year, but someone threw them out, because… I look around and try to remember that everyone there is putting up with this frustration and chaos because there is someone they love enough to put up with this crap. Then I try to guess who it is they are shopping for. It really can make me feel better, mostly because I start to remember that I really do love the people I am buying gift tags for.</p>
<p>sistersunnie, sending you a virtual hug. I sat with a patient last night whose husband died on Xmas day, and I was thinking of you. Another patient lost his job. I’m beginning to speculate that companies do this to avoid giving bonuses.</p>
<p>In my family, only give gifts to the little children. My cousin bought me the same gift that I bought her (OK-she’s not a kid, but my closest relative).</p>
<p>My kids are all on the “naughty list” this year. I’m just not motivated to give them gifts when they have rotten attitudes and can’t do the simplest chores without protest/backtalk. </p>
<p>Last night I found that no one had fed the pet. I told S#3 to go do it. And I told him again. And again. Finally, I said, “I declare, it’s gonna be a mighty skimpity Christmas if <em>I</em> have to go downstairs to feed the pet.” S’s reply? “You’re CRAZY!” </p>
<p>Seriously, that kid is getting nothing but coal and a pack of underwear. :(</p>
<p>Virtual hugs to sistersunnie & Aibarr (and H).</p>
<p>To extend the “Christmas by Mom” theme: yesterday I was in the mall around lunch time. I must have seen a dozen different men in suits walking toward the exit carrying one small jewelry store bag. That’s the extent of their shopping. They’ll probably get back to the office and complain about the hassle and the crowds. One guy also had a Godiva chocolate bag. Jewelry for the wife and chocolate for the secretary? Or the other way around?</p>
<p>Binx–I think it’s fine not to want to hand kids cash or fill an order, but I’m guessing if I told you my oldest likes Urban Outfitters, you’d be able to take it from there. My m-i-l, not so much. She asks for suggestions, then disregards them. </p>
<p>My college ds refuses to take suggestions or look at lists when shopping for his brothers–feeling that he certainly knows his own brothers well enough to know what they like. That’s kind of my point; that if we get to the point where all we’re doing is filling orders rather than actually exchanging gifts, then maybe the gift exchange has run its course.</p>
<p>“When it gets really bad, I softly sing my favorite Christmas carol to myself.”</p>
<p>Lololu,
Your post made me laugh because it reminded me of being in labor. When I was pregnant with my first child, I met a labor and delivery nurse who told me that she recommended her moms “hum” during contractions. I tried it when I was in labor and , like you at Christmas, it made me a tiny bit less miserable!</p>
<p>Atomom,
Underwear!!! Underwear is too good for those kids!!!:)</p>
<p>I was beginning to think I was Scrooge because I am NOT a big fan of Christmas. “Christmas by Mom” indeed - for Moms, Christmas is like having a second job. </p>
<p>My problem is that I put all the burden on myself. I do all the shopping, wrapping, decorating (forget baking, that’s why God invented bakeries), and if things don’t go well I feel like it’s all MY fault. I worry about Christmas morning, and if there’s not “enough” stuff to open, or if the kids don’t get something fun, then somehow everyone else is having a perfect Christmas and ours isn’t up to snuff and it’s MY fault. I know this is my own issue - my kids really aren’t that demanding - but it’s how I feel. </p>
<p>Last Christmas, mom was in the hospital dying of cancer. It was awful. We traveled 1000 miles to be with Mom and Dad, but she was so sick… my kids are old enough to understand, thank goodness (they were 16 and 19). This year I swore we were staying HOME and having an actual Christmas. So Dad is driving up to be with us. But I have been procrastinating big time, and giving myself panic attacks by doing so. I actually sat here and cried a week ago, because I just had NO idea what to buy for anyone. I realized that I usually bounced ideas off my Mom, and she’s not here. Plus D just got accepted to her ED college which is 700 miles away, a reality that is just starting to sink in, and S is going to Europe for a semester and I’m trying not to freak out about the fact that he’ll be in a foreign country and doesn’t know a single other person in his program. BUT… I took a deep breath, and God gave me a couple of ideas of things to buy, and it just finally got rolling. We will get through this Christmas and hopefully enjoy it in the process.</p>
<p>I love hearing about everyone else’s quirky families. I have a SIL who is a shopaholic, but really only thinks about herself. When S was 14 she sent him a children’s cookbook and a calculator for Christmas. Just what every 14 year old boy dreams of, haha. She shops all year long, then just distributes out what she has. We finally went to a pull-a-name-out-of-a-hat system for DH’s family, it makes life SO much easier. But trying to pick a day when we can all gather to exchange the gifts? Forget it. This year they’re all doing it at Christmas. We aren’t traveling 200 miles to join them. We’ll get our gifts whenever, it doesn’t bother us!</p>
<p>SisterSunnie and Aibarr, sending you both hugs.</p>
<p>My sympathies to those who are having difficult times right now – let’s hope the new year brings good cheer to all. And thanks to everyone who shared good ideas and funny stories – I do feel better already!</p>
<p>aibarr, you and your husband are very blessed in that that you love each other and are in each other’s corner. Jobs are replaceable. With all the money Tiger Woods and his (soon-to-be-ex) wife have, how happy do you think they are this holiday season? Nonetheless, I am sorry this happened, and I am praying that your husband finds a new, less-stressful job soon.</p>
<p>We are dumping the extended family gift exchange this year for a White Elephant gift exchange. The rules: 1) It has to be something you already own and want to get rid of (Nothing can be purchased.); and 2) It has to be gift-wrappable – which rules out spouses, kids, pets, and junk vehicles. I’ll let you know how it turns out.</p>
<p>This is my favorite piece of dialogue from The Office season 2 Christmas episode:</p>
<p>Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say “Hey man, I love you this many dollars-worth”.So Phyllis is basically saying “Hey Michael, I know you did a lot to help the office this year, but I only care about you a homemade oven mitt’s-worth” Michael Scott</p>
<p>^^^
That throws a whole new light on the desk top bowling game that I was “re-gifted” from a relative a few years ago. And at the time i didn’t even have a desk.</p>
<p>Last Christmas went by in a white blur for us. We had two feet of snow in just a couple of days and we could not go out except on foot. We missed Christmas Eve church and could not go get my then 94-year-old FIL for Christmas dinner. But then, there wasn’t a dinner, b/c we had no power for most of the day. That was the first year my D wasn’t home for Christmas but it was just as well, since there really wasn’t much celebration as such. Beautiful to see the snow though, and certainly a Christmas I won’t forget!</p>
<p>This year my D is coming home for two weeks from her first year in med school. She is just exhausted and I am looking forward to helping her rest. She called while I was decorating the tree, and said with this sweet little voice, “Oh, will there be a Christmas tree?” (Two years ago we only had a small tabletop tree.) </p>
<p>Yes, Virginia, there will be a big Christmas tree, and another tiny one in bright colors on your dresser just for you.</p>
<p>I feel sorry for some of these unlucky gift recipients in the article. I would definitely NOT be happy about a gift of plastic surgery. I already (sort of) know what H is going to give me. A very nice gift, but it is too expensive. This will be the first year I will have to take H’s gift back to the store (luckily, we now have one in our state!)</p>
<p>My husband, bless his heart, tries so hard. We’ll be walking in the mall, though, and I’ll see a display of, oh, I don’t know, Coach purses. I’ll make an off-handed comment, like, “Y’know, I told myself in grad school that when I got my first job, I’d buy myself a really nice handbag, and I never got around to it.”</p>
<p>“Really?” he’ll say, poorly feigning disinterest and giving me a sideways glance. Casually, he’ll follow up with, “And if you were to get a purse, would it be a Coach purse?” I’ve already caught on at this point. “Probably,” I respond, “but I would want to pick it out.”</p>
<p>Twenty minutes later, we’ll be strolling along in a completely different part of the mall, and he’ll sing, sotto voce, “I know what you’re getting for your birthhhh-daaaay…”</p>
<p>(I always have to try very hard not to sing back, “Gee, so do I!”)</p>
<p>I ordered my gift yesterday, addressed to DH, on his CC, delivered at my parent’s home, and he will have DDs wrap. All the 3rd parties will think it is a surprise, and really the impetus to get something was all his, but he knows i am exceedingly picky, with all these years of tuition we cannot afford to waste anything, and I really don’t care if I don’t get anything. So, we agreed it is better to have him let me choose it and then the ‘surprise’ factor is the others who think they are part of the secret ;)</p>
