^^Berklee! Oops, by Bay Area roots are showing - I always have to tell Californians it’s “the other Berkeley.” Here’s the link to the BoCo thread: http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/boston-conservatory-mt/2123911-boston-conservatory-mt.html#latest
Thank you @CaMom13!
Does anyone know if it is truly possible to find out where a student is on a MT wait list? I do not want to “bug” a department, but as we are looking at making travel plans over spring break…I need to figure out if there is a shot in the dark at one school in particular…or if there is truly no hope. We can’t wait…and I have been told that you can call and they should be able to tell you where the student is on the list. Any experience with this out there? Does it “depend” on the school or are there typical processes?
You have every right to ask them how their waitlist is set up. There is a way to phrase it that is not annoying . I think you can ask directly ,
Email: sons name in subject line
Good Morning Fred. . Son is currently on your waitlist. what do you think it the realistic possibility of him coming off the waitlist this year? We would like to arrange a visit if you felt it might make sense to do so.
Thanking you in advance for your honest assessment of his position and for a great audition experience for us this year .
You need info. They may have that info. Worth asking at this point.
My .02!
@luvbloominroses what @jbrown says is correct. I would add that according to the advice we received, it is best to have the kid send the email, not you. Good luck to you both!
Although this isn’t specifically MT related, it is a venting thread so here goes. I totally get the colleges wanting students to become adults and this is my third rodeo, so colleges wanting students to contact them, as opposed to parents contacting them, isn’t a new concept for me. What frustrates me in this process (and throughout undergrad) is that they don’t want to hear from us, yet colleges clearly understand that undergrads can’t afford college and parents are legally on the hook to pay for it. I’m sure that 99% of our kids aren’t paying those audition fees so they’re happy to take our parent money to make this process work, yet not happy to get an email from us to ask where in the process our kids are when several of the colleges have disorganized, noncommunicative ‘systems.’
My son applied to BW too late to get an audition spot but every single week, we got an email telling us that we were still on the waiting list and a list of things we could do, from apply to other programs in the school to getting our audition fee back. Although he never made it off the list, BW is one of my favorite schools in this process because they’re upfront and they let him know where he stood. Also, I’m guessing that it cuts down on their own workload headaches of having to respond to calls and emails throughout the day.
Ooh, here’s another option. Maybe we could work on learning our teens’ speech patterns (lots of exclamation points?) and just sign their names and send the emails ourselves? ?
@lovetoact I can neither confirm nor deny that a couple of the emails my D has sent were typed from my keyboard… X_X
The email @jbrown drafted is perfect, but I would have it come from your son. It gives him more interaction with the person making the decision — maybe a little reminder just how much he/she likes him. ?
A different perspective.
Starting sophomore year, I had my daughter lead the communication journey with colleges. I proofed her emails, but she emailed admissions advisors, and for MT, artistic advisors. The one exception to all this was towards the end of the journey. She had gotten dejected with the rejections and asked me to check her portal for her for a few schools. So, I would do this once a day when I knew the deadlines got closer (thanks CC for the notification list!).
So, now for my story…Last spring, we were heading to visit a school and my daughter got an email from the Dean of Admissions. She had a conflict from the school when scheduling her day on campus, and she wanted to make sure she understood what her day on campus entailed. She emailed the Dean and he straightened it out for her. But, he requested a personal interview before her day started. She replied that she’d love to meet him. She scrambled to prep for the interview and we arrived at 8am to meet the Dean.
I was invited to the interview and she led a nice discussion. She asked him why he wanted to meet her and he responded that it was rare for a high school student to take initiative when there was a conflict. Mostly he heard from parents and he was impressed that she wanted to solve the conflict for herself. My daughter applied to this school and got a nice scholarship, which I think in part, was because of her early initiative.
There are always many ways to approach a problem, but for us, having my kiddo take initiative to communicate was appreciated. And it gave my daughter a sense of independence and leadership that she could handle conflict along the way…but from the perspective of the people in charge, we learned that having the kid initiate the conversation demonstrated maturity and initiative and was greatly appreciated…
@artandtechmom that is so important for these kids. Luck is for people who put themselves in the position to succeed in the first place. I think that is the biggest gift we can give to our kids.
When my kids applied to college, all correspondence with the college was done by them, not me. The only time I was directly in contact was calling a school secretary when arranging campus visits to reserve a spot in information sessions and campus tours. That is really a secretarial thing and not of substance and is not with any college administrator or faculty member. My kids did all the direct contact with people at the college. In my view, they are the ones applying. This is college, not high school. Once my kids were in college, I had no direct contact with anyone at their colleges. My kids might have asked for advice, but they were the ones directly involved. I encourage other parents not to be the ones contacting the school…including the waitlist inquiry. It is the student who is the applicant. Parents need to shift their role that they had in the K-12 educational process as the student needs to hold the reins from here on out.
@lovetoact It’s not that colleges want students to be adults (although, yes, of course that is part of the education) - it’s that legally they are adults. And I agree that they need to be in the driver’s seat because this is their journey. Having said that, there are times when I’ve called or emailed to inquire about things (regarding administrative details usually) and people I’ve talked to have been very helpful. My college kids are both at small schools, and I know that makes a difference, too. Yes, they are adults, but we’re also a family - sometimes we help each other out, and I think that’s ok!
@soozievt I have been on CC for a while but I did not know your D’s story. I am so happy she is well today and thriving. You have always given such sound advice and the information you give about NYU/Tisch was so helpful to me since that is where my D also ended up going and graduating from in 2017. Thank you for sharing and sticking around on CC to continue to provide support and to guide the next generation!
@lovetoact While I did let my D handle almost everything, a great deal had to be guided by someone with greater maturity. Simply put, they are still kids. Now that she’s in college, she handles everything, however, I absolutely will not hesitate to call the school directly on financial matters…
Totally agree that the parents are still guiding their teen! That is different than the student being the one to contact school personnel directly. The parent can guide them with the steps, if needed.
Agree that financial matters with the financial aid office can be handed by the parents as the parents is the one dealing with the financial payments.
Just wanted to say that I genuinely wish everyone the best of luck :)! As we get closer to admission decisions coming out, it’s definitely getting more stressful. I have a bunch of important ones coming out soon and at this point, I don’t even want to know whether I’m getting in or not! Hoping for the best but prepared for the worst. Anyone else feeling the stress now even more? Good luck to everyone!! We’re almost done!
@librarygirl8 well, yes when they’re in college they’re technically adults but if the view is that they’re actually adults, then don’t make their parents financially responsible for their tuition. I get that it doesn’t work for the colleges to do that (every kid would qualify for fully-aided financial aid). My oldest is 24 and middle is 21 and yes, once in college they started to take care of everything on their own (with advice only when they wanted some), but my current HS senior is 17 and since he’s not an actual adult, that justification doesn’t really fit.
And again, I totally get it, but this thread is a venting thread and I was really just venting.
I get what you’re saying @lovetoact - it’s only slightly ironic that the colleges don’t want anything to do with parents… unless it comes to paying bills. I hope all of us recognize the importance of the students advocating for themselves and they are the ones attending college so they need to take ownership of the work there to be done. but it is cynically amusing that all of that emphasis on a college student’s “independance” comes with a built-in assumption from the schools that their parents are responsible to pay.
Hey @purplecattt Good luck to you!! Mostly a bunch of obsessive old parents on here, lol. But you and our kids are actually the ones who have worked hard for years and have so much at stake. I hope you find that place that is just right for you!!!
@“boola boola” haha ? thank you so much!