<p>Okay, time for a new game. One person writes a sentence, and the next person continues with a sentence of their own, and hopefully it turns into a cool/funny story.</p>
<p>(Technically you’re supposed to write your sentence ONLY having seen the most recent one, so ONLY read the last post before adding to the story).</p>
<p>One day, in the magical land of The Dartmouth CC Board, a mysterious stranger appeared, sounding oddly familiar to the regular posters.</p>
<p>The mysterious stranger attempted to sound funny but came off as awkward and confusing.</p>
<p>With post after post, the CC people decried his inherent akwardness with the fury of a hurricane, the anger of a bull, and the fire of a nova,</p>
<p>Suddenly, they were interrupted by a faint cry in the distance.</p>
<p>It sounded a little like a drowning cat trying to give birth to twin giraffes, only none of them knew what that sounded like.</p>
<p>Well, except for Nancy, who had been kidnapped the previous year while on a Safari in Botswana, where she did hear that oh-so-unique sound.</p>
<p>Nancy was actually an exception in many cases; she had only lived to tell the tale because she managed to singlehandedly dismember all ten of her captors, and ran away as they yelled after her to come back and fight, as it was “only a flesh wound”!</p>
<p>“Tell us,” everyone breathed, “How did you dismember your captors, Nancy?”</p>
<p>“Well, I dismembered them by using my powerful jaws and sharp toenails” Nancy recalled.</p>
<p>The small crowd looked at her with a combination of apprehension and wonderment, until one daring lad stepped forward and said, “Ma’am, I would be honored if you would teach me to wield my jaws and toenails like you do.”</p>
<p>obviously ticked, she walked straight up to the young child of probably no more than seven, and laid the biggest smack-down ever seen this side of the mississippi.</p>
<p>The boy lay on the ground stunned with disbelief due to the heavy-handed blow he had just recieved. At that moment, the boy realized that he had relieved himself during his trip to the ground</p>
<p>The boy, both embarassed and a little excited, pulled his sponge bob boxers over his head and attempted to hide himself from the others.</p>
<p>As the boy was hiding in shame Nancy realised something terrible had happened to her - her toenails, her beloved toenails were crushed by the force of her own fist. How ironic that she destroyed her own mighty weapon.</p>
<p>And so, with blood spurting grotesquely out of her toes, she sat around wailing for precisely eight seconds, until she realized that she really wanted a hamburger, something she needed to attend to AT ONCE.</p>
<p>(btw, this is great. I was laughing out loud as I read some of these haha)</p>
<p>Nancy, recalling the bytchin’ cash she spent to have those two-starred US flags painted on her toenails, squished her char-broiled hamburger into her fist and screamed a pyssin, “these colors don’t run, damit” and embarked on her plan to invade some random, non-American, country; well, it wasn’t really random or non-American, it was just the only one she could get to in a '87 hand-painted chartreuse Dodge Caravan on half a tank of gashaving procured the exact change for the border toll, she was off to take down the secessionist 51st State of Canada and their diabolic and ill-named currencythe Looney.</p>
<p>At the border, with Toby Keith’s ‘Courtesy of the Red White and Blue’ blasting its chorus of “We’ll put a boot in your ass it’s the American way” from the custom subwoofers she had installed in the back of the Caravan, the friendly customs officer asked if she was 'bringing in any weapons, including mace or pepper spray, ma’am", and Nancy had to pause for a second and consider how to respond.</p>
<p>After a moment of deep thought Nancy promptly answered the friendly customs officer, saying “Who needs weapons or pepper spray when all I need is my face to keep people away?”. The customs officer, both surprised and horrified, responded by mumbling “DAMN, you are ugly!”. This terrible insult sent Nancy into a rage that was fueled by her furious anger…</p>
<p>And everyone was warned to “keep their hand at the level of their eyes” since Nancy was quite fond of strangulation… and if you did that, you would be protected from being strangled.</p>
<p>(note- anyone remember this from Phantom of the Opera- the movie?)</p>
<p>But one little boy…he did not listen, did not realize that the impenetrable defense against strangulation would become a matter of life and death - thus, his eyesight was not shielded, and as he laid eyes upon Nancy’s horribly disfigured face, he became so distracted that he did not notice Nancy’s advance: in the last moment before contact, he wondered to himself how the world had ever permitted Nancy to continue acting as enraged as the AP Bio kids the day they get a test back, and decided to put a stop to her once and for all. His name, my children, was…!!! TO BE CONTINUED BY TPBM</p>
<p>(hahaha Cali, I DID notice that in the movie!)</p>