I just felt like i had only 2 hands—one to hold onto each kiddo, especially when we were out and about. My kids were fairly easy, but I do admire those who can handle more little ones simultaneously. I was very happy with 2.
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SIL is traveling to London for work the first week of December. I am going to a conference Mon and Tuesday of that week. D1 is having D2 to come over to help out on Mon and Tue, and I will be working remotely from D1’s home Wed - Fri. D1’s schedule is very unpredictable, so she always needs another adult who is available when the nanny isn’t around. She is lucky that she has her sister and me around to pitch in.
@SOSConcern - your daughter’s life is full. I assume when she is a SAHM then the kids won’t be going to daycare any more. She is not going to have much time to do a lot of errands. I used to enjoy going to work because I could at least have some time for lunch - remembering days when I didn’t even have time to take a shower.
D1 is very lucky she has you! Does SIL know where his Army assignment will be after training? What if it’s not near you?
How far away are they now? Also, is SIL an officer? Seems like it would be tough for D1 to swing being a SAHM if he isn’t an officer. How long is his commitment?
That’s a lot of help for one child.
I am a single mother. My mother still worked when my kids were small but sometimes my brother helped out. Otherwise, it was me and daycare. We made due. One time I was sick and my mother brought me saltines and laundry detergent, but other than that we lived out of the pantry if I couldn’t get to the store.
There wasn’t much grocery delivery in those days but we had the milkman twice a week. He brought milk but many other things too, like eggs, bread, cheese, cookie dough. Now the milkman brings almost anything you want! I think they were even delivering TP during the pandemic.
My mother had 5 kids before she was 27. If we had to go into the city (pretty rare), we had harnesses which people think are horrible but worked for her. Two hands, 5 kids? Harnesses worked. My brothers were terrors, and they rarely got to go anywhere.
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D1 travels a lot for work and often has last minute drinks/dinner with clients. She leaves for work at 7 and the nanny comes 8-6:30. Yes, it takes a village to raise that little kid.
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Omigosh @twoinanddone , much sympathies! I wasn’t a single mom, but my H started med school and then residency when D was 10 months old. S born during his third year. His hours were ridiculous and when he was home he was asleep, basically. I either had to take kids to the laundromat with me, or hope I could get them to bed with enough time to get it done before closing, because i couldn’t count on him to be awake enough to do bedtime. They always came grocery shopping with me. I got good at piling the groceries around them in the cart. I taught very part-time. Babysitting was always an issue. I did have mom or MIL come a couple of times when I had last minute cancellations, but they worked, too and lived an hour away. More likely, I brought the kids with me to class.
I see my D and her H struggling with all the same issues, and that’s one reason I decided to “retire” and be the back-up, and part-time sitter for them.
I think we all have had and still have different experiences. I wish it was easier ( universal daycare for a start) for all of us and our kids.
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I wish we lived closer so we could help in a pinch. Fortunately, both older s (with 2 kids) and younger s (with 1) have relatives nearby (or close enough if in a pinch- an hour away). We had no family in our city or nearby. None.
Meantime, 5 yo gd went out in her pjs recently and taught herself to skateboard!! At least she put on a helmet and closed toes shoes over her footie pjs.
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SIL was an officer in the past (ROTC, then FT Army Reserves and Regular Army Reserves). His original commitment was complete. He went enlisted to get the cyber security training. Hoping he gets selected for more training after the 6 months. He has a 3 year commitment with enlisted - so the housing allowance (and savings) is the only way to get through his time with very low pay. No, he has only an idea (from people he knows further along in cyber security) where he might go. The worst will be MD because we know the housing allowance will fall way short. He is ‘ahead’ of his class peers because of his Army history and maturity (class is enlisted and everyone else is 18 - 21), and is middle of the group on fitness (at age 32). He also has a Top Secret security clearance, which is vital for some great opportunities with government contractors or working civil service government.
The best things will be if he does have further training - for him to continue to advance with his skill set. Then DD will see she can best take advantage of her maternity leave/pay, and then we make it through the 12 weeks that she needs to work after that. That further training is not far by car, and he has weekends and holidays off.
DD1 will be SAHM with no children in daycare when that time comes. My hope is she will take advantage of public schooling for the older one/two when the time comes.
SIL had no desire to get into a career job in DD1’s city, which is a heavy central banking place - instead it was all ‘future’ stuff and low paying M - F job. He had to get waivers and up the chain of command for getting into this. I cannot tell you all the other failed government things he pursued - a lot.
So now he is going to have to work really hard on continuing all his credentials and education outside of Army and later job.
We live in a city where down the road they may end up at. It would be a great place for them, as they could be in our home and we can be elsewhere.
So many unknowns, but we do know DD1/SIL will be having a 4th child and a lot of moving and tight finances ahead.
We are committed to family. We have stability and DD2 has stability.
That is absolutely awesome!!
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Now she needs the knee and elbow pads, and the hand protectors. Great job in athletic skill set.
She has them! They are just still packed somewhere ( they moved a few months ago) and they haven’t found them yet.
@mom60, did your daughter start the sleep training with your GD? How is it going?
I am not a grandparent yet, but I need to buy a present for a 9 month old boy for Christmas. I don’t want to spend a lot $25 - 40 would be great. Suggestions?
That’s a tough one! Do you know the parents well? They might have some ideas of what is OK and what is a no go. For example, once our gift of a Brio train set was rejected because… plastic. Only wood, cotton, or metal would do.
Because the baby is still small and has no concept of fun gifts, I would go with something that would be a safe bet and always needed regardless of how many handmedowns or otter gifts he gets. I vote for a set of cute non-skid socks. The kid will be up and walking soon, so those will be handy.
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My grandkids and their parents LOVE Little Sleepies pajamas. They are super comfortable (bamboo) with lots of fun prints. The Zippys last a long time. Bamboo Viscose Zip Romper Pajamas | Little Sleepies
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This was a big hit with both parents and the GD.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01MA408NQ/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
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I always give books. There are so many wonderful books for kids that I always choose some for their library.
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I would get a sweater probably (12-18 mo). There are lots of options. I bought several of these colorful sweaters for my GD.
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My 8 month old grandson loves this toy.
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