Saturday, when cousin/kids and DD1 and her two (almost 5 and almost 4) went to the indoor salt water pool at the hotel, I sent DH while I napped with 20 month old. We all later had lunch together. Our two DDs had naps at Daycare and Montessori, but I don’t recall having naps on weekends - other than if we traveled and the kids fell asleep in the car. However Gkids have a long day and need a long nap in most cases. When oldest lays down and just rests, she then will ‘catch up’ on sleep other times. She slept almost as much as the 20 month old on our drive back.
Both grandsons have eczema over some small areas, with older grandson having had it worse as younger and seems to be clearing up with age.
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My relative is a dermatologist and has left us try lots of different sample creams and lotions for eczema (D and H have it).
They like Aveeno, cetaphil, and several others. D has to be careful because she can get rashes from some, so she tries to stick with brands she know she doesn’t react to.
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Man, I didn’t think anyone still spanked. I did and wish I had not. One day it dawned on me that it was abuse! Assault. I was assaulting my own kids, no matter how gently I tried to make it. Bad modeling. Bad, bad. I regret it. As you can tell. I was spanked. My kids don’t spank, thank goodness. That said, their kids are pretty spoiled. LOL. What can ya’ do?
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I feel the same way. I’m embarrassed I did. Not enough, but shouldn’t have. D and SIL do not, and I have to say, her kids are very well behaved.
DD1 did spank her almost 4 YO yesterday - I didn’t witness as she went to a private area in the house while I was outside with the other two kids at my home, but he wanted me to spank him instead of his mom (I guess he thought I would be a very light tap, tap) - he was told three times on our fairly long car ride not to pull his almost 5 YO sister’s hair – his car seat is right next to hers in 3rd row seating) – and he had two warnings to stop his bad actions. His mom told him that she would spank him when we got to our home, and explained that he did not pay attention to the 3 times he was told to stop. I do not think a spanking happens very often in their household - and it is more about being punished for being naughty than any actual sting other than the momentary. Once he bit his baby brother (and this was a while ago, and baby brother is only 20 months old now) and he did get immediately spanked for that and very heavy scolding as one must do in those kind of situations.
I was observer and primary interactor with keeping 20 month old doing well in 2nd row with me (he was very easy with attention from me in between sleeping and eating/drinking) and watching the behavior with the two in the 3rd row seating. DD had to speak very firmly to both GD4, and GS3 on the car ride - they thought it was fun/amusing to unlatch the top button of their car seats (the bottom button can be undone by GD4 but not by GS3) - and DD asked them (she was passenger in front row) if they enjoyed walking – and she said that if they did not have that top car seat properly latched that an accident could mean they never could walk again. And they understood that. I suspect she has had that interaction with them before. There was a driver in the lane to the left of us that was not holding the lane and almost hit our vehicle (and about 5 minutes later caused a 3 car collision that we thankfully were not involved with) - and things can happen just like that.
We had used the corner (time out) on almost all circumstances when DDs were old enough for consequences, with me (primarily and FT caregiver) doing some spanking - again it was with momentary sting but nothing more, but then DH said they were too old to spank and we stopped. I don’t really know a cut off, other than maybe K/1st grade - honestly it is really almost a last option with some of their judgement developing.
One can often raise a child w/o spanking and they are fine; one can spank appropriately and they are fine. But it certainly is, in most cases, with caring and educated parents, not being overused or any way in a child abuse manner. Kids have different personalities as do the parents, and some kids test limits more than other kids. One can raise a voice and berate a child in an abusive type of way (and never spank) which can be very harmful to a child. One has to always think about corrective things versus any parental anger or frustration in the moment.
A 4 year old does not know danger - and safety is a big deal – and sometimes parents don’t realize the child does not understand danger. That is why there are some young kid drownings – highly educated people may not even realize that drowning is a leading or the leading cause of deaths with some young ages. A few years ago a 4 YO drown in a pool at a vacation house - the multi-family groups with maybe 4 or 5 MD Anesthesiologists; the mom had specifically talked with her son about the danger of the pool and they only go in with swim suit and parents there; the boy was next to his mom and then he was not – and when she noticed he was not right there, and with all these people around the pool and the balcony overlooking the pool no one saw the boy slip into the pool – they were able to revive him, but he died en-route via med flight to the hospital.
I had to talk to a neighbor who really thought our street could be part of a play area for his young children (they even had a ‘slow children at play’ green sign they put in the middle of the street!) - and they said they had cameras and were watching them from inside. I told them as soon as they saw something dangerous - by the time they got outside their kid would be hit by a car (or maybe snatched and a car speeding away). I do think the dad thought a bit about that because they no longer put the sign out and the kids kept out of the street much better.
I think more of safety than bad behavior in many cases. Use of rewards for good behaviors and good choices. Watching that it is all about the child learning and keeping in check any parental frustration or anger. Even in social situations, sure one wants a well behaved child, but when a child is overstimulated, hasn’t had a nap or enough sleep - there are going to be behaviors that one just has one remove the child from the situation or the stimulation and help them get their mind and body quieted down.
I cannot walk by this thread (and maybe it deserves its own heated thread) without saying that I don’t know how we can ever expect to find it acceptable to spank - to any degree - a child, but to admonish any striking of another child or adult - or animal.
If you have to spank that is a reflection of a parenting choice. It tells me that you apparently have no other parenting skills you are willing to use or take the time to try.
Sorry, not directed towards anyone person. IMO, if you have to think about spanking , it’s time for more tools in your parenting toolbox.
Hope this thread is always WAY more positive than negative but I think it’s important food for thought!
Editing to say, not looking for a debate or comments at all! Maybe just wanted to voice this for any others who might be thinking similarly.
Carry on GP’s!!!
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As a grandparent, I may talk a bit sternly or lock eyes in a significant way for a safety issue with a G-kid, but I do not spank G-kids. Grandpa doesn’t spank G-kids. I doubt that the other grandparents would ever spank the G-kids. Have not discussed if their two sons were ever spanked, or what is their family history of spanking.
I was first generation US (parents from Switzerland, and both immigrated as single and met in our Swiss community in WI). My mom saved all the spanking for dad, and for when he got home, and it may have resulted in a spanking - and he didn’t have to spank me often (I remember if ‘all’ the kids got into trouble in some way) - but I learned from my younger sister to cry hard and early and got off easier. My mom’s father had a big and ‘to business’ voice (he was a big fish in a small pond as a successful businessman). One weekend he babysat us, and I was terrified, but he ran around with us with a fly swatter as part of a spanking game - and I learned he had a big bark but no bite.
I think the use of spanking has greatly diminished. I believe most have beliefs that it has no place in child rearing. Some use it very infrequently, and when the parent believes it is appropriate to do for the situation. I believe it has no place with an older child because they understand more and there are other parental skills to choose based on the situation.
A thread on this topic would be an excellent idea.
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Are you suggesting that immigrant parents are more likely to spank their children???
Feel free! This is not a thread I desire to start. 
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Love how the grandkids are so honest about most things. 2 1/2 yo twins were out of sight in another room. I heard Twin A yell in frustration/upset, so I called out “B, what are doing?” Her reply, “Bugging my sister.”
Specifically, she was poking her sister in the back while A was trying to look thought the books we’d just gotten from the library.
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Newest grandchild was born on Sunday. We got to meet him yesterday and it was love at first sight!
I’m sure any thread about parenting discipline styles would soon be shut down. I can count on less than one hand the number of times I might have spanked my kids. They were light spanks but I’d say in all cases it was me being at the end of my rope. It wasn’t our parenting style.
My Mom spanked us but it was more the wooden spoon or hairbrush with us kids running away through the house. We would be laughing and my Mom fuming. I bet many of us grew up with the principal having a paddle in the school office.
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I have two children. I spanked one of them once. He started running away from me in a busy parking lot, and I just grabbed him and swatted him. He cried that it felt “like needles.” I thought that was a great description. I apologized to him but explained the seriousness of what he had done.
I’m not proud.
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Congratulations!! 
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I prefer to keep this thread a happy grandparent thread. This is one of my favorite threads.
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Our almost two month old granddaughter learned how to smile. Not that type of smile while sleeping, but real smile in response to something. She also trying to make sounds back when I talk to her. I only see her weekly and every time I see some different skills
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Congratulations @mom60 !
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My parents were born in 1931 and 1933. My dad’s father was strict to the point of being cruel and abusive in specific instances - my dad was a smart man and did observe things/pick up changes in eras – with the grandchildren (when he was late 50’s/early 60’s) he would say “it is too cold” (on some cold Wisconsin mornings) for them to walk even a block to school – he was of course working when we attended school but that was never a concern of mom’s – she just had us bundled up appropriately.
My parents when in school were not allowed to use their left hand for writing/printing. I am left handed, but do much with my right hand - my mom would not allow me to use my left hand with scissors etc. at home (I was born in 1956). My script and printing is excellent with my left hand, and having a number of years with piano I still do a lot with my right hand. Mom was not happy they allowed that, but since she had difficulty learning English she was in no position to “fuss”. My first language was SchweitzerDeutsch. My older sister (born in 1953) could not speak English going to kindergarten, and had to come back the next year when she could. My older brother is 13 months older than me, and we both were good with English going to school.
Another thing is my mother was raised in her grandparents’ home with her dad also there (her parents were divorced early in marriage, her mom had mental illness w/o the meds developed back then). So my mom really had ingrained ‘old ways’.
DD1 resisted using her right hand more (she also is left handed) but she also had years with playing the piano, and has proudly stated to me “I can even very effectively start IVs with my right hand”. It seems this daughter’s younger son is left handed - at 20 months, that is the hand he is using with crayons.