I was 24 and 27 when I had mine. My D was 36 and 39. I am so much less spry this time around! But, I have a reputation as an active, young-at-heart grandma, even with excess weight and a lot of gray hair. I think it’s more attitude than looks, even though some of us allow our hair to “go gray.” 
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Both my H and I are very active with GD. But it’s definitely harder than it was when I was young. We watched GD 2-3 times a week for almost two years, and while it was great, we were tired at the end of the day. She’s almost 3 now, and we are down to one day a week (occasionally 2). My body appreciates being put through the wringer less often.
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GD went for an interview at a well known pre school (pre k to 12). GD is not three yet…They asked GD to play by herself while they interviewed the parents and she would need to stop playing when they rang a bell, which GD did. Later they asked GD to identify pictures on the flash cards. They then asked GD what things in the pictures could fly. GD said airplane and butterfly. They asked her what did Turtle do. She said turtle swam in the water. They asked her to identify shapes and alphabet. They started to write something and asked GD what they were writing. GD said it was her name. They asked GD to take things out of a jar. Her hand got stuck while trying to get stuff out, so she turned the jar upside down.
I was surprised how intense the interview was for a toddler under 3 (i went through various tastings and interviews when my girls were little). D1 said she is not so sure if she and her husband did as well.
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That whole preschool rigamarole is why DH and I moved from NYC when S1 was 2 1/2. I didn’t want to go through that. (Not to mention the cost!)
Of course, when I signed S1 up for preschool in the suburbs, I was surprised that they let just anyone in!!
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If you have any of these pouches, do not let anyone eat them!
https://www.cnn.com/2023/10/29/us/fda-wanabana-fruit-recall-lead/index.html
There is some really high percentage (at least much higher than it used to be) of grandparents raising their grandchildren because of the parents being unable to raise them (drugs, prison, death of one or both). There are support groups and classes on how to get benefits for the kids, government services, etc.
My daughters had a classmate who started living with her grandparents in about 2nd grade and then was adopted when she was in 3rd grade because her father was in jail and her mother on drugs.
Well, taking care of one 8 year old was not that hard. Grandfather was about 70, but grandmother (step-grandmother) was about 55 or 60. All is fine. Then mother had another baby! The grandparents took him. Then there was a BIG court battle over him and the grandparents lost. Then mother kept leaving him with grandparents, wouldn’t pick him up as agreed, etc. Grandmother finally said ‘you won, he’s yours.’
Within a week mother signed over custody. Now grandparents aged 70+ and 60+ had to deal with a special needs toddler. I saw the grandmother in Costco one day and she looked like she’d ages 20 years. Luckily, they were wealthy and could afford a lot of help.
I have neighbors who had twins when mom was in her early 50s and dad was over 70. Kids are about 20 now. Both doing well in college. Mom and dad both still alive. Dad looks his age and has mobility issues but is all there mentally. Mom looks young for her age.
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My best friend’s mom was 42 and her dad was 50 when she was born. Her siblings were 16+ years older than her, and she was same age as her nephew. A few siblings felt she was ‘spoiled’, but she was not. She had one close, supportive sister. Went to community college for accounting – all A’s (instead of getting married right out of HS as almost all her siblings, or pg in or right after HS as at least one sister), had a job, got married and spouse and she put themselves through the rest of college. Since her dad was 65 and collecting SS, and she was under 18, parents also got money for the dependent, that they put towards her Community College. At least one sister was very resentful, even though their mother would babysit her kids for free.
I would say “hold the mirror up and see who you are really mad at for your life choices”.
When friend was over 30 (and her dad was 80+), her parents traveled to spend time with her (from far away state). Mom was doing pretty well, while dad was every bit of his 80+ years. When I did see her one close sister, it was a definite look alike for my friend, in appearance and gestures.
I applaud people taking care of the unexpected babies and grandbabies. Sometimes the circumstances can be very tough and troubling. Babies are the innocent, and need someone with love and giving.
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I took the grands to a local park on Saturday morning. (Mom had worked a 10 hour overnight shift at the hospital and was sleeping. I wanted to get the kids out of the house so they wouldn’t try to wake her up.) While the twins were running around playing on the equipment, I picked up the 13 month old and tried to sit on what looked like a low, wide swing. It wasn’t a swing and was super unstable. I sat down and… fell off straight back onto the ground. Whump! I wasn’t hurt by the fall, but GS’s head clocked me good on the left cheek as he fell on top of me. Cheek hurt like heck and by 4pm was swollen and starting to turn black & blue. Bruising is even more spectacular today and my face hurts from the outer corner of my eye, to the bridge of my nose and down to my jaw. Even my upper molars ache on that side. Ouch.
I look like I’ve been in one heck of a fist fight.
Fortunately, nothing is broken. and there’s no damage to my teeth.
Who knew that holding a baby could be so dangerous?
(BTW, GS is fine. the fall scared him, but he wasn’t hurt. He landed on a nice, soft grandma.)
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It’s wonderful that people are able to step up and provide care for children and grandchildren, even though they may behaving their own infirmities. I was 30 and H was 45 when we had our 1st kid and 2nd one was 2 years later. We were able to do most of the things we wanted to with both of them, and while we were very old compared to the Lamaze class parents, we were similar ages to our sibs and the parents of our kids’ preschool and later private school.
Yes, I’m sure we probably don’t have the conditioning and stamina of much younger adults, the little ones just know they are loved.
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My primary doc, about my age or a little older, is bringing up her grandson, who’s eleven now. Her D had drug issues and sadly passed away–doc had gotten custody prior to that. She’s since adopted him and he calls her mom. She’s long divorced, abusive guy I believe, and so she’s on her own with him, except for adult son, who I think lives with them. I am in awe of her, though she looks exhausted a lot of the time. Also, primary docs don’t make the kind of money we associate with doctors these days, and so she doesn’t have limitless funds like one would think. She recently gave up running a one woman practice and signed on to one of those huge groups. Still always seems tremendously over-worked.
On a different note, what are your GKs being for Halloween?
GD is obsessed with “Lionguard” so D made her and GS Kion and Bunga costumes out of sweatshirts, felt, and a very artistic eye.
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Not sure what GD will be this year. Guess We will find out tonight. GS wanted to be elmo ( I think) but pivoted and decided to wear his firetruck costume from last year. Younger GS probably too young for this, plus they live in an apt.
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Grandson (7) is Mario, granddaughter (3) is Elsa. I don’t know about the other two.
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GD is going to be a caterpillar. I am going over there at 4 so we can pass candies and go trick or treat.
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19month old is a tiger. I don’t think they will go out tonight. His dad and other grandma took him to a trunk or treat last Friday put on by the city. He loved it even though he doesn’t eat candy.
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GS (5) is a bat, with a purple iridescent underbelly, underwings and ears!
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Twin A is a Hammerhead shark. Twin B is a Great White shark (albeit a pink one). GS is a skeleton. (GS also has a shark costume but he hates hats and won’t wear the headpiece so we defaulted to just putting him in his Halloween PJs with the glow-in-the-dark skeleton printed on it.)
The family will participate in Halloween activities in the village about a mile from the house. Costume parade, trick or treating at local merchants and the city park, performance by the local dance school, etc.
Grandma will stay home to answer the door in case we get trick or treaters. (Last year we got one group of about 12 and that was it for the night.)
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My D and SIL will take the kids to a street in their town that is THE place to go. No one T and Ts in their neighborhood, so they don’t need someone to give out candy. There’s even a “book” house where each kid gets several books (I think the homeowner works in publishing and seems to have an endless supply.)
I’ll stay at my house in a nearby town, because the house up the street puts on one of those enormous, elaborate displays that draws hundreds of kids. I’m sure I’ll run out of candy, because you can only buy so much before going broke! But it’s fun!
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My granddaughter is going to be 3 at the end of December–she refuses to wear a costume, but she likes handing out candy to the kids who come by the house.
I live in a small town where there are no sidewalks and houses are far apart; as a result, the kids in town (and kids from other towns) go to the Town Common and streets leading to it. There are probably 40 or so houses there. People in town contribute candy and take it to the police station and then volunteers distribute the candy to the homes around the Common. I’m helping a friend who lives on the Common distribute candy. It’s a mad house from 5-7 pm.
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