Terrific suggestions
I draw most of my BD cards, so can easily add many others. sending videos is a lovely idea.
Glad I have this forum to vent.
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@bookworm, I am so sorry. I would absolutely talk to your S without saying anything negative about your DIL. I am guessing your S already knows how you are feeling.
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Twin B’s medal haul from today’s championship race. Pre-school/3-4 year old division:
First place championship race
First place race series
Participation medal.
Twin B had 4 first place finishes and one 3rd in the series. Even if she hadn’t finished in the top 3 runners today, she had enough points she would have been on the podium as the top preschool runner in the series.
Go Twin B!
Twin A also ran in all the races and received a participation medal.
Guess Dad is going to have to put a trophy shelf in the girls’ bedroom.
Twins hadn’t yet turned 3 1/2 when the race series started so they were running against some kids who were a full year older or more than they are.
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That is terrific!
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Terrific!
Time for the parents to consider running Kauai Half. There is a kiddie race where age groups try to outrun a guy dressed like a chicken. Lots of fun! I bet the twins will do great! The award is I think a certificate for an ice cream cone. 
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We. Have. Survived. And so did the grandkids.
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Mom and Dad are both runners. Half marathons and mountain runs mostly. They’ve taken all 3 kids on several fun runs in jogging strollers. Dad pushes the twins in a double stroller and Mom pushes GS in a single stroller.
I’ll mention the Kauai race to them. Sounds like fun!
I hope the ice cream is from Lapperts! Carmel Coconut Macadamia please.
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Could you make that cone a double please, and share with me?
Good for your D and SIL - I hope the kids keep up the running.
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That is so unfair. What would happen if you reached out to your son and planned a visit out there for a week or more (without the friend?)
D1 makes a point of sharing GD’s time with all grandparents, even though she feels more comfortable with me.
As an example, they were away this weekend from Friday to Monday, she had H’s parents take care of GD from Friday to Sunday and I came over from Sunday to Monday. I live close by, so it’s easier for me to just pop in. D1 has not asked her Dad and his wife to babysit. I am not sure if they never offered or D1 is not comfortable.
I go on vacations with D1’s family often because I am flexible with time and I am a good babysitter.
I will add that when I came over on Sunday, D1’s in laws had their bags packed and were ready to go.
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Friend of my DH has similar problem with their DIL. His son has four children and grandparents didn’t get to see some of them. That’s very sad and we should teach our kids how to be respectful to their in-laws.
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People shouldn’t use kids as weapons to punish each other. When my kids were little I used to get into some fights with my parents, but I never not allowed my parents to see the kids. (I just wouldn’t speak with them when I dropped kids off)
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We live about 10 minutes away from D,SIL and GD (the only grandchild on either side) so we see them often. SIL’s parents live in a different part of the country but they make a point of flying in on weekends (they run a business) several times a year. We are friendly with them and sometime the whole group gets together especially if they are here for a holiday, but we also give them space to enjoy GD. We can see her so often we have no problem sharing. They are lovely people and like us, adore her so it’s good for her to spend time with all of her grandparents.
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@anxiousmom - so happy things are working out so well with the move. I think it is a great situation for your grandchildren to be able to grow up with extended family.
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I’ve hesitated to post.
I’m pretty sure you know that this is about your dil and not you.
It sounds like this is who she is. She either is very attached to her family and is reluctant to bring anyone else in. Or the family is very controlling and she doesn’t know how to handle others outside of their control. Or a bit of both. It stinks for you because there is no way in, you are seemingly closed out with no choice.
I wish there could be a way to have an honest conversation with your son and hope to have more of a relationship with your granddaughter. But I also know how hard this is and how tricky it is to have a conversation with your adult children about things you wish could improve.
I don’t have any answers. Other than I am pretty sure that you are not the problem.
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I have a friend here who is widowed and has the same challenge with her older son’s family. If she goes down to visit (a state away) she has to stay at a hotel and has limited contact with her grandson. It’s been a while so he should be older now. I sure hope that has improved. It’s typically the daughter in laws who seem to limit access to the dad’s parents (paternal Grandparents). We are aware how fortunate we are that they appreciate us and our help.
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I wanted our kids to spend more time with my in laws, but they weren’t especially interested. They apparently spent enough time with their D’s S to get their grandparent fix. Even the relatives commented on it. I’m so glad that my D makes sure both sets of grandparents are actively involved in GD’s life.
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IDK if any of your grandbabies are under one and the parents are finding some of the baby formula is getting pricey or hard to get. DD was not able to get ‘store brand’ anymore this last shopping trip. Similac 360 Total Care, she was able to purchase for about $53 for 40 oz (container said 4 oz free). I looked at Amazon, and the 20.6 oz was $34.98 ($1.70/oz).
She used to use the baby formula until baby was no longer using a bottle. But now that the baby turns one, DD is going to use the Nestle NIDO Toddler Milk Beverage (for ages 1 - 3) Immunity Probiotic as soon as we use up the Similac. She has a NIDO container that is 4.85 lb - I forgot what she said the price was, but I believe it was less than what she spent for the 40 oz Similac. Make up bottles is the same, one scoop for every two oz of water. NIDO container says 61 servings. Amazon had the NIDO container for $39.18 - but that might be for a different size than her purchased container.
30 years ago, I remember the price of formula was about what diapers were - and not an expensive option to breastfeeding. Maybe $18/can? I remember purchasing maybe 6 cans at a time. Since I was an older mom working FT, I felt like I needed to bottle feed; plus the breast pumps were not what they are now.
Although DD breast fed her children (and was able to use breast pump at work), due to FT job demands and fatigue, she tapered off as they got older. Her two oldest are 14 months apart; the two youngest are 22 months apart. Oldest is now 6 and baby is just turning one. DD has been, and for a while will continue to be primary breadwinner.
Our GD was switched to regular milk at 12 months. She was breastfed until about six months and then they gave her formula
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At the age of one, it is recommended toddlers be switched to whole milk. Why feed them a processed formula when milk is readily available? Unless there is a health reason not to serve milk, I don’t see the reason to use this formula.
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