We’re sleepover buddies tonight! GD will be here in 45 minutes. I have a fresh pot of chicken soup on the stove … she loves when I make it.
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Sleepover went great! A bit of a meltdown when she wanted milk (she calls it leche) and the milk in our house was a bit sour (to be fair we just got back from a week away). Grandpa to the rescue, he went out and bought some- the advantage of having a supermarket a few blocks away.
GD was fine when D and SIL left, ate a nice dinner and went down easily (a bit later than normal, though). Not a peep all night. We had a fun morning playing. She is very much in a stage where she wants to sit and cuddle with Mimi. I hope it lasts!
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Congrats to your DD and SIL, @mominva! My guys are 15 months apart – it’ll be crazy for a while, but worth it!
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The design-your-own photo board books I mentioned just went on sale again. The “adventures with Dad” style has a thinner font, so that you can fit in more text. Custom Board Books for Kids | Pinhole Press
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My sister just texted me that she used one of the photo-puzzle companies. The puzzle arrived and her kids were putting it together (she’s quite a bit younger than I am, with little kids). Anyway, the kids kept saying it wasn’t them, and she said, “Oh yes, just keep working on it because you can’t see it yet” - and then - it was a different family!! 
I was just reminded of this because so many of the photo books/etc. look awesome but this was a hilarious possible outcome.
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OMG this is hilarious.
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DD1 is in her third trimester with child #5, and she works FT (and is the primary breadwinner). Parents have to plan carefully. We returned after ‘helping out’ over the Christmas break (second year, 2023 and 2024) when both parents could not always be home with the older two who were out of school.
The kids have been raised well - older ones were at super daycare/learning place, and their new location (July 2023 move with baby #4 just 3 weeks old and Army moved them) has excellent daycare (with summer program for the older kids) and excellent school for the older two. GD1 and GS1 completed K and 4K last year and are in 1st and K this year. Fall 2025 #3 will be in 4K. When SIL has been away in 2024 (once for 3 weeks and once for 2 weeks), I have been the 2nd person there which is absolutely needed. So right now, 2 at school and 2 at daycare. DD1 has 12 weeks maternity and SIL has 12 weeks paternity when the time comes - and he can spread his time out until baby #5 is 1 year old, using the time one week at a time blocks. DD1 works for the same employer (transferred jobs). She cannot leave her job and come back ‘later’ - would not re-enter w/o a Master’s nor come back in at her pay level (she has been in Master’s preferred job for 5 1/2 years - first level of management). With her job transfer, they (new boss and top admin) wanted her to get her Master’s, but even with 4 children that would have been asking a lot, as it would have been FT work plus two evening/online classes each term over a 3-year period, including a term of ‘intern’/teaching (which could be done at local nursing school, getting her Master’s in Nursing Education). Meanwhile SIL is working on cyber security certifications in his Army job - some is within his worktime but some is not – once he is done with his Army time he will climb on his pay to maybe approaching DD1’s pay. DD1 is super capable on many fronts at home and at work - before her transfer she won an award that is given one per hospital, and it was unanimous by the committee according to her boss (called the ‘unsung hero award’). In the new location, her boss allowed her to transfer to another job under the same boss (cost containment limited to no outside hiring), so her primary duties have changed but she is also a ‘safety net’ for her old position. A huge benefit is that she has 4 weeks paid leave per year, just like the military (she works for VA Hospital System). Thursday both DD1 and SIL have the day off (Federal Holiday, day of mourning for Jimmy Carter) so they have a ‘breather’, with all the kids in daycare and school.
I will arrive back to help them probably at least 10 days before due date - she has had two five to seven days early and will stay until after the baptism. DH will fly in for the baptism and we will fly out together. Some of my time will be doing ‘extras’ with GS1 and GS2 with pre-reading and reading; GS1 has very good K stuff to build on with pre-reading/reading. Then some of the same with GS2 as he is ready; work on enunciation/articulation with both GSs. Both GSs love Batman, and I have a 5-minute Batman reading story book I will be bringing.
Thankfully the children are all very healthy. DD1 makes sure they have healthy meals - gives older two breakfast and they have a packed lunch. Younger two have breakfast and lunch at daycare. She cooks solid meals, shops carefully (at home makes sure the kids have plenty of protein with breakfast for example - yogurt and fruit, cottage cheese and fruit, eggs in addition to the carbs). Makes sure shopped ingredients don’t have the food dies and additives, tries to eat ‘organic’ as possible.
SIL has to spend extra time with fitness and also gym time. His work assignment is at another base than where he has to do his group PT things (5 am start time).
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Wow, your DD1 description makes me tired! It sounds like they really have it together, including stability and growth job-wise. It’s so good that you can be another adult around. I wanted to do 80% for a while to help with my grandchild in the few months they live locally, but my job said no and I didn’t want to leave. 
Congrats on all the awards and accomplishments!
(I also do see the irony in an award called the “unsung hero award”!)
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SIL came to the realization that their city will be their city long-term, and he is satisfied with that. He sometimes is a glass half empty kind of person. But there is a lot of great work opportunity for him in their large TX city with several military bases. Can work directly for the government or as a contractor. If something does not appear in the right timeframe for after Army employment, he can sign a 1-year re-enlistment and stay in same city/job.
DD1 has ‘Invisalign’ for aligning her lower teeth – she had braces for her upper teeth as a teenager, and a permanent bar glued to the middle two teeth on the bottom - but her bottom teeth are shifting and for better bite and alignment she needed this ‘solution’ for her lower teeth. Since DD1 had an orthodontic appointment today, she called me. SIL had a certification test today, and he passed by a decent margin, so happy about that. With her pregnancy and the softening of bones/tissues, her teeth are shifting pretty well with her Invisalign molds.
SIL is having some gum procedures under their dental/medical plan. He has terribly aligned teeth and will need braces as over time his teeth will cause more medical issues. Hopefully one of DD1’s dental plans will cover adult orthodontia after SIL is out of the Army. He cannot start anything now with orthodontia. They know from DD1 how much orthodontia will be for SIL. SIL’s parents just could not afford orthodontia. I remember our dental plans covered about 50% of the cost for DDs’ braces, and we did a pay up front to save money as well.
One thing is that I caught them up on was the parents’ laundry once I did the kids’ laundry. They had several baskets of clothes in their room - and I folded the clean clothes and put them back in their room to put away. That was something SIL could have done to help. SIL sort of needs direction from DD1. DD1 makes nutritious meals every night, has all the groceries planned for the meals. They use Costco and their main grocery is HEB in TX. At HEB, they can order and do a pick-up which is a real time and energy saver.
Yes at age 30/31, DD1 has energy, but when she sits down, she is asleep, especially with this pregnancy.
The kids go to bed very well during the week, as the older ones know they have to get up fairly early. GS2 and GD2 are both pretty easy to get ready for daycare - about 35 minutes time before they have to leave the house. This morning, SIL was there to help DD1 due to his test time, and that was a help for DD1 - when I was there, I would help her get the two toddlers ready for them to be out the door with DD1.
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I am so impressed by your DD. I just had one child, no $ support, and young, inexperienced au pairs. I can only imagine what you and your DD live thru daily
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In fact, laundry is the thing I do for my S/DIL/GS. I go three times a week and receive snuggles and a big bag.
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GD2 is 3.5 months old and GD1 is almost 4. Can I tell you that D1 and her H have not handled both kids by one person? Both of them are going to have to do a bit of traveling (not together) starting Feb. D1 has already enlisted me and her in laws to help out.
When my kids were little their dad used to travel weeks at a time and I used to take care of them on weekends by myself.
I know for sure they are not going to have a third baby.
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I had two kids—2 years & 5 days apart. The longest I managed solo was when H went away for 5 weeks. I was pretty exhausted by the time he returned but we survived. I was staying at home tho, not working so we were better able to juggle.
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But @HImom – you didn’t tell us how old the kids were when you had them alone for five weeks!! 
I honestly can’t remember. Those days were a blur. H was traveling a ton when the kids were toddlers and infants. I knew if I REALLY needed help, I could have reached out to my mom or siblings but never did. He had 3 week and 5 week trips. The low point was when he was a on a multi-week trip that included Easter and we were at my sister’s house for an Easter gathering. She decided to have an egg hunt and said everyone could only find 5 eggs. Her kids wanted and did find more. My kids were younger and only found about 2 or 3 and were in tears. My sister was not sympathetic and said I needed to make my kids tougher.
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Our kids are 15 months apart. H used to travel frequently for work when they were little. I required major surgery four months after my second C-section and went back to wearing an abdominal binder so that I could lift our chunky baby during the day. H only stayed home for a week after that surgery and I had no help. When the little chunk was 15 months old my back was injured and I was told I could not lift either child, no exceptions. We used a toddler picnic table for meals when H wasn’t at home, and cribs were replaced with mattresses on the floor until I could order a low captain’s bed and a daybed with trundle.
Somehow we survived, but help would have been so nice. That’s one reason we wanted to be available to help D. My parents lived about 20 minutes away, but mother made it clear she’d had enough of children, and she told my dad and brother not to “bother” us because they’d disrupt the kids’ schedule. 
When I wanted Dad to visit, I had to call him when I was pretty sure she’d be out.
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Wow @silpat! I am sorry you are left to handle your kids when you were recovering from major surgery! It’s sad your family chose not to be helpful, especially your mom! That’s so COLD!
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A major reason H and I moved to be near D and SIL was to help with any grandchildren. I did not want D to have to give up her career like I did. Our families were both 800 miles away from where we lived so I had zero help and no emergency back up. My kids are 5 years apart but it was tough when they were small and H traveled.
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I think our kids are very lucky.
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Our kids are VERY lucky! My first two were 17 months apart and my oldest was not quite 5 when my third was born. I worked full-time and we did a lot of “tag-team” parenting so both of us were often home alone with the kids. It was a lot but we got through it.
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