One of my kids is starting to think about having kids. I will be so sad if I plan a big trip and find out they are due right around then. BUT, we all gotta live and do our own things, including travel while we are young and healthy enough.
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My GD was born in the midst of my FIL’s final health crisis. We were fortunate to be there the day she came home from the hospital, but we were called to my FIL’s bedside the next day … and stayed for two weeks. FaceTime was a godsend.
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We didn’t know about the baby when all this was planned and booked!
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Well in our case, we invited DS/DDIL to travel with us and they said they would “have a lot going on that summer” so we didn’t bother planning a trip, and then presto a baby 
was the reason they couldn’t come…
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I’m wondering how many colds you can catch from your grandkids. I think I’m on my third since Thanksgiving.
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A lot. We rarely had colds until grandkids. Luckily H and I took turns.
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Same here! These cutest Petri dishes have unlimited access to new cold strains!
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Yes they are germ monsters! Despite being up to date on my flu shots, COVID shots, etc…Last year I think I got 2 URIs and norovirus. This year I have had 2 URIs already.
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D1 texted me, “On this day is GD1’s grandparent day at school. I signed you up for it.”
I texted back, “I guess I am always available.”
D1 replied, “GD1 is in high demand, but you get the first dip.”
It did give me pause because GD1 does have 3 separate sets of grandparents and any of us would have loved to go.
I was happy D1 thought of me.
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My husband filmed one of our cats upclose chowing down her breakfast as I was dumping the food in her bowl (she eats like she has been starving for a week!) and sent that video to little kid. Little Miss Mess (now 22 months old) watched the video with her mom, saw my hands in the video, pointed to them, and said, “Nana!” Kid was shocked that she recognized my hands! 
I think she remembered me feeding the cats a couple of weeks ago when she visited.
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Took GS to nature center this weekend and there were erosion control bars on the hill side. He decided to handle them like he’d handled steps. By getting down on his belly and sliding down which meant he was good and dirty by the bottom.
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HD was over today and we went out to play. The melting snow has left huge muddy puddles all over the lawn. GD had a blast running through the puddles, jumping up & down in them, and eventually crawling through them. Her snowsuit, hat, gloves and boots were filthy - and soaking wet. She was incredibly happy!
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I go to see the grandkids/DD1/SIL tomorrow! Tedious getting things done at home (will be gone for 35 days (DH will be home except for the last 4 or 5, when he will be flying to meet me and then we hopefully can be on the same return flight). I am waiting for ‘official’ baptism date to book DH’s airline ticket.
On these trips, my carry-on is mostly filled with stuff for Gkids, and on return I come back with an empty carry-on. I have a free checked bag. My ‘purse’ is a cloth bag that holds my laptop. I have an empty regular purse in the carry-on. It is such a good feeling to get all that warm Nana love! Excited to also be with DD1/SIL. Every trip SIL is less ‘defensive’ as he gets more comfortable with us as ‘family’. I only met him a few times socially before they were married - I was in Switzerland when he asked DH for DD1’s hand in marriage. They did all their wedding planning in their city - I did help DD1 with getting her wedding dress and helped with the ordering of the bridesmaid dresses.
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Hi fellow grandparents! I’ve perused this thread for a few years, but haven’t been active. But, I do know what a huge resource this group is so hoping for some advice…
Our 3 year old grandson has always been very, very active and quite physical. He is a runner, jumper, climber, etc. He hasn’t always been the best listener, but seemingly getting better. He started pre-school last fall and that has gone well. Until recently…
He got an beautiful baby sister in January. He appears to have adjusted well to her and loves her (sometimes a little “too” much) but now that she is 4 months old, his behavior has gotten worse. He is having a harder time settling down (even at school) and he absolutely does not listen. Getting him to leave a park, for example, is difficult. He runs away, laughs, etc. It is almost like he “knows” he is being difficult but doesn’t really care! Our S and DIL are frustrated and worried about him being labeled now that the school has mentioned it. They have read and done all the things suggested for helping him adjust to the new baby (spending extra time with just him, “telling” the baby she has to wait, etc).
He is generally a very sweet little boy albeit very energetic. I have 2 sons and neither was quite like him and I didn’t deal with any of this when my older son (grandson’s dad) welcomed his little brother 31 years ago!
Anyone out there deal with anything like this? I really do feel like he is acting out more because of the baby although it has been 4 months that she has been here - I would have thought he would have reacted more to her earlier but who knows!?
And I thought worrying about little ones was behind me… 
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For 4 months, the baby has been a lump, albeit a lump that has gotten a lot of attention. Now that she’s starting to do things like babble, play with toys on the floor, roll over, etc, She’s not a lump anymore; she’s a competitor for his parents’ attention. He has just suddenly realized that there is another living being in his house he has to deal with. It’s a shock. It’s the difference between being told something and actually comprehending something–that his life has irrevocably changed.
Of course that not listening part might just be him being him. He’s entering a testing phase to see if all the old rules still apply now that there’s been a big change in his life.
Both twin are selective listeners. Twin A because she just goes off and does her own thing and actively resents it when trying to be redirected and told she has to stop doing what she’s doing. (Like stop an activity to come to dinner, or it’s time to leave the park to go home.) She does the same things your grandson is doing. She doesn’t run away but she refuses to get off the equipment and goes completely limp on the ground (think 60s protester) when you try to pick her up or take her hand to pull her along. With her, the best action is to say goodbye, wave and say very loudly that you’re leaving and start walking toward the exit/car. She will eventually decide she doesn’t want to be left behind and will run to catch up. Any afterschool activity with her is particularly fraught because she is filled with pent up “crazy” and need some unstructured time to just run around and be wild.
What her parents (and I) have tried and which sometimes works are timers and countdown, with letting her know 5 minutes until we leave, 3 minutes until we leave, 2 minutes , 1 minute ahead of leaving that it’s time to go. Then you just leave–and they can come or not. She once missed a trip to aquarium because she refused to leave the house. She stayed home with grandma who is boring and wouldn’t entertain her or let her watch TV. D calls this letting her experience natural consequences for her decisions.
I’ve also been known to take her favorite lovey hostage and tell I’m holding on to it until she gets into her car seat and is buckled in or comes to the table.
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Thank you for this. I have been using timers with him for a while with great success - perfect little Pavlov’s dog! And his parent’s have started walking away at the park which seems to work (sometimes).
What you describe as pent up “crazy” is exaclty what I have observed and, I believe, is happening in pre-school when it is a transition time. He eventually does settle down but lately, it has been more of a struggle.
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I would track his routine/schedule and food for a week or two - don’t just think about it, actually write it down. Look for consistencies - and times of the day things are really inconsistent. Also track when his behavior is off kilter - certain times of the day?
Pay really close attention to sleep and nutrition. Sometimes during the high energy preschool years kids increase their need for sleep - and a symptom of lack of sleep can be overactivity. Food wise does he need more snacks? More healthy carbs? Less sugar?
Baby’s needs even at 4 months may be trumping his routine.
And the last suggestion is natural, logical consequences. At 3 he can understand “if this happens, then this will happen next” - make it clear, if you run away from me at the playground, then tomorrow we will only be able to play in the yard at home (consequence).
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Some kids just have trouble with transitions. Twin A definitely does.
Twin A also hyper focuses and is a perfectionist. Her parents are aware that these may signal she has ADHD. Her mom has ADHD and I wouldn’t be surprised if Twin A does also.
So this something your son and DIL may want to keep in the back of their minds
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There is an older book but, I think is excellent - I discovered it in 1988. I see there is a 2000 edition. ‘The Difficult Child’ by Turecki and Tonner. It was invaluable with D. The title sounds bad but it is a very positive book and how to fit to the child.
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I am with the grandkids and parents now - GD1 will turn 7 in May, GS1 will turn 6 in July, GS2 will turn 4 Aug 31 (important, as he will go to K4 in the fall with Sept 1 BD cutoff), GD2 is 21 months old, and baby #5 is due March 25 but will be born earlier from then - we are in the ‘window’ with DD1’s obstetrician visit yesterday that I was there – she is measuring exactly at 37 weeks, heard all about baby’s positioning with listening to heartbeat. DD1 is getting her bag for delivery ready this weekend and has a baby shower at work today! GD2 was born 7 days before due date.
GS2 has displayed some of the behaviors you cited - knows when he is not following directions, the running away.
This GS needs time and attention but also need to be reminded that the baby needs some more immediate attention sometimes, and as a child gets older, they can have some patience and that we will get to the things he wants later. Try to display extra hugs and love messages to him and also positive reinforcement “you are being such a good boy”, “you are being very patient and I am proud of you”, etc. Give and extra reward later “if you do XYZ, while I am attending to your little sister, we can do ABC later”. When ‘later’ happens, remind GS that we are happy you get this reward (it can be reading a book he likes, playing a game, getting a treat etc.)
Also rewards for having a great school day - and talk about how happy you are about that. If he has some behavior issues at school, talk about it and how it makes you sad that he didn’t have a good day at school. Then step through the school/daycare situation and what would be a better choice for him. Teachers/daycare understand these circumstances - and do like to see the improvement as the issues get addressed and the boy can again become negative behavior-free during care time.
Also, at home, GS can help with very minor things that you may not really need his help, but to get him engaged in tasks - “can you be a big boy and throw this away for me?”, “can you go get a diaper for baby out of the bin?”. Have him do things and praise him for it, be it picking up toys, putting his shoes away, getting a clean shirt out of his drawer, getting a spoon for mommy/daddy during cooking, etc. The child wants to be a participant and engaged. DD1 has individual clothing basket for each child’s dirty clothes, so they are to put their dirty clothes in their basket - no dirty clothes left on the floor. After laundry, folded clean clothes are in the colored basket for each child to put away. At first it might be a bit more parent work/supervision, but the more tasks the child can learn to do, it will help them grow up in a matured way.
Always with a positive spin.
It was great to walk into school after care with DD1 – GS1 was within earshot and I said his name – he immediately yelled out “Nana” and ran to me with a huge smile, giving me a grand hug. GD1 heard GS yell out “Nana” and she also happily ran to me to give me a grand hug. All happy.
However, on the ride home, DD1 and I could tell GD1 was getting ‘edgy’ - and later at home she would not do a simple task and acted out to her dad. GD1 can be an attention ‘hog’ - part of her personality and partly because even with 3 (soon to be 4) younger siblings, she manages with charm and timing to have and obtain a lot of attention.
DD2 cannot pick up GD2. GD2 is the only child that has not had a lot of bonding time with me, and she at first looked at me like a stranger. I started singing some of the tunes she was familiar with that I do with all the grandkids, and she started warming up to me. GD2 definitely wants to hang around momma, so I fetch things when momma has GD2 in her lap and allow GD2 to maintain serenity. GD2 and GS2 share a room, and I got them ready for bed and put to bed and helped them both get ready before daycare today. We will get into that M - F routine with all the kids again as we have before on my visits. The weekends get directed by what is going on, and I coordinate with the parents.
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