The bike riding is awesome! DH said for GS1 (age 5) he will not need the training wheels once he has about 2 hours or less activity. They have to take them to a safe area to bike ride (their street is definitely not a safe area and their driveway is short and, on an incline). 2 YO watching others with an activity and getting tips, nice. GS2, age 3 1/2 was along with the bike riding, and watched and ran. He can’t reach the petals on GS1’s bike. When we come over Christmas break, DH and SIL can take the kids out again, and maybe have training wheels on a smaller bike for GS2. There is a used sports store that has a line up of bikes from very small sizes - so a source for a bike for GS2.
So fun to see the learning and social interactions.
Our driveway is average length and slopes down quite steeply. It’s actually easier to learn on an incline since the momentum helps you stay upright and balanced. Requires less pedaling too.
No riding in the street here --not because of traffic, but because we live about half up a VERY steep hill.
We take the kiddos to nearby school or church parking lot that’s relatively flat to practice.
Both twins started learning on a balance bike (no pedals) but they’ve outgrown it. Dad got them real bike that have removable pedals. They started off using them as balance bikes to get used to the hand brakes, then Dad added pedals
The rent house driveway is barely longer than a car length, and it slopes down to the street which is busy. Construction across the street with cars often parked across the street. People driving fast, faster than posted 25.
Dad had taken the younger two, and I was taking the older two to school one morning last week. It was still dark outside. I was parked on their house side of the street with the kids in the 3rd row seating. I had put them in on the grass side, but due to hearing commotion in the back, I was double checking their car seat buckles (coming from the driver side), and a car in the dark raced by very close to the car and where I would have been exiting (the sliding back doors so I would have been stepping very close to the car). Yikes, did that scare me. I had shut my driver door because I wanted to have that be out of the way of any traffic. The driver should have seen the car interior lights and been cautious but, no, reckless.
I’m pretty sure I have shared this before?
GS and GD ride Woom bikes. They’re incredibly light and easy to learn to ride. One thing that makes the early bikes safer is the turn limiter which makes crashing from overturning almost impossible.
We had a family get together this weekend. My sister got along with GD1 very well. She asked GD1 if she would like to come for a visit with me. GD1 asked her if she lived close by me. My sister said that GD1 would have to take a plane to visit. GD1 said, “I think it would be better if I could come with mom and dad.”
My Grandchildren would jump at the chance to get on a plane with Nana/Grandpa - all the of the older ones (3 1/2 to almost 7). But they would miss mom and dad, and more specifically their mom. When GD1 was 4, she remained with Grandpa, Aunt Titi, and me for two overnights and a day at Disney World. On the drive back to mom and dad’s, she did well with the stops and breakfast and lunch - but in the afternoon got antsy with the car ride. After a bathroom break (which wasn’t needed) and she asked for another break, we did a quick stop and McDonald’s and then had to keep telling her “we are almost home” and give her reports. All in all it was a great trip. GS1 got an airplane ride with mom and a stay with Aunt Titi along with his Disney trip. GS2 will get his Disney airplane ride/experience with his dad. Aunt Titi promised each kid a day in Disney once they were potty trained. GS2 will be 4 1/2 at trip time next spring.
This weekend I also took GD1 out to lunch to give her parents a break. At the restaurant she met a girl who was 2 years older than her. The parents told me they were goi g to Sweden that night. They asked if we had any pointers about traveling because it was going to be the little girl’s first plane trip. Before I could say anything, GD1 said, “you can watch shows on the plane then go to sleep.” The parents said, “you sound like a pro.”
D1 and her H like to travel. GD1 was on a plane at 5 month and GD2 took a first flight to Cancun at 10 weeks.
Our kids each took 1st flights at 6 months of age. They were great travelers but we didn’t sleep on the plane so we dragged while they were full of energy because they had slept on the plane.
Today in my Apple News feed was an article from The Atlantic called Grandparents are reaching their limits. It’s unfortunately behind a paywall so I can’t link it.
It’s about how grandparenting has changed in recent years. If you are able to access it, I thought it was very interesting.
I have questions. How much help did you get from your parents, did your grandparents provide a lot of caregiving?
My mom was working when my kids were young. As soon as they retired, they moved to a sunbelt state. Then they took my kids for a week every summer but that was it. My mil provided care sporadically for the other grandkids because they lived 2 blocks away. My grandmother had a child 5 years older than me. She never as I remember took care of any of the grandkids as she was busy with her own.
My parents and inlaws were 800 miles from where H and I lived when our kids were small. So I think you can guess how much help we got.
Parents and inlaws visited 1-2 times/year but didn’t really help with the kids then.
My inlaws did help both of my sister inlaws with their kids (they lived nearby) and now both SIL’s are helping with their own grandchildren. None took care of the kids full time of had them live with.
I also can’t read it. I’m also not a grandparent yet.
BUT I can comment on the child care question. Both our parents (and all other family) were out of town. So no in town help. Additionally we were the amongst the youngest children in our families so late down the line of having children so grandparents were older.
We did use child care for all 3 of our kids but it was always a home child care situation (at a provider’s home). I have always worked but worked part time when the kids were younger and H’s schedule was such that he was sometimes home when I worked. So while H and I often didn’t see each other, lol, we only had to use child care 2 days a week.
There was still juggling though and our kids were spread out in age a bit (first one 1988, then 1992, then 1997) so we were doing the child care thing for many, many years.
I’m gonna be honest. I think I preferred having a provider. I was pretty darn fussy how the kids were taken care of and as I said, since the grandparents were older, I think I would have been a little anxious for them to have 2 or 3 to watch over.
My parents lived 100 miles away and they were still working when I had my daughters. My mom did come after she retired when the kids were 8 and 6. She came in the summers and stayed with us on the weeks the girls didn’t go to camp. My parents also had the girls come stay with them so that H and I could travel on our own.
My parents watched my brother’s 3 kids on the weekends when my brother and SIL were both working (this was when my parents still worked). My brother and SIL were very young parents and lived across the street from my mom and dad. Now my youngest brother has 3 kids that are 9, 8 and almost 5. They live a mile from my mom and she goes over 5 mornings a week to get the kids ready for school and to the bus stop so that my brother and SIL can get to work early.
Darn that the article is behind a paywall. It was in my Apple News, I was hoping it would be available.
One of the points I came away with is that there seems to be a lot of griping (on social media) from young parents that their boomer parents are making the best of their retirement, playing golf and having cocktails at 4:30. When it seems that grandparents these days are statistically proving more childcare than their parents did.
Which was the reason for my question.
I have one granddaughter and she’s in daycare. Both myself and the other grandmother are far away. I think those kids would be happy to move closer but finding 2 jobs in their respective fields is hard. So they stay where they are.
My parents lived a few hours away and were still working, so they didn’t help at all. My in-laws OTOH. My MIL retired just before I had older S. I should first say that when I had my kids, there were NO daycares for kids under the age of 2 in my city. You either stayed home, had family watch them, or had a semi-illegal home based solution. The semi-illegal is because the city requires providers with more than 2-3 kids to register as a business, which then would entail the home to have things like sprinkler systems installed. So nobody registers and the city looks the other way. Also many providers are cash only and don’t pay taxes. (Mine did pay Uncle Sam!)
When older S was born, I had to go back after 8 calendar days. My MIL was a godsend! But, she also had to work 20 days/year as part of her teacher retirement agreement. Covering those days was a nightmare since i only got 2 weeks vacation, ZERO flex time or WFH, and was trying to build up for a second maternity leave. After that first year, we found a sitter and split the time. That gradually became less and less until the sitter was full-time. Once the kids were in school, the in-laws picked them up every day until H got out of school, roughly an hour later. This was awesome, and I will be forever grateful for their help. I have no complaints with anything they did. I recognized that I was a clueless parent, and they managed to raise H, so I figured they’d be fine!
The downside is that since they helped so much, I didn’t want to ask them for any additional help. We didn’t have a date or any time away from the kids until they were 6 & 3! And even that was limited to a couple of hours every couple of months.
My parents lived 30-45 minutes from us and were of little help. I had to be desperate. They loved to see the grandkids but just for dinner or to drop by and say hello. My MIL died when my DH was young. My FIL, though much older than my parents ( by 20 years) would always help but we tended not to ask too much. I found sitters, it worked out.
My DH and I would very much like to help our own kids as much as possible- we are more like his dad was for us.
Maybe because this younger generation had parents who were more kid centric than older generations they now feel childcare for their own should come from their parents. I think a balance between the two is healthy. I want to enjoy my retirement but also be helpful to my kids.
My parents were retired when we moved to NJ to be closer to them. My kids were 8 and 4 at that time. They watched the kids after school and took them to ECs. It wasn’t a lot of work for them. Prior to moving to NJ, we were on our own when it came to childcare. I had full time nanny at home from 8-6pm.
D1 doesn’t expect regular babysitting from me. I only do it on weekends when they are going out, or if they are out of town then I’ll sleep over, but it’s still the nanny who watches the kids during the day.
I think it is a lot to expect grandparents to do regular childcare. It would be a lot for me to take care 2 kids (4 & 7 mon old) by myself.
If any child is complaining about this I would question how much they care for their boomer parents. Making the “best of retirement” should be the gold standard for everyone. And I bet it will be the mantra for those whiny kids!!
I never, ever felt that our parents were responsible for providing assistance to us. I hoped they would be glad to see the kids when they could - and they were - but our daily routine of work and life was our job to figure out.
I love, love, love my kids and I hope to have a grandchild or two but my kids don’t owe me and I don’t owe them days of the week to assist with their families. I love children so much and have plenty of energy but to be tied to providing child care more than 2 days a week would NOT be a life I want to live. I would be an assist but I don’t want to be the child care plan. My personal feeling is that young parents need to have the rein on child care choices and providers - and not muddy our relationship by relying on H and I to be their sole child care team.
My opinion only! Don’t judge others who choose differently!
My kids went to an onsite daycare at my work. All three sets of grandparents lived close. My in-laws helped out when the kids were sick, etc…. My mom was a teacher but helped during the summers. When my boys were older they did a sailing program by my dad’s house and he would store their boats, drop them off and pick them up and did the mandatory parent volunteer stuff.
I am retired. My son and his family (3 kids 5,4 and 2) live 80 miles away. His MIL helps them a lot and when she travels I go down and help. My daughter and her family (3,8 months)live close by. I watched her oldest five days a week his first year, and then every Friday (the other grandma moved closer and watched him on Mondays). Since November I have watched the baby (and grandpup) three days a week. My daughter is a teacher so I have the summers off. Pretty sure in the fall I will watch the baby (and puppy) on Fridays.
My first thought was “How whiny! Your parents raised you. That was their job. Your job is to raise your kids.” It’s nice to have them help. I’d love someday to be able to help, but I don’t want to do it every day full time for years on end.
My next thought is “boomer parents?” That’s my parents? I’m a generation behind…
