Today we had a math and Spanish pun when my son described his son (my only grandchild so far) as the sole member of my “abuelian group”
(Abelian group - Wikipedia)
4 Likes
I was responsible for my 2 grandchildren for 4 days while the parents were away. I used the word responsible, not taking care of, because I had 2 babysitter helping me out. I was only alone with them from 6-7:30pm on weekdays. On Saturday I had D2 to help me out in the morning and a sitter from 4-7 .
I have to say by Saturday night, I was flat on my back. GD2 is a chunky 8 month old. And GD1 is a precocious 4 year old. I felt like I never had a moment to myself.
Yes, I still enjoyed it.
12 Likes
Important question: My 5 yr. old granddaughter is in a little dance recital on Saturday. Am I supposed to take her a small bouquet? (I only have sons so have no experience).
3 Likes
We always took small bouquets for our D’s dance recitals, as did the grandparents. Nothing big or fancy in our case.
4 Likes
I’m sure she’d love a flower or small bouquet or sometimes we’d use a wide ribbon and attach a bag of chips or sweet treat (when our kids did things that folks wanted to recognized use).
2 Likes
I would take a little bouquet for her.
4 Likes
Last year Nashville GD had a small recital and teacher told parents at the last class to be sure to bring flowers, especially so no one is left without getting at least one flower. I went to Publix and bought an inexpensive bouquet that had one rose and other assorted flowers.
2 Likes
D2 (with her husband) and I always attend GD1’s recital. We usually bring her a ballet doll, book, tutu, or flowers.
4 Likes
I love the idea of bringing flowers/etc. and I would say only that it’s also for the little boys! I felt terrible after DS25’s first show when a lot of the other kids got flowers and he didn’t…until he did, because his little cousin, also a boy, had bought them at intermission (!)
I only have one boy who did ballet (DS20, who also requested, and got, care of RIT dye, orange ballet slippers). But all have done some kind of dance/theater/music and had shows where kids got flowers afterward.
2 Likes
My daughter was a pre professional ballet dancer, so there were many, many performances a year! She always received flowers, but when family members would attend, I wouldn’t get flowers and let them do the honors. The happiest to see the flowers was daughter’s cat; he loved to eat the baby’s breath in the arrangement! It was as if he knew it was Nutcracker season; he would be at the door when we walked in the door!
GD received flowers for her little preschool ballet recital from parents and myself.
One cute idea I did when D was in high school, was to buy these, so did the same for GD. There are others; this just happens to be the ones I bought last year. My D kept one of hers wrapped around her visor in her car while in high school and college. When she moved to the UK, we let my dad drive her car. He refused to move the flower! GD has hers in her room. I got a stuffed ballet bunny for my mother to give GD as a 4 year old didn’t need 3 bouquets of flowers.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09TZT7DW1
5 Likes
My S danced for a couple years. The studio had a great program for boys, so there were lots of other boys … and many received flowers. My S told us beforehand “no flowers” (he had been to his sister’s recitals) … he told us he preferred ice cream!
2 Likes
D was in a paddling team and after every weekly race, all the parents wanted to give SOMETHING to the whole crew of 6 in the boat. We generally gave a wide ribbon with an edible treat attached. Tge kids were always hungry and happy to have something to much on.
3 Likes
@HImom -I really like that idea!
At little kid’s recitals, parents would bring flowers for the music teacher and the accompanist.
6 Likes
The backyard climbing structure has arrived and been assembled.
Now my grands have another place to climb that doesn’t destroy the shrubbery.
11 Likes
Super fun night with family at the Mount Vernon. There is something cool about sitting on a lawn drinking good wine and realizing you are looking at view that George Washington would have had.
We all took turns following GS around as he explored the event and went towards the band to dance. He had blast and it was very fun to hang out with him.
10 Likes
Since I have a ‘gift’ article, you should be able to read this story about grandparents raising their daughter’s four children. Addiction and depression indications in some family history.
My Parents Expected to Be Retired. Instead, They Are Raising My Sister’s Kids. - The New York Times
1 Like
This thread is close to 10 years old, I’m sure what I’m about to ask has been discussed. But with over 5k posts, I’m not going to attempt to read them.
Although my situation is a little premature as my oldest (male) just married last fall and no kids yet, I’ve been getting subtle comments, of which I’ve ignored.
I know they want to have kids. They are currently looking for a nice big house and they both make decent money. According to him, she makes twice as much as him.
I know it’s going to be asked straight up when she gets pregnant, but I have absolute zero interest in being a FT or PT babysitter. None. Zilch. I didn’t like babysitting when I was a teen and didn’t even think I wanted kids until I was in my 30’s. Of course I adored my sons, i was mostly happy to work outside the home, until a certain point I wasn’t, then went part time. Like many of us, my life was my family. It was all consuming.
Now I’m 65, and love this freedom. The freedom of doing whatever I want, or nothing at all.
So, how do I head off the question they will want to ask? I don’t want hard feelings, or to think less of me. We still do and give a lot to our families. I guess I don’t want to have to explain or defend my reasons, I just don’t want to be asked.
1 Like
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you saying no, thank you if asked.
My mom raised five kids, the first four less than four years apart. She was still working when I had kids, but I sensed that she would not have been interested in being a grandma-babysitter. I would not be surprised if your S senses that you would not be interested. If/when the subject comes up, just be honest. It’s okay. You aren’t the parent, and you get to set the parameters for your grandparenting. No apologies needed.
Communication is key. If the subject comes up, say that while you’re excited to have a good relationship with your grandchild, you’re not interested in being a caregiver.
3 Likes
Thanks! He caught me off guard, I’ll be ready with something next time. We do a lot fir him, but he also does everything we ask (just spent 4 hours mulching and mowing our lawn). I just don’t want bad feelings or resentment from him, of course. Like, he’ll retaliate by not doing us a favor or something. (Which we rarely ask). I Know I’m getting ahead of myself.