D1 and SIL are closing on their house in Connecticut today and will be moving mid January from Southern California with our 2 month old GD. We are so happy that they were able to find and purchase a beautiful home to raise our GD in. There was no way they could do this in Southern California even with our help. I know it is going to be difficult for me not getting to see our GD like I do now, but that is my problem and I never want D1 to feel bad about the move. Luckily our SIL’s parents live a half hour away so GD will have them close by.
My question for all of you grandparents that don’t live near your grandchildren is what do you do to keep in touch and foster a close relationship with them? We already have several trips planned to visit next year as well as a family vacation in Bermuda in the summer. H and I will be able to travel there a lot and the home they bought has plenty of room for us. I just wanted to know the day to day things you do to keep close to your far away grandchildren.
My GD lives in IN and we are in MA. We use FaceTime (on iPhone)!! It’s great and we use it almost everyday to talk to GD and her Mom/Dad. We try to get together every 2-3 months. My GD is almost 5 and really enjoys telling us about her day. Also, GD’s parents send lots of photos on WhatsApp (better than sending on iPhone). While it’s not the same as having them live nearby, it does feel like we’re connecting regularly.
When my GD did not live in the same city, and my SIL’s parents were in the UK, there was FT almost every day. The UK grands were called during breakfast, and I got the dinner call! It was easy as GD was in her highchair, so contained! While she wasn’t talking yet, we just got to watch her eat, but as she got older, we would have a nice chat. Now that she is 6, and in my same city, I don’t get those daily calls, so actually “see” her less. My SIL still calls his parents most mornings.
We also have group chats on WhatsApp where the kids share video and picture of the kids. There is rarely a day my son doesn’t post something; my daughter doesn’t send as much. They have a chat with my mother, where they post videos and photos for her. Mom watches these over and over again.
There are also apps/programs where you can share and read a book to the grandkids. I know others here might have suggestions.
GS lives in MA and we are in MN. We see them 3-4 times a year and FaceTime fairly regularly, but probably not as often as we should. He’s now almost 2 1/2, so FT is more productive now that he’s talking more. D and SIL announced the pregnancy at Christmas and I half-jokingly said that if I had known sooner, I would have asked for an Aura frame for Christmas, after learning about them on this site! I was in town for the baby shower Mother’s Day weekend and they gifted me one for MD. They add a lot of photos and short videos which are so fun to watch. Another thing I did was get a Hallmark recordable book called “Under the Same Moon” for her shower and recorded it with my voice. D says he loves to listen to it and he’s now realizing that it’s me.
Thank you for all of the great suggestions so far. D1 has said she plans to FT with us each day. We also plan to record us reading stories for the Toniebox we got GD for Christmas. Everyone in our family has an Aura frame so we already share pictures and videos even living in the same town now. We have group chats set up for our family in Whatsapp and we share pictures and videos there. D1 also set all of us up with an app called FamilyAlbum to all share pictures of our GD.
With 2-month-old GD, in addition to the online FaceTime (that at this young age she might not pay a lot of attention to), it would be with visits and spending vacation time together. If you are retired, perhaps can travel a bit more for visits. Perhaps this is your only grandchild? Certainly, need to consider other adult children and family members in spreading out your time with seeing.
DD1/SIL lived 100 miles away from us until July 2023 - their 4th child was born 3 weeks before their Army move to distant state. My Nana great familiarity developed with the older two solidly during Covid when their daycare was closed for 6 weeks, and I was live-in babysitter from Sunday afternoon until Friday when DD1 got home from work. At the start, we did not know how long daycare was going to be closed. I worked PRN in nursing but only needed to work 1 day within a 29 day period. GD1 was almost 2, and GS1 was almost 1. When GS2 was born Aug 2021, he easily bonded to me - he noticed his older siblings embracing me and being familiar with me on time together, and I could also have time and attention for him. GS2 is the middle of 5 children now, as am I, so I establish special things with him; I make sure he feels the love and connection. GD2 was about 6 months old when we next saw her and her siblings as DH and I help during school break at Christmas/New Year’s when DD1/SIL can’t take the time off from work to cover 100% of childcare needs. GD2 would allow me to change her diaper, feed her, help her with things, but if DD1 was around, she definitely had that preference. That preference continued through the next year and into Christmas 2024 - she would go to momma’s leg or proximity. However, when I was there for about 5 weeks when GD3 was born March 2025, GD2 got to be very outgoing to everyone. This also was evident on a joint trip in June and again at Thanksgiving. I was with the family for the month of September 2025 as DD1 went back to work FT after maternity leave and some working from home; I took care of GD3 all day M - F, and she was very accepting and familiar with me - daycare didn’t have a spot for her until the end of the month. It was a one-day adjustment for her after being 100% with mom/breast feeding from when she was born the end of March – she has been 100% breast milk in bottle or breast since the beginning of Sept. It was a one-day adjustment for her at daycare too. However, GD3 at Thanksgiving, at 8 months, didn’t really remember me - but there were a lot of relatives who were great with holding her and enjoying her. I imagine when we are there at their home Christmas/New Year’s 2025, GD3 will gain more familiarity with me again. I have a few special songs I sing to the kids, and that also has some recognition factors. One song is the Archie’s “Sugar, Sugar”. Instead of the lyric ‘You are my Candy Girl’ I often say Candy Girl and Boy, Candy Boy, or some combination depending on the child/children present.
We will see what 2026 brings with SIL transitioning out of Army and into FT work in their city. Then looking for us to relocate to their city in 2027 (in TX). Our other adult child is DD2, age 29, and she is single living in Orlando. We currently live in N AL. We are retired and have no family where we currently live - but have lived in this area since 1983 (longer than anywhere else).
We are not yet retired, but plan to do so in just over a year. All of my family is here in Southern California and we have no plans to relocate even though this is our only grandchild so far. Our goal will be to see GD in person as much as possible. D1 and SIL love where we live and plan to visit us as much as possible too.
When GD is older, other bonds can develop - for example, my sister (who is the oldest of our siblings) has a GD that is the oldest of four. My sister is a pen-pal to this GD (even though their cities are only 60 miles apart), and this GD knows her grandma understands being the oldest/extra responsibilities. My sister is a ‘safe person’ to share frustrations – this GD is now 14 and started at a new HS (home schooled before that) and loves HS. My sister also gives gifts that may not be more money than what she spends on the other grandkids but translate the personal relationship/understanding.
I have three local and one in Northern California. We are lucky that it isn’t a long flight for them and Southwest has a direct flight. We FaceTime a lot which has gotten more difficult as GD runs around and gets wild and silly. My daughter sends pictures and videos everyday. We have now done a family trip in the summer the last three years and will do it again. They try to come here a few times and we go to them several times a year. Our away grandchild definitely knows us.
We haven’t started this yet but I have heard of a few grandparents who when the kids are a bit older they read together. One grandma I know does a book club with her 10 and 11 year old grandchildren.
It’s hard on my daughter when the rest of the family is together and they aren’t here. There is no way to avoid that but it’s something to be honest about. We talk it through but it’s still hard.
@showmom858 We are only about an hour (lol depending on traffic) away from my son’s kids but in addition to FaceTime, pictures, etc… one thing I made my oldest granddaughter when she was a baby was a board book on pinhole press. She loved dogs as a baby so I made a book of all her various family members and their dogs. She absolutely loved it and a couple years later her sister requested I make one for her too.
GS woke up with a fever on Sunday. He stayed home from daycare yesterday and today. He was fever-free by mid-day today and was definitely better by mid-afternoon.
DW took care of him yesterday and i took over from SiL late morning .
I am hanging out with him tomorrow evening so DD,SiL and DW can go see Guys and Dolls at the Washington Shakespeare Theater
I know it’s an oldie, but it’s still a goodie for kids - If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. A good newer one is Dragons Love Tacos. Pete the Cat books and Pigeon books are fun.
Bookroo offers a monthly book subscription for children.
When the twins were born their aunt signed them up. They got a monthly box of charming, age-appropriate Board Books. When they outgrew board books around age 3, Aunt switched their subscription to the Picture Book level. They get 2 hardback picture books/month. Once they start reading on their own, they’ll move up to the Junior Chapter Books club.
The girls love it and it’s aways exciting to see what books they get. So far we’ve never had a duplicate book of one they already had. Almost every book has been a winner.
I like Bookroo so much, I just gave a subscription to my new granddaughter when I visited her in October. (I wanted to check with her mom first because mom is pretty militant about not getting “stuff’. Mom liked the idea and GD#3 loves being read to.)
I’m looking for newer book suggestions for ages 2-4
The Grands also went through a period of obsession with the Pout Pout Fish books By Deborah Diesen.
And I have to put a plug in for Chris Ferrie’s For Babies series which explains hard science topics (like Quantum Entanglement, Newtonian Mechanics, General Relativity, Organic Chemistry, AI, Pandemics) in terms that are understandable to 3 year olds.
Chris also has other books on other science topics
