I have watched both of my GDs by myself a few times. I usually bring the monitor speaker into my room so I could hear them. They slept through the night very early on and I also had very strict order from D1 that I wasn’t allowed to get them unless they were truly in distress. Knock on wood, I’ve never had to go to them in the middle of the night.
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DH and I will be at my family’s camp for 10 days since it’s our turn to close it up for the season. S2/DiL just texted to ask if “we would mind” if they made the 7 hr drive with their new baby and came too!! 8 days with them!!! GS is not even 4 months and I calmly said “if you are sure you want to try that so soon” and then I got off the phone and did the (very) happy dance!
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How exciting for you @greenbutton, time with your grandbaby is the best!
We went on a family ski trip last January when GD was only 3 months old. The drive to the Sierra was about 7 hours and the last hour was a full on snow storm. GD got a bit fussy just before they arrived at the Airbnb, but otherwise did great.
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I had a fun afternoon watching my three year old grandson. He was so happy to see me that he couldn’t sit down for his lunch. He loves running through the house. He was a giggling boy all afternoon. He has a genetic condition and has only been walking for 6 months and now he is running. It wasn’t clear if he would walk at all so it makes me so happy.
He has been on Dupixent for several months and his skin looks so good. He had his first shot of Xolair this week so hoping that works out and they don’t have to be so nervous when he’s around other kids. He is so allergic to some things that if someone eats something and he touches a surface they touched he can have a serious life threatening reaction.
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OK, I now know what the fair market value of my 3 grandkids is.
This afternoon on the way home from school today, I took them to Duck Donuts to get dessert donuts for tonight. Upon leaving the store one of the twins loudly demanded that she should get her donut NOW. Other kids joined in with the screaming and all of them refused to walk to the car. A random mother, who also in the parking lot, grabbed grandson as he darted out into the parking lot traffic. She then offered to trade one 15 year old with a drug problem for all 3 of my tantrum-throwing littles.
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It will be very interesting at the house tonight.
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We are in the air about to land soon to see the kids and the grands. Hard to believe the oldest grand is 9 now!!
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I am away this weekend and when GS learned this he asked grandma to come to his house and play today
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I adore my kids and grands, but their parenting styles are so different. Younger s is careful, they teach their kids to clean up and be careful with their things. Older son was trilled that I located an old rube-goldberg type coin bank he had as a kid and I carefully wrapped it up and brought it here. Their kids are careless and reckless with things and broke it in less than a day. Grrrrrrrr….
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Today, I watched the kids play on the Playscape DH and I made, in spite of the rain. It’s a bit funky, since we designed it as we built it
, but it is so sturdy. Even adults can swing!
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halfway thru a week w S2/DiL and our GS, barely three months. He’s been unusually cranky and sleepless and DiL was sorta detached from it all — she doesn’t hold him except to nurse, or supervise tummy time once a day. I’ve not seen her interact with him for more than 2 minutes otherwise. Like she’s afraid of him. S2 does all the diapers , puts baby down for naps, resettles him, and stays up w baby, she is reading a book. … I held my tongue and offered to walk baby as needed…and watched DiL drink a big coffee each morning. Which they assure me couldn’t possibly be part of the problem ( and I know it’s technically fine, I did not comment on it) but did decide today that it was worth a try to skip. My own son is exhausted and I hope this is not a fair representation of their daily life.
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Could she have post partum depression?
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I wonder that, but goodness how could I ever ask? I did ask my son if she was okay and he said yes, she’s just not feeling 100% (she has psoriasis and her hands are in a flare) and they didn’t bring her pump so she has no break from nursing? He howled in the car (hungry) and she just sat next to him and watched, not attempting anything by way of comfort? otoh, who vacations in backwoods New England with their in-laws and feels great? I thought of asking my nieces to check on her, but can’t decide if that is meddling.
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D1 had some health stuff this week that included an overnight in the ER Wednesday-- all is good now though.
We ended up getting a ton of GS time. We have seen him everyday this week and he spent Wednesday night at our house. Really glad we live close enough to help
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I don’t think it’s meddling. If your nieces are willing to check on her, it would be a good idea. I realize it puts you in a bad spot, because it could be taken like you don’t think she’s acting the way a mom should … but you are actually concerned for your DIL’s health. It’s a tough situation. I am so sorry.
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I watch my youngest grandson (2) every Friday. He is quite the chatterbox! Yesterday in the car he said “Grandma I am not a baby anymore”. Sigh, I guess not. It is amazing how fast they grow!
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You may want to talk with your son about seeking some help. I remember when I was going through postpartum after D2, my doctor said to me, “after giving birth, woman’s body goes through a lot of hormonal change. If you have been through some trauma or have some mental issues then the hormonal change can accentuate those issues.” He recommended a good therapist for me and also prescribed some medication for me. I was glad I was able to get the help I needed.
D1 also had postpartum after GD1. It was during Covid and it was a difficult birth. Her case was mild, but she did feel detached from GD1.
Your DIL may feel isolated and not have anyone to talk about what she is going through. Your son maybe the only she could trust, so I would encourage him to talk to her about how she is feeling, and get the necessary help she may need.
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If I remember correctly, @greenbutton DIL no longer has close family/parents alive.
@greenbutton your concern may be something or it may be nothing. It is out of concern, through observation. It could be a lot of things. If baby is settled and calm, maybe DIL is afraid to rock the boat by too much physical touch. She may be griefing or working through some thoughts about her own growing up/parents and now being a parent herself.
I wouldn’t put a label on her behavior (PP depression) to your son but nothing wrong in just briefly pointing out some observations and asking if he has noticed the same or if this is typical behavior.- or maybe the behavior is rooted in being with her in-laws for an extended period of time postpartum.
I did not have PPD but I remember LOSING IT once - probably 4-6 weeks after birth - when we went up to our cottage and some other extended family members who were suppose to have left their stay at the cottage but we pulled in and they were still there. The cottage was teeny tiny and I broke in tears - how was I going to nurse my new baby with these people around?!! I did not need more voices or bodies or noises in my space! This was suppose to be a break and now it is a big problem for me!!! It was “sort of” a small thing but to me at that moment it was HUGE. (Also how rude of these family members! Why we eventually stopped allowing others to stay there - can no one follow rules?!!)
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My friend hand/skin problems. She was a nurse so had to wash her hands a million times at work, so at home her husband did the diapers and anything else he could so she could avoid one more handwashing.
I hope she starts enjoying her baby more. Maybe she is just exhausted and waiting for him to become more inter-active. Some people fine newborns boring and like children better when they develop personalities.
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@greenbutton ~ I don’t have any additional advice, but wanted to say that your S, DIL, and precious baby are blessed to have your love.
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