@Knowstuff – yes, distraction is my friend right now!!!
After DS headed off to college (2000 miles away) in 2010, I closed the door to his bedroom. I left it closed for many weeks… it was just too hard to see it empty. And darn, when the washing machine changed cycles it sounded like the garage door opener, tricking my autopilot into thinking CO_kid was home for the night. Over time it did get easier. These days I kick myself for not nagging more about de-cluttering his room.
My daughter is doing great!! She’s making friends, enjoying the food, having a wonderful time. She bought a goldfish yesterday to celebrate the first day of classes. And she calls/ texts just enough that we know all that.
I do OK once my D is gone for awhile, but it will be hard once again next week when she flies to Italy for the semester. Especially since she’s grown up a lot this past year and is more helpful and cheerful around the house! She’s been a lifesaver with the puppy! She’s not the kind to stay in close touch when she’s gone - that’s the hardest part for me.
We got home today from dropping my daughter off 10 hours away. I sat down on the floor with with the dog (HER dog) so we could console each other and discovered a big tumor on her belly. Ugh. I am hoping it is just a benign fatty tumor, but geez–what awful timing. This dog can NOT die on my watch. My daughter would be devastated.
I did manage to buy groceries without weeping, thanks to my decision ahead of time to skip the aisle with the shelf-stable chocolate milk–one of her staples, and the only one that no one else in the family will touch. That might be the most valuable tip I’ve ever gleaned from CC!
Sorry to hear about your pup, @planit. 
@MaineLonghorn - I agree it seems harder when they’ve outgrown their meanness. Freshman and sophomore year we were ready for her to go but this summer she was so nice!
@Buster21 That’s where I am now. Would love to drop off youngest now to be free of hormonal meanness. Hope it disappears soon!
For my kids, 20 or 21 seemed to be the age when they became bearable.
@MaineLonghorn Say it ain’t so!!! :((
Both my kids were their most challenging at 19/20/21. It’s that “I’m an adult and I know it all and I know better than you” thing and they think they are so independent even when they’re still TOTALLY dependent on you financially. 
For us, the teen years were pretty easy. We’re coming around the bend though as once they launch into self-supporting, it’s a humbling experience, they become more aware, and less self-focused, IMO.
At our house 20 years 8 months is the sweet spot! Her room is still a disaster but the attitude is sooo much better.
Just dropped S2 off yesterday at, what I think, is just an inredible school where he is completely with his tribe. He will go through an orientation period of about 5 days, so I have no doubt he will be well acclimated by next week when classes begin. He did great until we left, and then cried. Broke my heart to see my boy cry. Held him and told him he has his wings, now go soar. Got in the car, watched him walk back in his dorm, and then cried my eyes out for about 10 mins. on the drive home.
Then, 8:30 pm, I get a text message…“I’m so happy”. That was all I needed to go to sleep. And, the happy texts have continued today. I know he’ll have his rough patches, but at least it’s been a great beginning.
Wishing good luck to everyone’s kids!!!
So if you want to indulge in your emotions for a few minutes (read: have tissues handy!) I highly recommend 93 Million Miles by Jason Mraz. I heard him interviewed and he said he wrote it in honor of his parents who supported his decision to explore his dream to be a creative artist.
Wow it’s nice to know I am not alone in my “wallowing” over here. I just dropped my son off this past weekend. Was not sad during the entire trip, not even on the plane ride home. I was caught up in his enthusiasm and excitement. He hugged me so hard when I left but no tears from either of us. I got home, my husband told me that his younger brother cried every single day. My little one confirmed this. Still I was feeling good. Yesterday I finally decided to go into my older son’s room to start cleaning up. As soon as I walked in I was overcome with emotion. I broke down crying. That was the trigger that made me realize, he’s really gone. His room felt hollow. All the little things he did that I was used to would no longer be happening. As I started to gather items to ship and throw away things he left behind that he won’t need, I felt this ache in my heart. I never really understood the feeling of “cutting the cord and letting them fly” but yesterday was the day it really hit me. We can’t just meet up over the weekend and have lunch. He’s 3000 miles away. Today I made sure to ship everything that needed to go and start rearranging the room into something that will remind me less about him being away. My son has been texting us everyday. He loves his school, his advisor and the people he’s met. I am trying to feed off his energy but it’s only been a couple of days and I can’t seem to shake the doldrums yet. I don’t understand how on the one hand I am so incredibly happy for him and on another hand I am sad about him being away. This gets easier over time right?
It is very hard. Drop off for us was Monday. The next few days will be even harder, since we had been able to check in each day through Facetime (although the wi-fi in his dorm is surprisingly bad), but tonight through Sunday afternoon he will be on a backpacking trip in the mountains, with zero communication with the outside world! It seems like a really long time until Sunday! But he will be making some cool memories, and I imagine that spending all those days in the woods with other kids will be quite the “bonding” experience!
It is the finality of college drop offs that does it for me. They are truly gone sure they may be back, but if all goes as planned they WILL NEVER move back home again and that is what got and will get me again.
The closing of the book! People say it is a chapter, but the relationship so fundamentally changes once they grow up, out, and away imo. Still your kids, still the parent, still the source of $$$, but the parent role is diminished and will continue to diminish (as it should) and that is hard.
In some (many) cultures kids don’t never leave the way we allow/want our kids to be independent. And in decades/centuries past even fewer kids flew the coop in the same way. Yes, set up their own home but typically not far away. Almost always same village or city. So, no wonder it’s hard. I think it’s still in our DNA to keep our children close. Anyway, my musings for the day, for what it’s worth.
It does get easier, but it takes a while. With my oldest, I felt even worse after he was home and left at the end of winter break. That’s when it really hit me that he would always always leave no matter how long his visits home might be. He was just back for a week recently, between grad school and a new job, and it’s still painful to go in his room. Our “family room life” has adjusted with each kid leaving but going in their rooms… yikes. It’s still very emotional for me. And of course their rooms are still frozen in time, as they left them - minus the vacuuming and dusting and minor tidying I do after they leave.
ack – my post above should have read “don’t ever leave” not the double negative “don’t never,” lol. Long day and can’t type!