@psychmomma I felt the same way. Despite being a very emotional person who cries at commercials, I somehow held it together last year when saying goodbye to dd, our oldest, even though she is 3000 miles away. It wasn’t until returned after a very long winter break that I really experienced a sense of loss. I think part of it was that she wasn’t around much the summer before she left for college, and when she was home, she’d be holed up in her room. Yet when she returned home for Christmas, I think she was so happy to be home that she actually hung out with us a lot, chatting with us, hanging out in the family room watching TV with us, etc. I really enjoyed her company and seemed to miss her more when she left for second semester. She has yet to leave for sophomore year (she leaves on Labor Day) and I have a feeling our goodbye is going to be harder for me this year than it was when she was a freshman.
I love this thread - reading it has been therapeutic. In our case we just became empty nesters, going from four to two as our twins were dropped off one day apart late last week. I figured I would be supporting my wife as she navigated the separation, only to realize I needed as much support as she does. It didn’t help that my father passed away two months earlier, while we were beginning preparations to celebrate his 85th birthday (we lost my mom a few years prior).
The house feels large and empty, I haven’t yet gone into their rooms, and I keep staring at the gallon of milk in the fridge, wondering why it’s still full. I’ll have to eat more cereal or it’s going down the drain soon. Maybe I’ll let it go sour and keep it around as a reminder of how much I miss them. Is that how you make cottage cheese? Yuck.
The good news is that they’re both doing well and aren’t far away. One school has a Family Day in the middle of September - my wife had already registered us for it not 20 minutes after we left her campus to head home. She was paired with a great roommate, and they live in an old mansion - their dorm room is huge. She’s enjoying new experiences, like ordering Chinese food and pizza. One of them knew to tip the delivery person - amazing what you never think about when it seems so obvious.
The other one is enough like me that I worry she will experience the same growing pains that I went through. But she likes the campus and her classes, and she’s putting herself out there - which is all I can ask. She’s close enough to run up there and take her out to lunch or shopping if she, or we, need it. I’m guessing a daily text and an occasional call will be enough though.
I haven’t really thought much about the fact that they have never been apart from each other, since birth, for more than a week. They may miss each other a lot, sharing a bond that’s different from the parent-child ones we hold. Hopefully they’ll connect via cell or Skype with their high school friend group and be their for each other.
While I’m thrilled that they seem to be on a good path so far, I miss them dearly. I’m looking forward to our time together, where I can hear about their new experiences and be the annoying, embarrassing father I play so well. Mostly I miss the hugs.
“I keep staring at the gallon of milk in the fridge, wondering why it’s still full.”
So true! It’s funny how it’s often the little things. We now buy only a 1/2 gallon and it still often spoils before it gets used.
For us it was bananas which only my husband and D eat in our family. So last week a number went bad (well, he froze them for smoothies) and I told him “You’re going to have to buy fewer now.”
Near end of week 2 and I’m doing better. Work has gotten busier with end of summer here. S started school, finding new routines. Need to make more plans for Labor Day weekend so I don’t have time to mope!
Dropped off kid 2 yesterday. It was like 85 degrees and no air conditioning in his apartment. His roommate comes Saturday. We wanted to get an air conditioner and he said no. Really just through next week then the temp drops. Did I mention how hot it was???.. After unpacking and helping him with the bed the temperature dropped and really cooled off nicely… That was a huge relief for my wife and I. The next few days till Tuesday he hopefully will go to the community center building like 20 yards away to be on his computer, study etc. Till it cools down. He likes to study in his room. This is a university apartment. He also is active with a club he helped start and they have a few events they are putting on in the next few days to keep him busy. He is a sophomore. It gets easier to say goodbye. We took him shopping for food and like he didn’t know what to get. His fridge is pretty bare now. He does have enough cereal to last in case of a world war so I think we are good…he is on a limited meal plan this year since he had an unlimited last year and really didn’t use it as much as he thought he would. He doesn’t eat breakfast early but will eat cereal if classes start later. He missed dinner on certain days do to his work schedule and seemed to survive. He actually lost 15-20 lbs of needed weight. He looked great and then gained some of this back this summer. The workout facility is only a block away so hopefully he will check that out. See… These are the things I am worried about this year. Also new roommate. Last year it was just a cordial experience. He was disappointed even if he didn’t tell us. It was obvious. The roommate had friends on-campus and even though they met prior in our city and got along well like the first-day the roommate was off with his friend’s and didn’t invite my son. They did go to the football games together for awhile.
This year my son actually reached out to the new roommate and things already seemed to be improved. Having an apartment and not knowing what some one else is bringing helps get the conversation going. Since we have no problem getting whatever…" Like dude you bringing the toilet brush or me" . Lol… Just hope one of them used it!!!
He gives us hugs with no problem now when saying goodbye. Last year was like saying goodbye in the car but like fist pump when everyone’s looking…
Same with the milk! 
I often use the first month the house empties to also clear out the refrig and freezer of all the extra food we seem to have when kids are home. Makes up for the higher grocery bills when they are home!
Being at work is definitely a good distraction! I hear from my daughter more when she’s tired, frustrated, or angry and less when things are going well, which I know is fairly typical. I’ll be seeing her in about 4 weeks as I have business out near her school - hurray! My husband and I fly out to see her perform the third weekend of October, and then we’ll fly her home for a short visit over Thanksgiving. Going in her room doesn’t set me off quite so much like it did when we first moved her out, so I think I am starting to adjust to the new normal.
Someone mentioned that families haven’t always lived apart. My husband and I intend to live relatively near our daughter once she settles down somewhere. Not next door, lol, but a reasonable drive as opposed to a plane flight. She’s currently open to that and grew up having both sets of grandparents either very close or relatively close by, so she saw the benefits of it.
Well I am just tired. We packed the car Tuesday. Drove from Chicago to Ann Arbor Michigan and started up packing in a 90 degree apartment. Had to go another 45 minutes away to my brother in laws to get a futon. Back to Ann arbor. Did some shopping. . Had dinner. Helped a bit more unpacking… We were going to stay with my mother… Another 50 minutes in the wrong direction so at 8:00pm my wife had energy and we drove back to Chicago… I have to work today but going in later as planned. We were going to come back this morning…
Now I am going to get my dog that was boarded. Guarantee you he will be happy to see me… The kids are on their own now but not my dog 
I’m emptying the fridge and freezer, too. S had particular foods that we will finish up before I restock. Lots of veggie burgers in our future lol.
I’m cleaning, boxing and reorganizing oldest S’s room today. Oh my goodness. He’s been out of college 4 years, and his room has become the dumping ground for unneeded things from his various apartments the past 4 years. He’s far far away now, with zero likelihood of ever needing most of this stuff again. He told me to just reintegrate it into our house. I sent youngest S with as much as I could but the rest needs to be donated I think.
Today I’m enjoying being in his room. Glad the sobbing phase is over (for this S).
Another word of advice from someone with a small amount of experience… It’s time to think about you. We all have some weight to lose etc. Last year this was the time I started running and attempting to work out again. Much harder at 57 then it was at 37 is all I gotta say 
Find something you wanted to do but didn’t have the time and then go for it.
@psychmomma - We just threw out a bunch of D’s fake “chicken”. After we dropped the kid at the airport we went to get BBQ, real meat is back at our house
@Buster21 - yep!! I made the fake fish fillets last night! Still have a little fake chicken, too. Both sons are vegetarians. Once they leave, we start sneaking meat back into our meals. I made ribs the next night after drop off.
@TheGreyKing Same. D18 is off the grid on a lake in the woods. :(( I can’t decide whether to keep her bedroom door open or close it and pretend she’s behind it studying.
I hear you, @Meddy ! At least there is no rain in the forecast, so our Massachusetts hikers will stay dry!
One way I fixed the dinner table, was I rearranged the table for 4 to be a table for three, and took my S1’s seat and thus I was not looking at his empty dinner seat at the table, for some reason that helped me a lot to not get too overwhelmed with his absence at the dinner table, the first year.