Throughout my high school years, I’ve been incredibly blessed with my friends, a good education (okay, minus APUSH), and my family. I have a strong work ethic and decent grades, but they aren’t as stellar as others. As a junior, I have almost no idea of what I want to be when I grow up and where to go for college, although I’m planning to major in biomedical engineering to soothe my parents’ worries about my future.
I know the clock ticking. I know college applications and acceptance/rejection letters are in my near future. I know, realistically, that I most likely won’t go to an Ivy League school. This idea of failure, of going to a mediocre school, of being unsatisfied with my major, of disappointing my friends and family, has been creeping up on me, and it’s been bothering me. It’s almost made me somewhat apathetic and indifferent, like I have no purpose. Is anyone else in the same boat? How should I go about my future? Any responses would be appreciated.
A failure because you didn’t get into one of 8 colleges (that comprise a sports league) out of the thousands of colleges in the US? And woe – how did the millions of people who didn’t (or had no interest in, or couldn’t afford, or for a long time weren’t allowed due to gender or skin color) go to Ivies drag themselves out of bed in the morning and put one foot in front of the other?
Snap out of it. What your friends think means less than zero. And if your parents are on the Ivy or bust train, just make sure you spend time picking matches and safeties that are affordable and you would like to attend. And that have majors that interest you beyond the one your parents prefer (just in case).
@intparent What I meant by failure is not just about the Ivy Leagues, but the overall premise that I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I don’t want my friends or my family to worry about me. Like I said, I am incredibly blessed, and I know that others have gone through worse and sacrificed so much more than I have, but what you’re saying is just a red herring. I am simply talking about my own future, and about what I should go about moving forward. I’m sorry if my post sounded like it was for pity or if it sounded condescending, almost demeaning others who have gone through so much more in the past to get to where we are now, but I just wanted advice. And yeah, I’ll definitely spend time picking matches and safeties. Thanks for the response.
I think it’s fine to have all those feelings … heck, I’m 51 and I still feel that way sometimes!
You have to adjust your expectations. For a lot of kids it’s Ivy or bust, and that’s just not realistic given the low acceptance rates for everyone. It’s okay to not know what you want to do. My junior only recently decided on her goals, but I’ve told her that could change and if it does that’s okay. Go to a university that’s big enough so you don’t necessarily have to transfer if your interests change.
Do you have any kind of career mentorship at your school? At ours, it matches you with someone in the community and you job shadow for 18 hours. Kind of neat, and it gives you a taste of what you think you want. Plenty of kids decided their mentorship experience was NOT what they wanted to do for the rest of their lives. There are also some online sources that will use your interests and answers and suggest a few career paths for you; your guidance office might know more.
You have to believe in yourself enough to make decisions for YOU, not friends and family. It’s a tall order for a lot of people, let alone a 16/17 year old with not a lot of life experience. But this is your life.
My kids have both ended up on career paths they wouldn’t have guessed going into college. One graduated with a degree in Poli Sci & Public Policy – and she works successfully as a consultant for a company that does higher education consulting. The other bounced back & forth between Physics and CS majors, and is headed to grad school in physics – but her field of research interest is more like Materials Science than anything else.
Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. There is no need to know what you are going to do right now. And those people around you who claim to have figured it out? Many of them won’t end up at all where they thought they would at age 16/17. Going to college is partly about trying some new things while you are there. It would be a little sad to plan so completely that you aren’t open to the options that will open up to you in college. Stop worrying about Ivies & fully defining your path.
If the idea that attending what you consider a “mediocre” school is your definition of failure, then my suggestion is to do everything you can from this day forward to get to the Ivy League. What response did you expect?
