@doschicos , I don’t know what part you are referring to. The daughter was kicked out, or asked to leave in 12 hours. Obviously there is an issue, I am just stating that coddling the student may not be the most prudent thing to do.
" Obviously there is an issue… "
And it’s pervasive with all teenagers. It’s called an underdeveloped frontal lobe. You’re welcome. 
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@PhotographerMom, Nobody is saying it isn’t normal for some teens to lack maturity. We don’t really know what OP’s daughter did – it could be something fairly benign like hanging out in the quad with a boy after curfew – but I don’t think that necessarily matters. If there was repeated rule breaking, that might. I wouldn’t send a student overseas until I was confident they had the maturity to keep themselves out of trouble.
You can call it whatever you want and brush it off like it’s not important, but to elite boarding schools and colleges that have their pick of applicants it may make a difference. I think OP is smart to call schools to see if they’d consider his daughter. The closer she is to college age, the more this may weigh on her application.
I thought she was looking at ALL possibilities, public, private day schools in the Boston area, and other boarding schools, repeating a grade, graduating early, homeschooling. It seems like she’s not getting a lot of positive responses from the boarding schools about transferring as a senior.
Just pointing out that if playing sports is a priority (and maybe it isn’t at this point as just getting into a school is what’s important now), this should be considered for the option of repeating 11th grade and wanting to play for two more years. If the school allows it, great. If the student wants to play in college, the NCAA will not allow the courses from the 5th year to be counted as qualifiers (may not be needed anyway if the student has the right courses from years 1-4).
The Impossible happened: Expulsion.
Why did OP think this was impossible?
Brimmer and May?
I think the OP called it “the impossible” because in reality how many of us actually think something like this would happen to our child. It’s not something they advertise or publish when you start down this path. Sure, we have all had the many talks about the right and wrong things to do when our children are away, but how long did you or your family spend on this topic? Probably not tons.
Back to the question at hand - if I were in this situation and my child was pretty late in their high school career, I would likely do one of the following, and in this order.
1 - have my child return to the public school. And I say return as that’s where my child went before high school and this may not be a good option for a student who has never gone to public school. The public school in my town is fine, not stellar, but fine. This may not be an option for the OP depending on the town. Cost may not be a factor for some, but for me it is and this cost is $0. Opportunity cost is another thing all together and would my child be limited in terms of college acceptances, maybe??
2 - depending on the issues my child had at school, I might want him or her around so I know more about what’s going on and mentor him or her. In that case, I would rent a house in a surrounding town with school district that meets my expectations. I would use MCAS results as my guide when I search for the right school. Cost is about $20,000 to rent the smallest apartment feasible.
3 - send my child to a day school in the greater Boston area. I would pay close attention to the success of the school’s students as my options this late in the game may be limited and a good public school MIGHT have better outcomes. I haven’t researched costs near Boston, but an independent day school near me (about an hour away from Boston) would be about $35,000.
4 - identify another boarding school for my student. This is fourth on my list as I feel like my child would not have enough time to really become part of another 24X7X365 (well…not 365 of course) community. Cost benefit analysis doesn’t work out for me on this option. Cost would be $50,000-$60,000.
5 - finish at an online school. Coming from such an involved community, I feel it would be difficult for most boarding school students to adapt to an environment like this. I have no idea of the cost…
6 - enroll at a community college student in dual enrollment. I’m a champion of community colleges (heck my life’s work is at one); however, Massachusetts is well behind most states in promoting dual enrollment so the path would be cumbersome. That’s why this option is last for me.
We identified another option: get a GED and apply to a local college or take classes through this Continuing Ed program, then essentially apply to a college of choice as a transfer. Mass requires you not be enrolled at a school so we’ve obtained a letter stating she is no longer enrolled.
She was taking mostly AP courses so we’re not sure repeating 11th grade will be worthwhile. We are speaking to contacts in Admissions at both prep schools and colleges to get their advice.
We may engage a consultant because we’re now behind in the college application process regardless of school choice.
Someone here suggested looking at the SSAT website, which lists schools with open seats by term of entry in our case Fall 2017). You can search by grade, by single sex or Coed, by boarding or day, and by location. This has been our best resource to find all possible schools, so much appreciated.
Don’t have her graduate early and take cc classes. Cc as dual enrollment doesn’t jeopardize her freshman status whereas taking cc classes as a high school graduate does. It’s much harder to get into selective universities as a transfer than as a freshman and transfers get lousy aid, not to mention hardly anything in merit scholarships if they can even apply to some.
If necessary, enroll her as homeschooled and dual enrolled at one of the many 4-year universities in Boston as well as cc’s. It’s also called concurrent enrollment.
MYOS1634, thank you, that’s something else to consider.
Agree with @MYOS1634.
I’m usually a “do it yourself” type person for various reasons but in your situation I would definitely be looking for advice from a really good consultant.
@sgopla2 wrote:
“Do you still have to pay next years tuition at the boarding school that expelled your daughter? I thought that if the child gets expelled between years you are not responsible for tuition?”
As far as I know at most schools even if you are expelled at mid-term, you do not receive payment credit for the remainder if the school year.
But for a new school year, there is usually some kind of “Enrollment Agreement” that includes a payment of anywhere from $500 to several thousand dollars to insure a seat for the following school year. You lose that but nothing else. Don’t expect a “Thank you.”
Learned a new term, “Tuition Melt.” When schools require the first substantial tuition payment ( generally sometime over the summer) kids drop their slot for any number of reasons (changed family finances, they get a call off the waiting list from another school they prefer). This creates a few openings that most schools try to fill off their waiting list. But as many of those kids have also made commitments, or required financial aid may not be available, so there is “Waiting List melt” as well.
One unexpected result is that her younger brother and sister, having seen just how beat-up their older sister is by this whole chain of events, are resolved to remain at their public/charter schools.
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Understandably so. It reminds me that elite Boarding Schools are not for the faint of heart. You gotta be willing to take a lot. These schools have lots of rules and they can take and expel anyone at any time for the most part. They are private clubs, I mean schools.
Summer melt is also a term widely used at colleges so remember that a few years from now.
Suggestion for the homeschool/dual enrollment route…
Look at your state’s HS graduation requirements. Then tally up her courses to see where she is with those requirements and what courses she needs to fulfill state requirements for graduation. Take those classes as Dual Enrollment at a community college (or college). There are many kids doing this now, especially in certain geographical areas. Colleges are familiar with it. Just be sure the classes will be viewed as “rigorous”, as she will have to submit her current schedule when doing college applications.
If she has already completed all the requirements, she could just take some interesting courses, or take a gap year, do community service, work, etc. In most states, a GED is not required and sometimes it has negative value (ie, perception of HS dropout). There are many reasons that kids drop out of BS…cost, grades, discipline, etc. I don’t know what she did, but I agree with others that the kids in public and day schools are doing the same stuff with no consequences.
I think this is the most rational option for you, and one that also will not break the bank. Start looking now at community or local regular colleges, see what you need to do to apply, and ensure she can be ready to start by Aug/Sept. And, focus on the college search concurrently.
Can she return to Boston Latin? I’d think that would be the best choice for her education as she’d then have 2 schools rather than 3 on her transcripts, she knows the system, she’d know some kids from her earlier time there. I realize that’s not what she wants to do, but times are tough.
Home/Dual enrollment kids get into great colleges - FYI. But she’d have to buckle down, pursue a passion, and turn it into a good story about learning and resilience. Colleges are looking for resilient kids…so this could work…but you have to be creative about putting together a program for her. You can use college courses, coursera, etc. If she already has state requirements, then she could take a bunch of stuff in her area of interest.
@Garandman if you end up looking into accredited online HS for any reason (either for a full load or to just cherry-pick classes for a homeschooling program), look into Dwight Global. It’s the cloud campus for The Dwight School in Manhattan and one of the principal people involved in developing the program was the founder of Stanford Online HS. Dwight offers several AP and IB classes online. I’ve heard plenty of great things and their matriculation list is top-notch.
Best of luck to your family.
We inquired about returning to Boston Latin (while we are attempting to liberate her grade 7-9 transcript. Hostage crisis, day 17). They literally laughed. But supposedly tomorrow we will be able to pick her transcript up.
We’ve started visiting colleges while interviewing at schools at the same time. She is pretty intent on progressing to 12th grade. And having taken mostly AP courses last year, it probably doesn’t make much sense educationally.
This is a really tough situation. If it were my daughter I would do the following:
- Immediately call her coach, a favorite teacher, counselor etc and ask them to make a personal call. Come clean with what she did and she if they can get her in the back door of another boarding/private school as a day student. It really depends on what she did.
- Look at her areas of specialization. Does it make sense for her to take courses online or at a local university. B’s at any school including boarding are just not that impressive to me ( and I know these highly ranked places). But if she was underachieving and can raise the bar by working harder, she might be able to do some impressive things educationally including early college.
- I would not allow her to “write this off” if the offenses were serious. She has wasted a lot of money ( yours or someone else’s) and a golden opportunity. Then again, I think you have bought into the idea that boarding school is better than public other options. In some cases, it really isn’t.
- The public school does not sound like an option. I would rent a place in the best school system and send her there. Let her play sports and make her do community service. While she might not completely fit in and it will be tough when she applies to college it won’t look as strange as a jump from a Latin, to a great BS to a poorly rated public school.
- Work on her merits. If she is good in sports make sure she is great. If she is into math improve the scores. She is going to need to be outstanding in some area to overcome the blip. Hard not to see.
- I would not suggest year abroad. This type of education is best for those who are very very mature.
- The right counselor could make a world of difference. I remember for one Ivy ( small) an alumni made a call to tell admissions that I had extenuating family circumstances. ( No expulsions or B’s but they gave me a push I needed).
Good luck