None of the schools with openings (and some that don’t but went out of their way to listen or help) consider what happened to be even the slightest obstacle to admission, if you catch my drift. Admissions Officers have stated she “owns” her transgressions.
She already has most of the academic references she needs.
“Then again, I think you have bought into the idea that boarding is better than Public other options. In some cases, it really isn’t.” You missed the part where her siblings are at a [public] charter school and [public] exam school.
We’ve gotten advice from a number of folks to sham an apartment in another town so she can attend there. We know families who live in the suburbs but work in Boston, and rent an apartment in Boston so their kid can attend BLS. In fact, it is rumored that there are “boarding houses” for this very purpose.
What would we be teaching her by holding her accountable for breaking school rules, then finessing residency laws to send her to a suburban high school? Not happening.
I have to say that I admire the OP’s attitude, at least insofar as it comes across from the postings.
“None of the schools … consider what happened to be even the slightest obstacle to admission,”
If I had given a school well over $100,000 for two years of tuition and costs, only to have my child effectively expelled for a transgression that no other school considers even the “slightest” obstacle to admission, I would be LIVID!!
Best of luck to the OP and student in whatever path forward they take.
Students are just kids, but when some of these tony prep schools talk to you, they make you feel like a pariah. I also applaud @Garandman for working through a difficult situation with such grace IMHO.
“If I had given a school well over $100,000 for two years of tuition and costs, only to have my child effectively expelled for a transgression that no other school considers even the “slightest” obstacle to admission, I would be LIVID!!”
Guess I should qualify that by saying that most of the schools approached have expressed they are not in a position to take a new 11th grader right now, let alone 12th grader. If they were, who knows if they would be as sympathetic or receptive. They might just be being nice…
Definitely not “livid.” Deeply, deeply disappointed would be more accurate. What my feelings are do not help my daughter, and that’s my job, so we drive on.
We told her we probably wouldn’t know her path until Labor Day. Lots of people are on vacation so nothing moves quickly, and that will probably remain the case for weeks.
These schools are out of control: punishing kids for things that would be a parent/child issue most places. How can kids of 13-18 grow and make mistakes (assuming they arent of a legal nature) and learn to move forward with grace and growing maturity of they are risk of getting expelled for arbitrary infractions. I understand that the schools retain that power via their cotracts but it doesnt make it right.
The issue though, @center, is that the school is acting as the parent. Residential high schools have little choice. Protecting students is a priority. You may not care if your 15 year old is sexually active. I may care if mine is. The rules will likely forbid it for all.
If something happens to a kid who is off campus, the school will be the first asked to answer for it, so repeated violations of whereabouts rules are a problem for the school.
Peer pressure is strong at this age, so the schools can’t be wobbly in their enforcement. I agree with @NEPatsGirl - inform yourself, inform your kid, and decide if this is a good option for your family. If not, pass.
Be careful if you intend to rent an apartment as a “sham” for residency purposes. Some school districts are clamping down on this. They may do spot checks to see if the sham apartment is occupied or not. This happens frequently in NJ, and the article below explains what can happen if you get caught:
I feel for the situation you find yourself in. It is unfortunate that she has put herself into this position. Young adults do not have the benefit of experience and years to know the full ramifications of their actions.
It sounds like you are doing exactly what you have to do. Calling to see who will take applications for a rising senior. If you are talking boarding school then it opens a whole lot of schools for you because she can go far away. You are not limited to a school where you have to drive her. Good luck with your search. I am sure you will find a great option and a school that is more understanding.
The economy must be good because most schools are very direct in stating there’s not going to be any slots. We’re trying to line up interviews anywhere that will chat, with the hope that a slot opens up later this summer.
Dealing with ETS is fun: they will only send SAT scores to secondary schools by mail, with quoted delivery of 4-6 weeks, and at $12.50 each.
Hasn’t your BS been able to provide you with resources to help you? Can you call her guidance counselor and ask him/her for ideas since your child still has no school?
Have you looked into applying for homeschooling, and once approved she could be dual enrolled at your local cc? (That too can take time: filing the paperwork and getting approved, finding a cc for dual enrollment).
How is she doing through it all? Carefree, angry, wracked by guilt?
What about focusing on girls’ schools and appealing to their sense of second chances as supporters of women. If women won’t support women, who will? I’d focus on Miss Porters or in the Boston area, Dana Hall. See if you can reach out to a couple administrators as well as admissions. There’s also a day school Montrose in Natick and of course Winsor.
If my strategy was to rent in a suburb for the purposes of going to a higher-ranked school, I would probably spend the entire week (Sunday night through Thursday night) actually in the apartment so it would not be a sham. I understand this might present challenges for the family and especially if there are siblings involved; but, tough times call for tough measures. And time’s a running short…
Where’s the Boston version of York Prep when you need it?
(York was where kids who got kicked out of other private schools seemed to wind up when I was a kid in NYC. It was the school known best for second or third chances and I had a couple of friends there.)
I still go back to the suburbs. Metrowest Boston has some of the best high schools in the nation. There are plenty of day schools but I think they’re super competitive.
Late response, but you might want to contact Newton South, Newton North, or Wellesley HS to see if you can pay tuition to send DD. I believe Brookline is overcrowded at this point and don’t have space. All of these schools will have the caliber academics you seek and not as far out as Weston.
In addition I want to take exception to an earlier comment about Macmillan Education being overpriced and agressive about selling you a big package. I have worked with them and they are very reasonably priced and do not have a hard sell at all. I highly recommend them for your situation.
Another school you may want to look at is Bard. They have “early college” that might be appropriate for your daughter. You can also look at BU Academy.
There’s a public high school in Maine near Orono where local families take boarders. Parents pay something like 26k for school+room/board and the upper level students are allowed to dual enroll for all their classes at UMaine.
We chose to live in Boston and a suburban high school for us has no appeal.
“Hasn’t your BS been able to provide you with resources to help you? Can you call her guidance counselor and ask him/her for ideas since your child still has no school.”
The school had a “team” approach. It was ineffective. There are a number of faculty members who have stepped forward on their own initiative, for which we are grateful. The school is, as a policy, cooperative in providing references so we have no complaints there.
We’ve hired a consultant, who is exceeding expectations.