So much discussion about emotional/physical needs in relationships. I know that as a post menopausal woman in my early sixties, what I miss most about getting older is the absolute slowdown of desire. My husband is the most wonderful partner in every way, but I know that my lack of unbridled enthusiasm in that area is disappointing. I’m in great health, not on any medications, but wondering if it’s common. How often are we supposed to be having it anyway lol?
Same here. Post menopausal, 56 and my libido has taken a drastic decline. In all honesty, my libido kicks in about once a month if that. It just seems a task, although I would never say or act like that. But I couldn’t care less about it…and it has absolutely nothing to do with him. I know it’s hormonal. When I was going through perimenopause, it was the opposite. It makes me sad. I talked to my doctor a few years back and she was going to have me try some external prescription stuff…but when you read about it, there is a slight chance of cancer so forget that.
How often is just individual. I’d say on the average after kids it was twice a week…but even then it was more than I needed. Now it just seems once a week. But I’m always willing…I think I need to initiate more after hearing the men talk.
I think what really made me reflect was hearing how much it meant to the men to be the one to initiate intimacy. Being willing and available is not the same as making your partner feel like they are desired.
I know.
Well, there is that “female viagra” …
Oh please don’t have this thread generate ads we don’t want to see on the website pages!!!
I guess it really is taboo…no one else chimed in. I find it hard to believe no one else feels this way.
Maybe it belongs on Ashley Madison? 
The women in older generation took hormonal replacements. Besides keeping ALL of their skin less dry, it helped libido. Too bad HRTs have CA as possible side effect.
That’s what keeps me away from them. Don’t know what Ashley Madison is.
At the risk of generalizing (which people are taking hits for on the other thread): One thing I’m not sure most men think about is how important it is to women to feel desirable. I know I (post menopause 50 something) can be turned off at suggestions that I’m not as hot as I used to be. Some guys may think they are motivating you to be healthier (or whatever) by doing this. H seems to think that him going to the gym should make me want to have sex with him more often. I guess that works for some people, but I’d honestly rather have him say something positive about me.
Ashley Madison- the extramarital affair cheaters website that was hacked http://www.techinsider.io/what-its-like-on-ashley-madison-2015-9
The little pink pill does not have FDA approval for post menopausal women as of yet. Haven’t checked into it yet but I’m not ruling it out. Might be fun
Well, not looking to hijack the thread but I doubt I’m the only 50 something woman with libido problems due to SSRIs. Currently trying new meds exactly for this reason.
Cardiac meds will do it, too. I hit menopause at exactly the same time as my heart attack. Double whammy.
I know it seems a little worse since I’ve been on the Toprol…but not much.
This is a topic I fear…I am not through menopause yet , and so far so good but i worry about what will happen in a few years
I had no issues in my 40’s, as a matter of fact there was a surge for a couple years…took me by surprise as much as my DH. I sort of understood then what it must be like to be a guy somewhat. I was initiating it regularly. But it was a slow decline the last 10 years to this. The thing is, why do we feel guilty? It’s not like it’s our fault. We can’t help it that our hormones have changed. So the Hubbies don’t care about the lack of desire…they just want to have it initiated…even if it’s “fake”. and if it never changes for us, then what hubbies!
Just found this thread. Not always on CC☹️ But I am glad to find it.
My desire has gone down drastically after menopause. I’m 62. In addition, it became very painful. I knew H still wanted sex regularly, so I put up with it. It became so bad I finally talked to my Doc. I now insert an estrogen tablet twice a week. She assured me it does not increase my risk of cancer. ( sure, haha) It does hhelp reduce the pain. But I still have no desire. But I know it is important to H. So we have sex, usually, several times a week.
To be truthful, I could care less if I ever had sex again. But I do enjoy cuddling. So we have worked out something where we are both satisfied. I love him rubbing my back and he enjoys my rubbing his…And then there is the rest, mostly desirable for him now a days.
When I was 49 and found out I was going through menopause, I was very, very, happy and it definitely recharged our sex life. Fertility had always been frighteningly abundant and it was really liberating when that fear went away. Also, being empty nesters gave us time to have fun together alone.
Since then, things have slowed down a bit but are still good. Neither of us expect it to be as good as it was 20 years ago though. I did go on HRT which might be helping. Having never been on the pill I have nothing to compare it to.