My sil has a sewing room. I’m kind of envious of it, even though I haven’t sewn in years. I’d love to have a dedicated art studio though, when I have more time again.
Yeah, why is it assumed by many that the man cave is off limits to anyone except the “man”??
If someonen is neglecting their family responsibilities I don’t care what room they are hanging out in, they need an attitude intervention!!!
This statement:" I think the idea of a man-cave just perpetuates this idea that “men need to relax after work,” while women are expected to continue working and child-rearing 24/7." What about the wife who insists she needs a bubble bath everynight? What does it matter where he relaxes after work? Doesn’t everyone deserve to relax after work a bit??
Thank you, @abasket!
Do some people on here seriously never want alone time after work (or even if they don’t work!)? I like time to decompress after work, and for me that does not include Mr. R. What is wrong with admitting that someone likes their own space?
And seriously, if a man (or woman!) is going to throw a fit because someone entered his/her “cave” then there are much, much bigger issues than a room…
I think of it as having a place where his male friends can come over to play cards and/or watch sports and belch and tell dirty jokes. I guess???
I think lots of women have sewing and/or craft rooms. Same idea, right?
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Yeah, why is it assumed by many that the man cave is off limits to anyone except the “man”??
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then why call it a man cave? Wouldn’t it be called a rec room or bonus room or ???
My husband has an indoor man cave and an outdoor man cave. I have sewing room, tech area and the whole garden. I guess it’s an even division.
We call our bonus room a man cave…I don’t know why, other than because it is a TV room with a sectional, surround sound, and kitchenette. But we all use it.
“Do some people on here seriously never want alone time after work (or even if they don’t work!)? I like time to decompress after work, and for me that does not include Mr. R. What is wrong with admitting that someone likes their own space”
I like my own space too! Maybe this is an introvert vs extrovert thing. I’m married to an extrovert, and he always likes us to all be together in the family room, whereas I’m content bring elsewhere by myself.
In your man cave you can man spread as much as you want.
“Man Cave” to me just means an area where someone - probably a man - can go to do the things he likes to do in an environment that is especially pleasing/relaxing to him - by himself or with others. Maybe sports. Maybe video games. Maybe action movies. Maybe he’s doing the NYTimes crossword puzzle! It will be set up to do the activities he likes best.
Just like the sewing room, craft room, sun porch, kitchen, etc. You would set those up to best do the thing the room is created for - sew, craft, enjoy the outside, cook, etc.!
I love that my H can go down to the TV room in the basement and shout all he wants about his college football teams (good or bad) play without my having to listen to it! Viva la man cave!!
A close male friend has an awesome “man cave” (he calls it by a different name) that has a jukebox and a bar. He goes there for his alone time.
I see nothing wrong with a “man cave” or with the desire to relax, decompress, and unwind after coming home from work. It is necessary for everyone to varying extents.
The expectation one should immediately start on chores or start jumping into family time without such decompressing is a bit of a pet peeve of mine as this has been an issue between me and parents growing up and yes…into early college years until I pushed back as such expectations to me meant they didn’t respect my time or my need to rest and recooperate after a long school/workday. Especially workdays lasting much longer than 8 hours during breaks/summers. When one works 10+ hours a day for 5+ days in a row*…it’s especially incumbent upon other members of the family/roommates…especially those who don’t work as many hours that it’s not reasonable to expect them to jump right into chores upon arriving home.
- One cousin got into a shouting match with his father one saturday evening because the father felt an hour of watching Cable News was too indulgent. Odd considering said cousin already worked 70-80 hours during the workweek and had just worked another 9.5 hours that saturday in an arduous stressful job and really needed to decompress. Don't know about you...but an hour of watching cable news upon coming home without being hassled isn't too much to ask after such a workweek.
This is very YMMV as I’ve known many siblings including youngest children who insisted on having their own bedrooms or when married “man/woman caves” because they hated having no private space of their own while growing up. Add to this the fact some had siblings who had little/no respect for their property(breaking/losing their stuff) and parents who were too overwhelmed or didn’t care enough to enforce proper boundaries regarding individual property(i.e. “You break it, you buy/replace it with same/better valued item.”).
On the flipside, I’ve known several only children who enjoyed sharing rooms with roommates because it was a novel experience or they were extreme extroverts who love being around people all the time.
Our basement has a shop area as well as a large finished space with a big TV and H’s football stuff. I’m not really a basement person, so it’s fine by me.
So I’m watching House Hunters, and this conversation actually took place:
(Looking at a huge master closet)Woman: “And MY closet!”
Fiance: “Your clothes will fit in that closet, but where will my clothes go?”
Woman “I really don’t care.”
Wow, I wanted to yell at the guy and say “Run! Run away now while you have the chance!”
My husband built himself a man cave of sorts, but the reality is, it is a grill area right outside our back door and it isn’t just for him. He had a roof to cover the area, which was larger than we expected but as it turns out, we can sit outside in any weather ( and frequently do during thunderstorms )
He has the built in grill, tiled countertops , wine fridge, and two smaller fridges we got from being Coca Cola venders and also a full refrigerator that somehow defies the odds of staying outside year round . And there is a flatscreen TV on the wall, which also survives the seasons.
It is pretty desirable part of our home to hang out. The only thing I dislike is that the sink is pretty small when it comes to washing dishes, but otherwise…his man cave is A ok
I love that that man cave is essentially a kitchen! (And it does sound wonderful.)
I think the man cave idea is what others have said, it is a space where the husband can set up the room the way he wants it and so forth. Among other things, it stops the kind of arguments about the battered old recliner that the guy loves from being in the living room, where there are big concerns about decor matching and such and so forth. I don’t really have a man cave, we aren’t like that, we do have a tv room that has the big tv, comfortable couch and some comfortable chairs, but it was the way my wife and I like it.
As far as people being isolated from each other, that seems to be a very modern way to live it seems. You look at these modern center hall colonial houses, the so called tract mansions, that have these great rooms with the kitchen/living room/rec room is all one giant space, and it seems like instead of people using them to come together, everyone is in seperate parts of these big houses, doing their thing. The floor plans claim to be there to allow socialization, but seem to do the opposite to me…so the man cave doesn’t surprise me.
@cobrat: I can understand wanting to decompress, I work a job like that, so coming home and being a couch potato is not a bad thing, but personally being around my family helped me decompress…but I can understand someone wanting to do it alone, to try and keep the stress from others, among other things. The only thing I don’t quite fathom is how watching cable news is a way to decompress, I watch the news and all I want to do is throw something at the screen! I generally either watch a ball game (if one is on), the oldy tv channel with schlocky programs from the 60’s and 70’s (known as We TV), or gearhead tv ie Velocity.
There is something like this that has existed for years, and that is with guys into model trains, the basement is often the domain of such things, and some of them are quite elaborate, where they have a ‘crew lounge’, the layouts are huge and so forth. These guys will often describe house hunting as looking for a train room with a house attached…
That relative is a bit of a current events/politics/international news junkie. It’s one area I can relate to as I also find watching/reading news on national/international events to be an interesting and yes…relaxing activity. It’s a diluted form of reading an interesting book to me and I presume to him as well.
Also, I can’t relate to folks who get so angered by something on the TV that they shout at it or otherwise feel the inclination to throw something at the TV. Makes no sense as the TV is just acting as an information conduit. Personally, I prefer to save up and express my anger directly at the individuals/groups responsible in person. 
And I do know family members and friends who do feel the way you do about watching things on TV they find strongly disagreeable. And yes…sometimes they went much further than you did and actually destroyed their TVs which angered them more whereas I’d be rolling my eyes/ROTFLOL as seeing someone acting like a real life Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam, or Daffy Duck after suffering another defeat at the hands of Bugs Bunny.