The Man Cave

Parent Cafe
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<p>Gents, let’s face it. The threads on this here forum have been taken over by the women-folk! The Sinner’s Alley serves up foo-foo drinks and is decorated with flamingos! The movie and book recommendation threads feature topics that make us think! And have little to no emphasis on explosions, really big guns, or flesh-eating zombies! Sports talk on here deals with gymnastics or (heaven forbid) soccer!</p>

<p>I say, ENOUGH! It is time for a place where men can be men, where the cheap whiskey and cheaper beer flows, where we spend hours discussing baseball statistics and football players who get back in the game with a broken leg! A place where we have large screen TVs that only show football, hockey, basketball and baseball games, or the occasional Steve McQueen movie. A place where we can take off our work-boots and scratch our socks, belch, burb, pass gas, and the only thing that happens is that the other patrons will laugh and compliment us for how bad the smell is! A place where we can celebrate being MEN!</p>

<p>I say, it is time to christen THE MAN CAVE!!!</p>

<p>The bar will only be 6 inches wide in the Man Cave (BOOOOO!)
But it will be a mile long! (YAAAAAAY!)</p>

<p>The beer will cost $1 in the Man Cave (BOOOO!)
But the whiskey is free! (YAAAAAY!)</p>

<p>We won’t serve steak in the Man Cave (BOOOOOO!)
Only wings served to us by Hooters girls! (YAAAAAY!)</p>

<p>There will be no discussion of sports in the Man Cave (BOOOO!)
Only loud arguments over our favorite teams will be allowed (YAAAAY!)</p>

<p>We will serve Pina Coladas in the Man Cave (BOOOO!)
But only to the Hooters girls bringing us more wings (YAAAAY!)</p>

<p>A few rules:</p>

<p>1) Manly topics only in the Man Cave. A sample list includes: sports, drinking, cigars, sports, movies with lots of death and destruction, cars, sports, our dogs, hunting, fishing, sports, and sports. Feel free to add to the list, but be prepared for a righteous wrath id the topic you bring up is too in touch with your feminine side.
2) Women are allowed on a provisional basis, and only if they can prove they are willing to deal with men being men. No chastising us for our rude behavior, flatulence, sloppy dress, and total lack of ability to express any emotion beyond an occasional sigh when our favorite team loses the Championship game on a bone-headed play in the last minute.
3) No political discussions in the Man Cave. The way a man votes is just between him and God.
4) Thick skins only in the Man Cave. We will all pick on each other like the chubby kid in elementary school. Its just the way men deal with each other.
5) Break the rules, buy a round! Simple as that.</p>

<p>Feel free to add more manly rules as you see fit. To get a new rule included, it must be seconded.</p>

<p>Now, let the testosterone flow freely. </p>

<p>Barkeep, a round of whiskey for my fellow men. First topic; what else do we need in the Man Cave (besides a urinal)…</p>

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<p>Thank You, Thank You.</p>

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<p>I was always told I was “one of the guys”. :slight_smile: How many women would allow their husbands to go deer hunting every year on their wedding anniversary! </p>

<p>you won’t have to put the seat down! Here’s some tequila! ;)</p>

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<p>You let your H go hunting on your anniversary? He has to ask permission? </p>

<p>Seat?</p>

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<p>hahah He never has to ask! I’m not his mother and he’s not my father. I don’t give him grief either…the other’s that go with him can’t say the same. After 27 years, it’s still working.</p>

<p>seat = toilet seat.</p>

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<p>OK, things we need in the Man Cave.</p>

<ul>
<li>Humidor</li>
<li>Poker table</li>
<li>The heads of some dead animals mounted on the wall (at least 3, with one of them being a bison)</li>
<li>A foot rest the length of the bar, made up from the barrels of Gatling guns and old pieces of steel from WWII Battleships</li>
<li>A picture of THE DUKE behind the bar, which will be toasted to NIGHTLY. If you have to ask who THE DUKE is, get out of the Man Cave now!</li>
<li>A picture of Sinatra across from the bar, perferrably in a plaid hat.</li>
<li>a shelf next to every urinal where we can rest our beer mugs when in use</li>
<li>a pool table, with only one working light bulb above it</li>
<li>Red Grange’s leather football helmet. </li>
<li>The bat Babe Ruth used when he “called his shot”</li>
</ul>

<p>Gents, other items needed?</p>

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<p>To THE DUKE!</p>

<p>OK, LaxMom, you can come in for now, but only if you can show us pictures of your living room that prove he has the prize deer mounted above the couch. Oh, and proof that he is allowed to hang the carcass in the back yard before he skins and dresses it. </p>

<p>Barkeep, whiskey for LongPrime and Laxmom!</p>

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<p>Have the 4-pointer (first buck) mounted and hanging on the wall in the living room along with S1 college diploma and cuckoo clock! Also have the pictures of the carcass hanging in the garage before “WE” skinned it. It was a family affair. Where do I send the pics??</p>

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<p>I want to know how you demonstrate flatulance in cyberspace. Are there new little pictograms? – like, *#^?</p>

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<p>laxmom, The family that butchers together, stay together. 'Nuff said, U’r in…</p>

<p>Veryhappy, we’ll just preface the post with “pull my finger”…</p>

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<p>

</p>

<p>At first I wasn’t sure what you were referring to. I guess men like to talk about SIZE!!!</p>

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<p>Normally I don’t explain such stuff, but can let you make your own>>>How about a bowl of once soaked chili?</p>

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<p>Some of the best times I had when I was kid was to “play catch” with my neighbor. Hours of just throwing and catching. We need a pitching alley and a short field.</p>

<p>No sissy drinks. How I hate sissy drinks.</p>

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<p>

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<p>Second. The Batting cage out back will use real pitchers, and will be long enough for some fielding practice. We’ll include tackle dummies out there as well for the football season.</p>

<p>soozie, mile long bar means no three deep crowds required. Everybody “bellies” up, with one foot up on the Gatling barrel footrest.</p>

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<p>No exclamation marks. You see a sentence with a ! and you know it’s a woman hyperventilating over a triviality.</p>

<p>If I see a seat down, I take a wizz without raising it.</p>

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<p>Sometimes, it gets real trying to explain.</p>

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<p>Won’t be required. There are plenty o’ urinals. I’m installing handles on the wall above as well for those times when you just need to really take your time.</p>

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<p>You boys need a driving range.</p>

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<p>Let’s not get too carried away on the amount of things we need that require us to participate in a physical activity. We’re fine just sitting around (perferrably in a Laz-e-boy) or belly up to the bar, talking about manly stuff. </p>

<p>Nothing wrong with coming back from a round of 18 to hit the Cave afterwards, especially if you got a funny story about who drove a cart into who.</p>

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<p>A must read for any married man or man considering marriage. I’ve forwarded this to many of my guy friends suffering from estrogen overload to share with their betrothed ones;</p>

<p>[Townhall.com::How</a> Wives Can Kill Their Marriage: Part One::By Doug Giles](<a href=“http://www.townhall.com/content/65ed8d46-9610-4ef7-96ee-f6215ac83936]Townhall.com::How”>http://www.townhall.com/content/65ed8d46-9610-4ef7-96ee-f6215ac83936)</p>

<p>[Townhall.com::How</a> Wives Can Kill Their Marriage: Part Two::By Doug Giles](<a href=“http://www.townhall.com/content/63b51ae2-4fc2-4d53-a34b-726f4964bd31]Townhall.com::How”>http://www.townhall.com/content/63b51ae2-4fc2-4d53-a34b-726f4964bd31)</p>

<p>[Townhall.com::How</a> Wives Can Kill Their Marriage: The Final Straw::By Doug Giles](<a href=“http://www.townhall.com/content/7a8a6211-c608-45c0-a9d6-da4e24d17b6e]Townhall.com::How”>http://www.townhall.com/content/7a8a6211-c608-45c0-a9d6-da4e24d17b6e)</p>

<p>Bookmark, save, and break in case of emergency.</p>