The media does a terrible time explaining (and covering) trans people. Especially the national media. It’s notorious for presenting certain elements that together constitute what’s often called the “trans drinking game”: “before” and “after” pictures; pictures of the trans woman putting on makeup; pictures of the trans woman putting on heels; emphasis on the physical aspects of transition, especially surgery (“she went into the operating room as a man; she came out a woman”); and on and on. The Jenner coverage has been better than most, frankly.
One does sometimes find stories in local media about trans women (and men) who happen to live in that area, and just present like “ordinary” men and women doing ordinary things, without any focus on the “glamor” aspects, although certain “drinking game” elements can still often be found. And of course even “ordinary” trans women have to be concerned with societal standards for gender presentation, even if they don’t personally care about them very much. Unless they enjoy being the objects of ridicule and insult and possible violence every time they go out in public.
But even on the national level, look at someone like Jennifer Finney Boylan (the author and English professor). She’s a perfectly presentable middle-aged woman, but her own writing, and the media coverage of her, tend to focus a lot more on what she thinks and what she does (as a writer, teacher, and activist) than what she looks like.
Imagine if an alien came here from another planet and their knowledge of human women came entirely from television shows about the Kardashians. That alien would probably not form a very favorable opinion, would they?
So please just remember: Caitlyn Jenner is one trans woman. One. She doesn’t represent, or claim to represent, anybody else. The best possible outcome is that the overall reaction to her transition, given her prior fame, will be more positive than not, and that any resulting increased acceptance of trans people in general will help other individual trans people, at least a little, by helping the non-trans people in their own lives more likely to accept them.
I wear make up and conform to certain other traditional female grooming conventions, but I don’t care whether other women do. For cis-women, it certainly has no effect on my perception of them as women.
I agree with Saintfan, however, that trans women face additional pressure to conform to feminine standards. Okay, true confession time, since this is an anonymous forum – Even though I am working to change this and I know that it is wrong, I have to admit that I unconsciously feel more comfortable around trans women that are feminine enough that the gender-sorting part of my brain automatically puts them in the “woman” category in my head. I can relax, forget that they are trans, and not be on guard regarding pronouns. I am working to change this, but I really do admit to having a slightly higher level of discomfort around very masculine looking trans women (discomfort that I don’t have around masculine cis-women at all). It is not a feeling of judgment or distaste toward the masculine trans woman at all; it is just more a sense of heightened alertness that I have to keep on my toes to remind myself that this person is a woman. I try not to let these feeling show but the other person must pick up on it at least a little bit.
I am confessing this because I think it demonstrates the unconscious pressure that trans women must feel to conform to gender norms above and beyond the pressure felt by masculine cis-women. I am not trying to justify my reaction; it is unconscious and I am working on fixing it.
I’m a progressive person who is totally in favor of transgender rights. If I have these residual feelings, I have to assume that others who are less sympathetic have these reactions even more strongly.
I think because of this residual feeling, my response to the Caitlyn Jenner photos included a tiny sense of relief, almost. A feeling like, okay, this is easy for me. The former Bruce is now Caitlyn, a woman. (I’m not suggesting that anyone should change the way they present themselves to suit my feelings, but I think the unconscious micro-reactions of others can translate as pressure on other people).
Serious q, CF. Did no one in your life (mother, older sister, etc) ever teach you those “stereotypically girly” things (like putting on makeup) and therefore you’re just fundamentally uncomfortable with them and see them as a mystery? Or do you feel fully comfortable that you would know how to do those things and just don’t care to?
OK, so in large part the media is creating this narrative. No matter what the trans woman is actually like, the media insists on heels and lipstick. So then this has little to do with trans women, and everything to do with the media’s conception of what womanhood entails.
This is true of trans women, as you say. But not only trans women. Not only trans women get misgendered. The fantastic Serena Williams just won the French Open, and as usual, her victory was accompanied by the usual claims that because she is big and strong, she’s a man.
“No matter what the trans woman is actually like, the media insists on heels and lipstick. So then this has little to do with trans women, and everything to do with the media’s conception of what womanhood entails.”
I for one rarely wear high heels - maybe a few times a year for special occasions. I typically wear lip gloss in a neutral color, not bright red lipstick, and it’s off the moment I eat or drink something. I haven’t noticed “the media” recalling my woman-card.
I haven’t noticed you being profiled in the media as a trans woman, Pizzagirl, so the media would never have cause to pull out the Man Transitions to be a Woman canned narrative and apply it to you.
What else do they want to do? They want to lead a life that follows suit with their desires. There isn’t a test that transgendered women must pass to demonstrate that they understand what it takes to be a woman, especially since cis-women don’t have to do the same. It’s not your job to check them and question their beliefs when it comes to womanhood and dub them worthy to be considered a woman in your eyes. What we’re seeing now is part of a process – Jenner growing into the woman that she desires to be. Thinking back to what I thought womanhood was when I was 16 compared to what I believe now – worlds apart. Did I wear too much makeup in the beginning months? Comically, yes. Did I indulge in heels when I wanted to go out on the town? Yes, but soon learned it wasn’t that fun. I grew into myself through experiences and emotional maturity. Jenner is growing into herself, as well, and she should be able to do so.
Sorry, but the fact you haven’t seen it in national media doesn’t mean Caitlyn represents all trans women or that there’s some mandate.
This “…and that any resulting increased acceptance of trans people in general will help other individual trans people, at least a little, by helping the non-trans people in their own lives more likely to accept them.”
We can’t get there with stereotypes. It behooves us, imo, to listen, not make assumptions or accusations. Or overly personalize this. We have lots to learn.
“I haven’t noticed you being profiled in the media as a trans woman, Pizzagirl, so the media would never have cause to pull out the Man Transitions to be a Woman canned narrative and apply it to you.”
Likewise, you haven’t been profiled in the media for being “not feminine” enough. Yet clearly it bothers you that someone might think of a woman who doesn’t wear makeup, has short hair, etc. as not being feminine. Since neither of us are on the cover of People magazine (thank god!) I can only conclude someone in your personal life makes you feel that way. So either you address it, or you tell that person to take a hike.
OMG the pale blue cream eye shadow I wore in 7th grade from my lids all the way up to my eyebrows. It still gets the occasional chuckle at holidays when the reminiscing starts.
@jym626 I think the Williams sisters and Michelle Obama posts are meant to demonstrate that even strong, powerful cis-women who are in the public eye sometimes endure hateful comments about their gender and appearance and enough people find it acceptable that it continues unchecked. I, too, have seen hateful Michelle comments wrapped up in the Caitlyn Jenner comment sections. It’s just very hard to “win” as a woman no matter what. Whatever you do people will attack you for not doing it right.
Thats just it, saintfan. Lots of well known people, for lots of reasons, endure hateful comments. This isn’t any different. Same song, different verse.