Oldmom, I think I may have mentioned once in another thread that I’ve never actually watched Transparent. Among other things, I lived through transition once myself (albeit beginning at an age 25 years less than the show’s 70-year old main character), and have had no interest in reliving it vicariously! So all I know about it is what other people – both trans and non-trans – have written about it, as well as some still photos and short clips taken from it. And I admit that there are a couple of things I’ve read/seen that do make me uncomfortable, as well-done as most think the series is.
First, that the adult children of the transitioning trans woman in the show are all portrayed as being rather screwed-up, to a greater or lesser extent. Now, I do understand that it’s necessary for a fictional TV series to create dramatic situations. An hour a week of the trans woman talking to her therapist would hardly be dramatic! Still, as someone who transitioned as the parent of a teenage child, the show’s apparent implication (intentional or otherwise, some viewers have definitely drawn that conclusion) that the children are screwed up because their father is trans, and was distant and preoccupied when they were growing up – in part because of the father’s “secret life” – makes me very uncomfortable. Because that isn’t at all true of the relationship my son and I had or have.
Second, that the show almost goes to the other extreme from Jenner in its portrayal of how the trans woman character looks: in terms of her appearance, she is portrayed as conforming to the standard convention of the “older” transitioner (which, in some people’s eyes, covers anything from about 35 on up!): a middle-aged or elderly frump, wearing dowdy clothing – in other words, a “man in a dress.” In fact, from what I understand, the character has already transitioned full-time socially, even though she either hasn’t yet started on hormones, or started only recently. In real life, that would be extraordinarily unlikely to happen. (I was on hormones and anti-androgens for 4 1/2 years before I transitioned at work, and even though that was unusual, it’s not unheard of. For the last several years of that, I had to take a number of affirmative steps to conceal the physical changes at work, including baggy shirts and sweaters and pants a couple of sizes too large for me. It was more difficult in warm weather!) So in some respects, Tambor’s character conforms to stereotypes as much or more than Jenner’s appearance: at least Jenner defies the stereotype of the older transitioner; Tambor conforms to it. And I admit that the stereotype makes me uncomfortable, because I feel almost compelled to say: I was a so-called “older” transitioner, and I never, ever, even at the beginning, looked anything like that! Partly, of course, because I was lucky enough to be much closer, at 5’2", to average female height than most trans women, and always had a voice that was taken as female rather than male the vast majority of time. So that I didn’t have to take drastic steps to be perceived as a woman.