Thank you @lookingforward. I am indeed talking about my personal choices - to offer another perspective. I have also repeatedly said that I wouldn’t want other women to not have choices, even if completely different from my own.
I love when people who make different choices than others are considered to have low self-respect or otherwise don’t care about themselves. Some of us just have different priorities.
I will personally never understand the people who need to put on nice clothes to go to the store. And that’s OK. If my old, faded, occasionally ripped clothes offend you then I really don’t know what to say.
I will say that my choice of clothing (and really it’s not generally a choice… whatever I grab is what I wear) has absolutely, 100% nothing to do with my self-respect or lack of it. I didn’t feel any more respect for myself a few weeks ago wearing a wedding dress than I do now wearing a baggy t-shirt and loose cotton shorts (though I feel a lot more comfortable!)
I dream of a world where there wasn’t so much ink spilled on what women wear (or don’t wear).
^^^ =D>
Well, there is a reason why there are dress codes, uniforms for school kids and standards for professional dress. If you look sharp, you act sharp.
Y’all are welcome to your standards just I am welcome to mine. I suspect sometimes people don’t like to play games they can’t win.
^^^Your suspicion would be wrong 
Yes, there is definitely a difference in standards. Just today I was watching a video where students from around the world talked about Americans. There was one girl who said, “Americans wear the clothes they sleep in to school.” I had to chuckle. I didn’t grow up in a “traditional American-cultured” household and growing up my mom would never let me wear loungewear to school. She said it wasn’t appropriate school wear and in our culture it’s simply not what students would do. Personally, it’s not as if I dress up to go out, it’s just my clothes are maintained and that’s the standard I live by. If I get a stain, I clean it or shelf it. If I have a rip or tear, I mend it or toss it.
I’m not quite sure what you mean – what is it about that pose (other than your imagination possibly supplying what’s not actually there!) that reminds you of her supposed “choice” to keep certain body parts? If you mean what I think, I certainly don’t see it in the photo, and very much doubt that anything you think you see was intended to be perceived as such. Anyway, she clearly hasn’t “chosen” to keep anything; all she’s said is that she hasn’t had that kind of surgery yet. And even if she wanted to have it tomorrow, most surgeons wouldn’t perform it: you’re supposed to wait until one year after social transition to have it.
Given that I am neither Caitlyn’s doctor or potential romantic partner, I can’t see what business it is of mine what’s between her legs.
I agree, and it’s not my business either. That’s why I don’t like the skimpy clothes as a cover photo.
I can’t believe that I’m outing myself on CC–and I’m probably going to regret doing so–but over the past year, I’ve wrestled with my gender (or, really, my sex). I feel like I need/should have a male body, including and especially male primary sex characteristics, but I’ve never felt any social discomfort with being female, being called a lady, etc. It feels analogous to what I’ve read about phantom limbs–my brain expects my body to be different than it is. This doesn’t really fit the traditional trans narrative of “feeling like a boy,” etc., and I’ve really struggled with the questions of “am I trans?” and “should I do anything about it?” Because I never felt any discomfort socially with being read as female and because the intensity of my dysphoria waxes and wanes, I always shoved my physical dysphoria down. Last year, I gave in and tried out some (temporary) things to make my body look and feel more male, just to see what would happen. I kind of wish that I didn’t, if just because admitting how right they felt made me confront the fact that I may not be a cisgender woman (FWIW, thinking of myself as male “feels right”).
One thing I’ve struggled with is the feeling that if I ever do decide to transition, I’ll be defrauding all the people who have supported me as a woman in science, a sorority sister, etc., over the years. Because I don’t have social dysphoria, I have it easier than most trans people (and I struggle with whether or not “trans” is something I am), and the surgeries that would ease my sex dysphoria the most aren’t particularly well advanced or popular among trans men. Otoh, the relief I’ve gotten from my makeshift, temporary strategies to make myself look/feel more male-bodied isn’t something that I feel I can ignore, and the thought of having the body that my brain thinks I should sounds. awesome.
I don’t think you’ve defrauded anyone. You had those experiences and relationships and they were genuine for who you were at the time and they are a valuable part of your past. It seems to me that you are still the same person even if you change gender, if that makes any sense.
I don’t see any fraud here. If you had been presenting as a man, and you sneakily dressed up as a woman to be admitted to your sorority or get your job in science, that would be fraud. But you were presenting as a woman in good faith, doing things that women do.
If you do decide to transition, I’ll be fascinated to hear what difference, if any, your new gender makes in your scientific career.
I find it awesome that people who for so long have been trying to suppress their feeling that they should have the body of the other gender can now act on those feelings. It’s fascinating. I always thought that trans people were incredibly rare. Turns out, they are not that rare at all; I just didn’t know.
These kids are great: (looking at old and new photos of Caitlyn)
Just a hug, psych.
Very brave of you, psych. Good luck to you.
“I love when people who make different choices than others are considered to have low self-respect or otherwise don’t care about themselves. Some of us just have different priorities.”
The great thing is that it’s possible to have multiple priorities. For example, it’s not as though any of the effort I’ve made over the years to look attractive has come at the expense of my academics, my job performance, my family, etc. I can pat my head AND rub my stomach at the same time. Go me! And frankly smart is great and smart plus pretty is killer, IMO.
It’s rather like people who are into food and appreciate great food. I’m not one of them, but I don’t draw any moral superiority from the fact that I’m not that way, and I don’t need to suggest that their priorities are askew.
But pizzagirl- you must realize that the people who are foodies are morally superior to YOU, right?
Ha, the morally superior can be found on either side of an issue.
Moral superiority can be found on any position about anything, at any point in history.
“While it’s certainly smart to be aware of your surroundings at all times, someone who is waiting in the park with ill intentions doesn’t really care what you’re wearing. Your posts seem to have a discomfort with the idea of looking nice/ attractive.”
I have had a fairly slim build, though somewhat busty, for most of my adult life. I have worked with at least 95% men for the last thirty years, and I have spent all of that time covering it up, not wearing anything too tight, not too much makeup, anything to hide a hint of sexuality. Men may enjoy looking at you and be far more talkative, but it does not gain you any respect whatsoever. I don’t like anyone looking at me in that way, except for my husband. I know it energizes some women to have guys paying attention to them, and looking at them, but as far as I go, it creeps me out. I do not need, nor want that kind of attention. Maybe I’ll wish I had it in the coming years, but I LIKE being invisible. And out here in the PNW, you can wear your sloppy athletic gear anywhere, and people will treat you just fine.