<p>Shaina rules the hairy-faced baboons in Equaorial-Guinea and eats little boys. Then she picks her teeth with fufu made from Harvard undergrads and Princeton girls who unwittingly decided to study abroad in Guinea. The poor fools. She lured them into her jungle abode by playing on her magical flute made from little boy bones and then singing “Thais” and playing “Meditation” on her invisible violin. She was wonderful and knew just how to whip up a nice cool glass of lemonade for anyone who comes to visit her. So purrli came to visit her, and Shaina said “Take me to Cali!” So the 2 girls (is Shaina still a girl in this version?) rode upon Shaina’s magical carpet consisting of baboon fur and little boy hair, hand in hand with Chuck Norris and playing “go-fish” Shaina knows how to party. She’ll get this party started. And she started by offering Chuck and Purrli some Budlite, beernuts, and left over boy flesh; the menu amazed everyone at the party. Shaina had a crush on Business<em>Freak. “Oh I love Business” said Shaina. “Good” Business</em>Freak replied, you can be my accountant. Then Business<em>freak realized that Shania is a boy-eating, hairy-faced baboon ruling, Chuck Norris wannabe…and took back his offer. Try JTC, he said. So Shaina goes to JTC, and being a nice person, JTC gives her a chance and says, by the end of the week you have to complete 5 tasks for me… and the first one is…“Kidnap a Wolfy” So Shaina thinks to herself… where can I find a Wolfy?" “It’s obvious,” Said a voice. “He’s the CC’er who’s so hot that he’ll fuse your Hydrogens together.” Suddenly a bell rang inside Shaina’s mind… “wait a minute,” she said to herself, “is he the one who got accepted into Stanford just on his good looks? Say, If he’s really that hot, then I’m game.” So she flew over her carpet to his realm, and discovers that he turned out to be like nothing she’s ever seen! Then she kidnaps him and goes back to the super hot accountant JTC007 to find out her next task. For the second task, she has to capture wolfy’s “essence” and inform all the pondering girls about this mysterious “man.” She first tried to inhale his presence, breathing his manly odors. Then, Shania takes a DNA sample of Wolffy and studies it using the latest technology. She is shocked to discover that the mitochondria are missing and replaced with pink amorphous cytoplasm, which accounts for his undeniable hottness…instead of getting energy through cellular respiration, he radiates it! Next, Shania tried to measure his hottness by electron vibrations per second. Wollffy’s enthalphy was -8000 kcal, indicating that he gave off a lot of “hottness”. It was at this time that Shania realized she was in opposite land. So that meant that she was cold, close to absolute zero (relationship wise). It also meant that “she” is now a “he.”, , and her beautiful silky skin turned coarse and disgusting like a football player’s, but now she’s more manly than even Wolffy! Her pink pantyhose then stretched and tore, and her biceps could crash through any iron door and she could bench press 750 kg. Shaina got tired of opposite land and left, turning back to her normal self. Her second task completed, she returned to JTC007 to find out her third. He told her that she would have to engage in an epic battle of wits and linguistic mettle against her fellow CCer ice (muah). Shaina would have to test this baron of brevity, the prince of panache, the duke of debonairness in a deadly riddle duel. Ice thought for a second, then said: “What is green and fuzzy and will kill you if it fell out of a tree?” “Bring it on, Ice!” Shouts Shaina, shaking a fist. “BZZZ. WRONG!” Yelled Ice. “The correct answer is…<em>drum roll</em> A POOL TABLE!” Business</em>Freak returned to meet Shaina. In disgust, Shaina greeted business<em>freak by asking him “What now, oh Freaky one?”. He replied: “I would like to be your accountant”. She confidently reponded “I already have a better one…JTC007. He is better looking too.” Business</em>freak responded by taking out his magical stapler and zapping Shaina into a warty old hag. “Take that,” he said. “Wait a second guys, she’s mine” interjected Ice, clearly annoyed. “I mean, it was part of the agreement. Shaina’s mine unless she wins this riddle contest- and as of now, I’m up 1-0. She also secretly confessed her crush on me- so I’d say she has some explaining to do, and a contest to win.” Shaina sighed. “So what’s up?” Ice stroked his goatee and thought deeply. “What wears overalls, is black, and dangerous?” Suddenly Shaina heard a voice going “oh god, I just thought of a terrible joke.” “What?” She said, distracted. It sounded so far away, as if from the west coast. “Nuh uh.” Says Ice triumphantly. “The answer is ‘a scarecrow with a machine gun’.” And the final riddle, Ice said, the simpliest one of all, is this “If one is five, two is ten, three is fifteen, four is twenty, then what is five?” Shaina again heard a phantom voice from the west coast. This time, it said “like ohmygawd! that’s sooooo easy!” Distracted, Shaina said “twenty”. Wrong!, said Ice, now you must pay the price for your error. You shall be my slave for five decades Ice said. Or until you turn into an old hag. No! Shaina screamed, I shall not be your servant! I shall not bow to your wishes! I do not love you!! <em>slap</em> So Shaina was trapped in Ices gothic mansion, forced to do menial labor day after day. Her only companions were Goldfish and Bluephish, whom she had found one day in Ices swimming pool. Between her hours of polishing spoons and scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush, Shaina starts to plan an escape with Goldfish and Bluephish. Their elaborate plan involves Business<em>Freak, who said. “You know what? I’ve got a business deal in India involving diamonds, and I’ll get you out of here if you’ll agree to become my elephant.”
Meanwhile, Ice had grown complacent, and perhaps a bit bored in his watch over Shaina’s drudgery. While he had originally burned with passion for her, her rejection left him forlorn and bitter, trapped in the musings of his own mind. After a great deal of poetry and sonnets, he finally simply became lazier than ever, purchasing a very expensive cable football package and a very nice lazy boy. Meanwhile, bluephish devised a plan to drive off Business freak. While Business</em>Freak was snoozing, Bluephish stuffed a handful of chilli powder down his trachea. The spice immediately caused Business<em>Freak to wake up choking, gasping for air, and tearing at the eyes. He ran into the WC and saw Shaina floating in a pool of mercury but then realized that his eyes were deceiving him because of the chili powder. Then he turned around and saw the real Shaina, who ran away in fright. Business wanted to shout “Wait, honey!” but instead the chilli gave him fiery breath and he nearly roasted Shaina. Suddenly, an Ice Falcon swooped down from the sky and used his coolness to extinguish the flame before they hit her. The fires melted him into a puddle. And that was the end for the Ice Falcon. Business sputtered some more, the vapors from his breath incinerating the trees in the garden, drying up the ponds and the two fish in it. Meanwhile, Shaina sobbed by the puddle that was formerly Ice Falcon. “noooooooo…” She wailed. “He was a lonely, reclusive villain, but still. I never had the chance to say but, oh, but I LOVE YOU and I’d LOVE to MARRY YOU and I will do anything to being you back!!” As her howlings subsided, she realized that she was still held captive by Business, who had jumped into the freezer to cool his breath. In a flash, Shain slammed and bolted the freezer door shut. Inside the fridge, Business</em>Freak’s super cells began evolving at a rapid pace and he sprouted a puffy layer of fur. Heat from the exothermic reaction melted the door of the freezer and steam rose from Business Freak’s fur, and he became a steamed delicacy that stirred up Shaina’s appetite for little boys. She threw Business into the oven and hiccuped twice before closing the door. After Business<em>F was medium-rare to well-done, Shaina took him out and poured Ice Falcon’s puddle over him - voila! Ice Falcon was resurrected in Bus</em>F’s body through Shain’s Guinean voodoo arts. With Bus_F dead and boiled, Shaina rejoiced and gave Ice Falcon a looooong kiss. Unfortunately, Ice’s icy breath froze her esophagus. “Shaina darling!” Cried Ice, as Shaina fell into his icy arms, her face blue from the cold. He thought for a moment. “But I love you anyways, dead or not. In fact, we’re going to have a gothic wedding right now, à la “The Nightmare Before Christmas” style.” So he carried her limp form up the marble stairs and put on Chopin’s “Funeral March” and sending out invitations by his pet bats. Like Romeo and Juliet, Ice Falcon sat by Shaina’s side, cooing her gently, holding her hand, and wishing she wasn’t dead. Meanwhile, the mad accountant JTC and the handsome wereWolffy bust through the gothic arched door, knocking over a goldfish bowl in the process. A drop fell onto Shaina’s lips and she stirred. She yawned widely like Sleeping Beauty — and swallowed the goldfish projected into the air after the bowl was knocked over. Ice stood up, lightsabre in hand, and demanded to the two partycrashers into his secret chambre: “What do you want?!?” They said, “You have stolen Shaina from us”. JTC and Wolfy both ignited their lightsabers and charged. “You were the Chosen One!” They cried. “You were to bring balance to the Horse, not gettin’ hitched to the queen of Guinea, brotha!” Wolfy, who was not strong in the Horse, charged wildly and was decapitated by one stroke of Ice Falcon’s lightsaber. Meanwhile, Ice Falcon began drawing power from the Dark Horse and his eyes glowed yellow from beneath his hood. JTC his mentor in business tried to appeal to his diminishing humanity (which had been on a downhill roll since he was put back together). Meanwhile, Shainé stirred. “Guess what? I’ve got twins!!”</p>
<p>^Thanks. :)</p>
<p>I can only bring a 25 gallon tank to Duke, so I’ll have to downsize if I still want to keep goldfish. I actually don’t post on FishForum all that much, except to ask questions about fishkeeping. :D</p>
<p>
Ouch! Do you still have crabs?</p>
<p>no. I have harmless bunny now. I really would like to have a lamb some time.</p>
<p>Bunnies, huh? I want one too :)</p>
<p>well t’is Eastertime 
I’ve had quite a few pets in my lifetime: 3 bunnies, 5 parakeets, 1 guinea pig, 1 turtle, a few fish, 1 crab, countless chicks and ducklings. Not all at once though. Never anything big though because my mother doesn’t like animals.</p>
<p>well some bunnies are nice, but mine is uncommonly antisocial and hates to be touched.</p>
<p>When I was little I always wanted a parrot, then I wanted a chinchilla, and then a peacock but I didnt get any of those. My first fish tank was actually the bottom of a gallon-bottle of water, and whenever I found a cockroach or bug, Id feed it to my fish. :)</p>
<p>wouldn’t the fish suffocate without a pump system?</p>
<p>oh yeah, I’ve also raised tadpoles before, after catching them from a nearby lagoon. I didn’t know what they ate though, so I fed them rice (assuming they are Asian), but it didn’t work and they died :(.</p>
<p>Now that I think of it, few of my pets had a good life. The first set of bunnies were deposed of after the neighbors complained they smelled. The guinea pig was stolen. The fish were killed by the crab as i said earlier. The turtle was taken by the neighbors cat. So was the duckling. And the tadpoles and chicks died of malnutrition. The parakeets broke the cage and flew away.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p><em>sniffles</em></p>
<p>Wow… a lot of drama. That could make a good animal soap opera.</p>
<p>Aww thats sad. Do you think your parents would let you get a kitten?</p>
<p>kittens are so cute. i wish I could get a kitten. sorry about your rotten luck with animals purrli. :(</p>
<p>considering this summer will be when I leave my parents’ home for good, I doubt I’ll be able to have one until I get my own house. my poor pets :(.</p>
<p>omg stop posting so much when i’m gone!</p>
<p>if anyone is bored, try this.</p>
<p><a href=“http://thesurrealist.co.uk/trivia.pl[/url]”>http://thesurrealist.co.uk/trivia.pl</a></p>
<p>1.Over half of Americans are officially quizquick!
2.Quizquick is actually a mammal, not a fish!
3.Fish travel in schools, but whales travel in quizquick!
4.Some birds use quizquick to orientate themselves during migration.
5.The difference between quizquick and a village is that quizquick does not have a church!
6.Neil Armstrong first stepped on quizquick with his left foot.
7.On stone temples in southern India, there are more than 30 million carved images of quizquick.
8.Quizquick has a memory span of three seconds.
9.The average duration of sexual intercourse for quizquick is two minutes!
10.White chocolate isn’t technically chocolate, because it doesn’t contain quizquick.</p>
<ol>
<li>Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are purrli.</li>
<li>All swans in England belong to purrli!</li>
<li>Purrli is the world’s largest rodent.</li>
<li>A purrliometer is used to measure purrli!</li>
<li>In Eastern Africa you can buy beer brewed from purrli.</li>
<li>Some hotels in Las Vegas have purrli floating in their swimming pools.</li>
<li>The average duration of sexual intercourse for purrli is two minutes.</li>
<li>Purrli has four noses!</li>
<li>Purrli is the last letter of the Greek alphabet.</li>
<li>You can tell if purrli has been hard-boiled by spinning her. If she stands up, she is hard-boiled.</li>
</ol>
<p>though the one with my real name was better :)</p>
<p>1.Celebrian is 984 feet tall!
2.Ideally, celebrian should be stored on her side at a temperature of 55 degrees.
3.Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are celebrian!
4.Until the 1960s, celebrian was not allowed to enter Disneyland!
5.When provoked, celebrian will swivel the tip of her abdomen and shoot a jet of boiling chemicals at her attacker!
6.Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are celebrian.
7.Without its lining of celebrian, your stomach would digest itself.
8.Apples are covered with a thin layer of celebrian.
9.The international dialling code for celebrian is 672.
10.Devoid of her cells and proteins, celebrian has the same chemical makeup as sea water.</p>
<p>Fish travel in schools, but whales travel in sarorah!
India tested its first nuclear sarorah in 1974.
Only fifty-five percent of men wash their hands after using sarorah.
The international dialling code for sarorah is 672.
Sarorah is physically incapable of sticking her tongue out.
Sarorah has 118 ridges around the edge!
Devoid of her cells and proteins, sarorah has the same chemical makeup as sea water.
Sarorah will always turn right when leaving a cave.
Sarorah is 1500 years older than the pyramids!
Medieval knights put the skin of sarorah on their sword handles to improve the grip! </p>
<p>Lol, that’s pretty darn cool :)</p>
<p>Peanuts and BestMiler1 are beans.
A sixteenth century mathematician lost his nose in a duel over his love for BestMiler1, and wore a silver replacement for the rest of his life. (no way)
BestMiler1 can fly at an average speed of fifteen kilometres an hour.
According to the story, Pinocchio was made of BestMiler1.
The Australian billygoat plum contains a hundred times more Vitamin C than BestMiler1.
A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are individually known as BestMiler1!
Oranges, lemons, watermelons, pineapples and BestMiler1 are all berries!
The first domain name ever registered was BestMiler1.com.
The only Englishman to become BestMiler1 was Nicholas Breakspear, who was BestMiler1 from 1154 to 1159.
BestMiler1 has a memory span of three seconds! </p>
<p>I got the worst one :(</p>
<ol>
<li>Kman1456 can pollinate up to six times more efficiently than the honeybee!</li>
<li>If you drop kman1456 from the top of the Empire State Building, it will be falling fast enough to kill before reaching the ground.</li>
<li>The blood of mammals is red, the blood of insects is yellow, and the blood of kman1456 is blue.</li>
<li>Kman1456 can live for up to a week without a head.</li>
<li>A chimpanzee can learn to recognize itself in a mirror, but kman1456 can not.</li>
<li>All shrimp are born as kman1456, but gradually mature into females!</li>
<li>Kman1456 can’t sweat.</li>
<li>Over 46,000 pieces of kman1456 float on every square mile of ocean!</li>
<li>Kman1456olatry is the mindless worship of kman1456.</li>
<li>Louisa May Alcott, author of ‘Little Kman1456’, hated kman1456 and only wrote the book at her publisher’s request!
Some of those I wish were true (#7 and #1).</li>
</ol>
<p>1.** Ibrath can drink over 25 gallons of water at a time. **
2.The only Englishman to become Ibrath was Nicholas Breakspear, who was Ibrath from 1154 to 1159.
3.Ostriches stick their heads in Ibrath not to hide but to look for water.
4.There is actually no danger in swimming right after you eat Ibrath, though it may feel uncomfortable.
5.**
Ibrath can run sixty-five kilometres an hour - that's really fast! **
6.Ibrath became extinct in England in 1486.
7.Ibrath is the smallest of Jupiter’s many moons.
8.If you break Ibrath, you will get seven years of bad luck.
I9.f you lie on your back with your legs stretched it is impossible to sink in Ibrath!
10.Ibrath was named after Ibrath the taxi driver in Frank Capra’s ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’!</p>
<p>yea some luck with my name :)</p>