<p>But dragonnnnn don’t you know that our rings are supposed to be for everyone else? It’s everyone else’s opinion that counts! Gosh! </p>
<p>Seriously though, I agree with you. We’ve looked at a few local places and have been very upfront our budget and what we’d like. The local stores have been fantastic. Probably because it’s a college town and they’re used to a limited budget. I haven’t felt dismissed or anything because of our very tiny budget. If they’re annoyed or don’t think we’re getting a big enough gem, we haven’t felt it :)</p>
<p>Good for you RGE, we bought my ring for $250 when that was a months living expenses back in cheap married student housing .
And as far as we can tell, it still “works”…insert winky thing I can’t do</p>
<p>It’s bad sales to mistreat a young customer. If you treat them well when they can’t afford an expensive piece, they will come back when they can. Tiffany’s knows this.</p>
<p>A fancy jumping horse will keep costing every month, on & on & on. I miss my guy and am glad I had him and jumped him, but would not get another one now, post kids, that I could make time again.</p>
<p>Ladies, I have an impression that you might have misunderstood the post about “respectable”. First of all, the poster was talking about the specifics of the particular market that she is familiar with (suburban Northeast) “That is my opinion, with the disclaimer that I live in the suburban Northeast where size matters in certain communities.” Secondly, IMO there was nothing in there that read (even between the lines), “if you cannot afford to buy a diamond of less than X carat, we are going to treat you like dirt”. I thought the main point was about buying something that was right from the beginning and saving the money down the road. It is a fact (even judging by what’s been posted in this thread) that many want to/do “upgrade” their engagement ring later in life when they have some extra $$. Of course, if the couple in question are students without parental financial backing or a sizeable brokerage account, they should not overstretch themselves and sell the shirts off their backs only to be able to get a larger stone. A couple with some means who can afford to buy something that would work well without the need to upgrade should do so, because upgrades do come at a price.</p>
<p>Of course, some are not that much into bling and/or do not want to “upgrade” anything - me included. I will not “upgrade” my tiny bling unless I decide to “upgrade” Mr B, but that would be an impossible task, because he is rated “perfect” by the Consumer Reports. Of course, Mr B is always free to get me anything from that jewelry case at Costco. :D</p>
<p>Platinum is stronger than gold. Most large diamonds are set in platinum because it is more secure. Gold is more malleable, which makes it better for pave settings. Often you’ll see bracelets or rings with many tiny stones set in gold, not platinum. The cost of an 18K gold setting and a platinum setting is about the same.</p>
<p>I have an 18K yellow gold and diamond ring - the prongs holding the stone are platinum, both for strength, and because the “white” color of the metal doesn’t cast a yellow hue onto the stone. Only white gold has a rhodium finish, platinum does not have a coating. Also, the finest jewelry is always set in 18K, not 14K gold - Tiffany, Bulgari, Cartier, etc. only use 18K gold and platinum. The color of 18K gold is richer and deeper than 14K.</p>
<p>The difference between platinum and gold as a setting is complicated. Actually, platinum is more flexible (some say malleable) than gold, but denser. That is why the gems are set in it. If you strike a gold setting, the gold is more likely to scrape away and the rigidity of it can damage the stone. The platinum setting has more “give” and will protect the stone.</p>
<p>I can’t imagine buying a ring or anything else because it “matters” in ANY community. Why should anyone care what the neighbors or your sisters like? They aren’t the ones wearing it, living in it, driving it, etc. And if they talk about me, they’re not people I really need to take seriously.</p>
<p>My engagement rings was three hearts made of blue zircon. It was not expensive, but I love hearts (as a heart patient survivor) and that was my birthstone. Sadly I had to remove it while pregnant and it was stolen when our place was robbed. The replacement is completely different-a pave heart. I love it and I don’t care who thinks it’s not “respectable”. My wedding band is a Celtic knot design in silver from a discount store in the mall. It cost about $30 and I’ve had it for 14 years. It has very special meaning to us and honestly the heck with anyone who feels it’s wrong.</p>
<p>I have an old friend who has a ring that cost what a new car would have cost. She literally told me that. Her marriage has never been stable and there was serial cheating, a child born as a result, and the guy ruined her credit and her self-worth. But hey! She’s got a nice ring. I’ll take my little pave ring and stable marriage any time. THAT’S what people can talk about.</p>
<p>I grew up in New Canaan, CT, which I think qualifies as one of the classic upscale CT suburbs. I married there, and lived there and in Wilton until we moved to Maine in the 90s.</p>
<p>I NEVER heard anyone talking about the size of their engagement ring, or anyone else’s. </p>
<p>Maybe I was just clueless. Or maybe I should be thankful that I wasn’t hanging around with people who were competitive about their jewelry. :)</p>
<p>PS This implies no criticism at all of people who love jewelry and actually buy it. I love looking at gorgeous, fanciful stuff in Bulgari ads, myself, although I would be HIGHLY unlikely to ever buy any of it, even if I won the lottery. :)</p>
<p>In this thread, someone mentioned that they had wanted at least a 1K diamond because that’s what her sisters both had. That made me think about my sister’s ring, and I honestly could not tell you what her ring looks like. I don’t know if it is big, little, solitaire or with baguettes. :o</p>
<p>I wonder if the same women who want a certain size diamond because their friends have it also want a certain size house because their friends have it, or certain other objects or if this is just some kind of awareness of others’ stuff which is limited to engagement rings. Maybe some people equate the size of the ring with the devotion of their fiance. I don’t know.</p>
<p>I like diamonds, though. DH offered to “upgrade” my ring a couple of times, but each time I chose a fabulous trip instead. We took an amazing trip to Tahiti, Bora Bora, and Moorea (very romantic 10 days) and another time took the girls to France rather than accept a new ring. I don’t regret it, though I certainly wouldn’t mind having a new platinum band rather than the gold I currently have. But if he offers to redo my ring again for our upcoming 25th, I’d probably ask for that longed-for trip to Italy instead. :)</p>
<p>This rings true to me (bad pun I know). Affluent housewives in Westchester County or Bergen County have huge rocks but they would never be so gauche as to mention or comment on them. It’s just expected that bond trader husband will get wife a nice ring.</p>
<p>Nrdsb4, I happen to recall what my sister’s ring looks like: it is her original solitaire diamond reset with flanking sapphires. Not an “upgrade”–BIL is a trust fund baby and the original was probably pricey, but frankly I have no idea–but a new look that turned the solitaire into a piece of jewelry she preferred. She is actually the only person I know who–to my knowledge–got her engagement ring reset. I guess there may be others, but they don’t talk about it.</p>
<p>Hmm. My grandmother lived in Westchester County.I grew up playing with her friends’ kids and going to their houses, having them over at her place whenever we visited. My grandfather had been a bond trader, though he retired early for health reasons and having done very well. Their friends were literally the ibankers we read about on CC and other bind traders. I didn’t see people with huge rocks on their fingers. I didn’t notice anything ostentatious about them. Maybe grandma surrounded herself with the few who weren’t into that kind of thing.</p>
<p>My mother had a jewelry box full of big rings she inherited from grandmothers and great-grandmothers. She never wore them. Her later career was for a jeweler and she tended towards Native American silver and turquoise, or funky costume jewelry. Good thing she left the NY suburbs, I guess.</p>
<p>I think that those that lived through the Great Depression had a better understanding that times could be hard; even if they did well through it.</p>
<p>sseamom, it is also possible that there is a generational difference. I think the younger generation in general is much more into flashing their “wealth” than the folks of your grandparents’ and parents’ ages.</p>
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