The waiting is the hardest part…

Finally down to two choices…and our senior is feeling no urgency to make the decision. Our first kid knew exactly where they wanted to go, and we sent the deposit the moment that they were accepted. Waiting for kid #2 to make a choice is really dragging out, any tips and tricks for moving this process along? There is still a major debate, which is holding up the process :melting_face: Help!

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If you have time to visit the two choices. That can help narrow it down to one. Sometimes visiting a second time can change their perspective.

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Breathe. Take a break. Set it aside for a few days.

A second kid may have such a different outlook and way of approaching this decision….

Play it cool.

Not easy!!! Congrats on your kiddo having choices.

( Perhaps the four year plan, dining, housing, special programs can be compared , have a spreadsheet, follow up talks with each college to refine issues of debate. )

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Both of my first two deposited on April 30, so I sympathize! It’s a huge decision–the biggest decision most kids have ever had to make–so it makes sense that it’s tough to pull the trigger, but it can be agonizing to watch as a parent.

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I agree with visiting if you can. A visit after the student has an affordable acceptance is very real – the student knows that they really can be a student here in September if they want. Many schools will let you sit in on a class and talk to a professor.

This can be the first major life decision that the student gets to make. Just being able to make a decision of this magnitude is a significant step in growing up and becoming an adult.

Sometimes as a parent you just have to wait.

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Every kid is different. They have 3 more weeks plus - so it’s ok.

They’ll come around in due time - hopefully a few days early.

Agree with the revisit - if you can to one.

If not - just ignore it til they bring it up.

It’s hard - but whether April 9 or April 30, they’ll make a choice and will be ready to go mid August or whenever school starts. That part isn’t changing.

it’s great they’re down to two - that’s 90% of the progress right there in most cases (if they had many more).

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April 29th for our son. It was hard, but all fit him well, so there was no obvious choice. I had to keep reminding myself that I was feeling anxious, but he certainly wasn’t.

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I’m right there with you.

D24 has narrowed it down to two choices - either would be fantastic, I think.

It’s only a few more weeks…hang in there!

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Sounds like this is a problem for you but not your child. They will have to decide by May 1. I predict a decision by May 1, 11:59 p.m.

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I sure remember the wait for my D (and it’s been years). She agonized over her decision right up to the date, and she spent the summer second guessing herself. She ended up transferring to the “school not chosen” sophomore year. But the year she spent at the chosen school was an important one for her personal growth, and two of her friends from that school are still among her closest friends today.

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I thought my S24 had it down to 2, he expanded it back to 3, and we are visiting all 3 over the next couple weekends. He might decide right after the third visit, but maybe he will mull it over longer.

In the end, my perspective is I am here to support his process, not dictate it to him. I’ll probably make sure he accepts somewhere by the deadline, but otherwise I see it as being up to him how much of that time before the deadline he wants to take.

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Look at it another way - there’s so much anticipation, so much excitement…the wheels are turning.

When they give the final choice - it’s over - that’s it.

All that excitement…just like that…it’s gone.

The process is hard, the waiting torturous - but at the same time - it’s kind of fun with a lot of exhilaration. Once that balloon pops, it’s back to normal!!

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I would suggest NOT waiting until the last day. We had a snafu computer network wise with one kid, and with the second we needed to use a different credit card as the school stopped taking Visa (but we had set an April 29th deadline with that kid).

You never know when your internet will be down or you won’t have power.

Don’t wait until the 11th hour.

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Waiting can impact housing at some schools.

I also remember a thread where the payment was delayed and they basically lost their seat. Power outage or internet outages happen. Murphy’s law.

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All the schools accepted S24 extended the deadline to either 5/15 or 6/1. But I personally gave him a deadline to confirm enrollment by 5/1. We already visited the top 7 choices he picked and we will not get any FA (no need to wait for FAFSA). He has the rest of the month to research and decide.

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My D did not want to wait until the last day just in case there was a problem of some sort, so she put off her decision until 4/29. It was a stressful couple of weeks. One of her top choices we had not visited prior to an admitted student day on 4/15 (we tried to go a week earlier but our flight was cancelled) so that contributed to the delay.

She ended up going back and forth between 2. They were both good programs in her major and both about the same costs, but they would have been very different experiences and there were pros and cons to each. We completely understood why her decision was a tough one - though I kept my thoughts to myself I went back and forth between what I thought was the best decision as well. The good news, is there is a deadline so eventually they have to choose.

The funny thing is she went through it all over again when she had to decided on a grad school.

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For older S ,we didn’t have much of a choice but to wait. He was the alternate for the 1693. If any of the 8 kids had declined, he would have gone there. #8 didn’t commit until the 11th hour (aka. May 1). It was stressful. I am NOT a procrastinator and had visions of our crappy at the time Wifi going out. We didn’t know you could have put down the deposit and later change your mind. All’s well that ends well I guess.

Younger S was more straightforward. He had it down to 2, but it was all his choice. I think he knew which one a little while before he told us for sure. I think he liked to make me wait. But I think he still chose by mid April or so.

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That is crazy!!! I could see, maybe if it were Amex or Discover, but not taking Visa just seems bizarre.

Who would ever expect that? And I guess that’s the point, unexpected things may happen if waiting until the last day/minute. If only D24 would take this lesson to heart, it’s still a surprise/shock/annoyance to her every time.

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This was my experience as well. D24 was so unused to this from me that she found it unsettling. Honestly, I did too…I had a complete blank where my opinion should have been, she had several good options and it was her decision at that point.

I also agree with all the posters recommending a visit after acceptance. They can really dig into things that are important to them, and get a clearer picture of how their experience would be different at each place.

Would you share what made her agonize while she was in high school, and if that thing is what also made her transfer? Looking back, do you have any insight - should she have picked door #2 from the start?