<p>You know what’s worserest than failing to RSVP? </p>
<p>RSVP “yes” for a family of 5 to a weekend that includes 2 catered, sit-down meals…and then show up for the weekend solo, without calling ahead to advise. That relative cost me hundreds of dollars back in the mid-1990’s. I would have been happy to spend it to feed her family – that’s why I iinvited them, after all. That;s how unhappy I felt to spend same money (pre-pay contract with caterer) to pick up the 4 unused dinnerplates. </p>
<p>Then there was…staying up til 1 a.m. to rearrange table-seatings for the next day, so nobody would sit at the half-empty table she had created. (No emergencies, either…just soccer meets, as if I cared). </p>
<p>Nevermore. If I cater now, I do it buffet with double-lines down front and back of tables so people don’t have to wait too long in line. It’s not as elegant, though. Nothing nicer, IMO, than sitting down with long-distance relatives while waiters serve. </p>
<p>I know my own family well enough that, when S-1 married and the dear MOB was working up arrangements with seated meals, I chased down my family mercilessly to pin down their attendance in advance for the MOB. I gave her an exact count. This felt nice to me. I especially enjoyed hunting down my own relatives like Red October.</p>