<p>We’ve all heard stories about kids visiting a school and refusing to get out of the car.</p>
<p>So, what was it about a school that made your student decide it was The One?</p>
<p>Cute tour guide? The student with the blue hair? The grilled cheese at the cafeteria? or??</p>
<p>Nothing that specific … there was a vibe / feeling about the place and the kids that hit my daughter … and, to me, the reaction was pretty consistent across schools and fit her desired attributes about a school. There was a correlation to terrific enthusiastic tour guides … we’ve actually discussed this … we don’t think the tour guide biased my daughter.</p>
<p>I’m not sure many kids find “The One” on their first visit. I think it’s more like “Hmmmm. . . this is possible” or “Uh uh. No way.” While my DS went on tours, did overnights, attended classes, had admissions interviews at each of the schools he was seriously considering, I think the most important thing to him was the student body. Was this a group of kids he could see himself living with? He usually knew within about half an hour of walking around campus if it was a possibility or not. </p>
<p>Part two is to wait and see the acceptances/aid offers. When they were all in he narrowed it down to the top two, which we re-visited on one weekend in early April. The good news is he came away with a clear preference. So far it seems like it was a very good choice.</p>
<p>Both my kids loved the pizza at Caltech, but I think what decided my son on Carnegie Mellon was the presentation by the freshman advisor of the School of Computer Science at the accepted students weekend. It was engaging, funny and also full of lots of charts and numbers about the school.</p>
<p>For my D, her decision to apply ED to Dickinson College, where she is now a freshman, was supported by: the enthusiastic and articulate admissions rep who gave the information session, the friendliness of the students and faculty she met during her visit, and last but not least, the mermaid on the weathervane of the oldest building on campus. Seriously, I’m not kidding about the mermaid.</p>
<p>I am planning a college visit for my d, and she wasn’t necessarily interested in visiting classes because “they’re the same everywhere.”</p>
<p>Sigh.</p>
<p>Might be a bit problematic if you end up liking everything about the school except the classes…</p>
<p>When we visited the first time, D was braced to not like her school. It abuts a rougher neighborhood, and we didn’t know what to expect. She really liked a program at this school but wouldn’t have gone if she didn’t like the overall package. She wasn’t so much starry-eyed, as just really comfortable – “I like this; it’s pretty!; I definitely could see myself here with these kids.”</p>
<p>For every kid who falls in love with a school, there are two more who remain lukewarm to positive about many of their choices and make the best decision they can. Sometimes I think we put this unrealistic expectation on our kids to “fall in love” with a school. And sometimes I think when kids are so “in love,” it makes the day to day adjustments to college harder. Obviously, not for all kids, but still.</p>
<p>But fendrock, one class is such a small sample anyway.</p>
<p>Thanks dbwes, that makes me feel a bit better.</p>
<p>It’s not so much that I want her to fall in love. Actually I’d prefer that she chooses based on a clear-eyed view that she is likely to do well at the school in question – and have a good chance of being employable afterward.</p>
<p>My son wanted to apply to only three schools despite receiving several invitations for weekend stays, fly-ins or priority applications. A single visit to Northwestern University was all he needed, however. He loved Harvard University because he had spent his last two summers there & it felt like an exciting second home & the professors were very attentive & excellent. And the Univ. of Alabama Honors College based on a two day visit & subsequent fly-in.
We also visited one rural LAC in Ohio and he had absolutely no interest whatsoever.
My son was able to select his schools and he definitely made the right choice for him. Ultimately, he was one of the few students at his prep school that did not apply to an Ivy League school (and about 48% of his class got accepted to at least one Ivy including those that did not apply to any Ivy); in fact, he didn’t apply to a single school in the Northeast U.S.
He chose Northwestern University over a full tuition Presidential Scholarship & University Fellows offer from the University of Alabama’s Honors College.</p>
<p>I think there is just different types of kids. Mine are the ones that make decisions quickly and easily and who form distinct impressions… Good or bad? Who knows. My oldest was one who didnt’ get out of a car and made his decision about which school easily - came home from an overnight and said “that’s the one” and he never looked back. I just returned from a “look-see” trip with number 2 and he, also, had a couple schools where he just didn’t even want to get out of the car. He also loved Colby but not Bates. He said they were totally different. Oh really? says I. Who knows what lurks in the minds and bodies of these types of kids. If you ask them what differentiates sometimes they can put a finger on it and other times they come up with something funny like “everyone had stupid shoes” or “too many of the kids had on school logos” or some such off the wall comment. I find it infintely fascinating.</p>
<p>Actually, I agree with your son’s determination that Colby & Bates are quite different despite their obvious similarities. Students have a strong ability to select the appropriate school; parents just need to make sure that it is for the right reasons.</p>
<p>DS wandered through a college fair at the end of his sophomore year of high school and nothing interested until he came to Caltech’s table. He picked up a brochure and fell in love. The brochure was very simple, no pictures, it said something very simple like “if you love math & science, you’ll love Caltech”. Thank goodness he was accepted to Caltech early. He did wait though until nearly the last minute to send in his decision to enroll. At the time he said he was looking for a reason not to go to Caltech.</p>
<p>I’m with those who are a bit concerned about the “gut level” sort of “I love it!” response. It’s a good thing, I suppose, as long as it’s not sheer “irrational exuberance!” We visited one of D’s schools this summer, and she loved it the minute she set foot on the campus; she even wanted a t-shirt. I thought it was nice, but I wasn’t really blown away. But considering this was one of her “safeties,” I thought we were off to a good start, as per the CC advice I’d heard, “Fall in love with your safeties.” Still, I didn’t want her to stop being open to her other schools.</p>
<p>We visited a second campus this summer, and D was pretty indifferent, even though this is probably her highest reach school. She just wasn’t impressed, let alone dazzled. But when she went back this fall, had an interview, ate lunch with a student in the dining hall, and toured some buildings she hadn’t seen before (student center, library), she came away with very positive feelings, announced the whole day had been a lot of fun, and that she could see herself there.</p>
<p>I have no idea in the end what these impressions are based on; most have nothing to do with what will consume the bulk of her time/energy, namely, the academic component of the school. I also assume these impressions won’t make the final decision for us/her, but I think it’s helpful if she can think positively about all her schools until she knows if she’s admitted and what the financial realities might be. I have no idea if she’s going to be thrilled or disappointed with the options at the end of the day, so far as packages, etc., go, so she might as well be as positive as she can about all of her schools now.</p>
<p>This coming weekend we’re visiting the two schools farthest from home (all the way cross country). I don’t know what I want. Rain? sun? a great visit? rule them out? I think both are wonderful schools, but I’m beginning to dread the thought of her being so far away. D1 is already far away; and I know I will miss D2 terribly. Those local schools look better all the time to me!</p>
<p>For me, every school I visited had qualities that I liked and disliked. However, the make or break point was whether or not I could see myself there, walking from class to class, etc.</p>
<p>For instance, as nice of a school as Connecticut College is, I just could not picture myself walking from class to class there. I just couldn’t see it. On the other hand, by the time I left Williams College, I was completely elated and filled with effervescence and couldn’t wait to apply to see if I’d get in. They are similar schools: they both have the honor code system, both are small LACs, but I wasn’t that into ConnColl.</p>
<p>oakland, I think you’re on to something.</p>
<p>I don’t expect D2 to fall in love with a school, but I think they learn just as much about their ultimate “best match” from the schools they reject as the ones they keep on the list.</p>
<p>We leave on a visit tomorrow, and I told her it’s sort of like being introduced to a new guy. If, after spending a day with him, you still like him, keep him in mind for another date. If you don’t, no amount of pursuasion from me or anyone else can convince you to go out with him again. This logic seemed to reach her 16 yo decision processing center.</p>
<p>It was a difficult decision among 3 schools for S1. For S2, it was a very difficult decision among many schools as he had an unusual situation. He got into schools he liked a lot but the program he wanted at those schools, but got into the exact program he wanted at schools that were not as high up on his list. He had to make some hard decisions. Son3 had the easiest time. After spending a day at his college, he knew the place was for him.</p>
<p>I think that many of these anecdotes serve to illustrate a point that I’ve made several times on CC, and that is generally rejected by most CCers. It’s the very rare 18-year-old who has any rational basis for assessing a “fit” at a specific school. I didn’t have much of a notion of the type of individual I’d turn out to be when I was 18. I thought I knew the kind of social setting in which I’d be comfortable, but the more I stretched outside my comfort zone, the more I found that I could be comfortable in a lot of settings. Teenagers who think they want urban or rural, big or small, preppy or bohemian are making judgments based largely upon their experiences to this point, when a significant purpose of going to college is to expand their limited scope of experience.</p>
<p>Very few 18-year-olds have their life plans intact. If one is absolutely certain that they’re going to be a concert pianist, then by all means they should pursue that direction. But I honestly believe that the other 99% of us are best served by seeking out the best, most stimulating, most inspiring peer groups we can and seeing if we can’t be comfortable among them, benefitting from their constant upward tugs on our goals and aspirations.</p>
<p>A young person looking for “fit” on a college tour is often influenced by peripheral things - the personality of the student tour guide who they’ll never meet again, the look of the architecture, the coolness or geekiness of the small sample of students they pass by. The quality of the peer group, as measured by factors such as selectivity and retention / graduation rates, but also the quality of the campus newspaper and the level of student-initiated campus activity being advertised on flyers, gives a much more valid impression of the nature of the student experience there. </p>
<p>But the good news is that 18-year-olds are spectacularly adaptable, and they can usually make whatever choice they select work out for the best. As a college educator, I once asked one of my favorite students why she chose our university, and she said she picked it by throwing a dart at a dart board. I laughed and then saw that she was absolutely serious. But you know what? She had a great experience there!</p>
<p>My impression is different from that shared in Post #18’s first two sentences. I have been very impressed by the ability of prep/high school students to select appropriate colleges & universities based on their current interests–academic or otherwise.
I do agree that many 17 & 18 year olds do not know their future yet, but that they still can select an appropriate school to help them discover & develop interests and ambitions.</p>
<p>Both D1 and D2 had that “gut” feel with their schools. D1 is now a jr. and LOVES her school. It was a great fit for her and she knew from the moment she walked on campus. D1 will be an '09 grad who picked her school the moment she walked on campus, too. It had not been on our radar at all but she went for a visit because the coach asked her and it was in the vicinity of a tournament she was in. We visited campus and she knew even before she met the coach and got the sell package. It is definitely a safety and that has been my concern. I wonder if the school will reallly challenge her. I have to trust that she will continue to be self motivated. She is quiet but knows where she is headed. We’ll see if her school of choice is the right fit!</p>