<p>D was more sure of what she didn’t want than she was of what she DID want. In the end, she still wasn’t sure which school she wanted to attend. She ended up transferring after freshman year. She is happy now, but she needed time and experience to really understand where she wanted to be. Each kid is different.</p>
<p>For D#1 I think it was the German Shepherd and the crummy cars parked outside the dormitories. Really. The dog belonged to a student who talked about the school enthusiastically (and at length). And the prior couple of schools we’d visited had way to many perfectly clothed students with equally perfect transports. For D#2 I think it was the aforementioned “can I see myself here?” thing. Suum Cuique.</p>
<p>Definitely some new facilities and a great tour gave my favorite school the edge.</p>
<p>My S has liked every school he has been to. He doesn’t know just what he wants top major in… I keep hoping for the light bulb moment, but it doesn’t seem to be coming. He has decided he will go to his reach school if accepted. If not…perhaps he will choose whomever gives him the most $$.</p>
<p>I know there are those on CC who had bad experiences with campus overnight visits, but for my shy D, it was an outstanding experience. Her host took her everywhere she went for almost 24 hours. It really enabled my D to see herself living and learning there (the Honors Program at Ohio State).</p>
<p>I’ve known kids who had fallen in love with a school, only to find out shortly after enrolling that it is unbearable.</p>
<p>D met the coach on a visit for the first time, immediately reordered preferences for schools.</p>
<p>I agree with cptofthehouse. I know two kids in our neighborhood who fell in love with particular schools, applied ED and then went on to despise their choices. One dropped out after a year, took a gap year, and settled at a new school that’s a good fit. The other is grinning and bearing it…and still can’t believe what she didn’t see on her visits.
I like the idea of going with your gut…but I also think you have to research very carefully. I like the idea of overnight visits. And don’t trust what you see on the web. One kid saw a fantastic club that influenced her decision to attend, only to find out that the club was out of commission for years!<br>
I think the best source of info is current students. Email them. Talk to them. find out pros and cons. And keep an open mind…bias can be a really dangerous smokescreen…</p>
<p>I think gadad’s post is right on the nose. Back in the late sixties when my friends and I were applying to college, we all limited ourselves to schools within a few hours of our homes–it was considered unnecessary to deal with the expense and inconvenience of attending college far away when there was a broad range of perfectly good schools close by. So there was never an issue of finding the “perfect match” out of hundreds of possibilities. At age 17 I had no idea who I was or what I wanted to do with my life. Like my friends, I made a basic choice between city and country, large and small, applied to the four schools to which our overburdened guidance counselors limited us (including the state flagship as the required safety)–and that was that. I was accepted at all of them and picked the one that was strongest academically. End of process. I adapted myself to my college, made the most of my academic and social experiences there, and blossomed intellectually and emotionally. The same held true for my contemporaries. No one bemoaned their choices or transferred. There’s no reason a high school senior of today can’t have the same experience.</p>
<p>I think that the many college students who congratulate themselves on having found the perfect school don’t realize that they have simply adapted to the schools and carved out places for themselves; they could have done the same at a myriad of other colleges. The perfect college, the perfect job, the perfect spouse–none of them exist, and the belief that they can be found is a path to permanent discontent.</p>
<p>There was a very clear moment when my son decided that a school was a perfect fit for him. He didn’t get to visit very many schools, but had some experience with them. On the day he arrived for his campus visit at the school that fit, it was his birthday. Without his knowledge, I posted to an informal Internet community for that school’s students, mentioning it was his birthday and asking students to wish him a happy one. Well, they really ran with it. People spread the word and everywhere he went, students were telling him happy birthday, giving him small things, making the day special. By the end of the day, they had him. He had been considering bigger schools, but he got a immediate and profound sense of what it was like to be a at a small LAC, where there is a tight sense of community, and he was sold. </p>
<p>You could argue that we engineered that feeling, but it was never my intent, and certainly I expected more that a handful of students would say Happy Birthday to him. The enthusiasm of the community was far more than I expected, and is definitely characteristic of the college. </p>
<p>He’s a sophomore now and still feels strongly that he made the right choice, that he and the school fit together better than any other choice. He’s never had a day like the first day on the campus, but he still feels a strong sense of community.</p>
<p>My kids had stronger feelings about the schools they didn’t like then they did for the ones they really liked. Both kids had two or three schools that they really liked and could see themselves at. Both sent in their acceptance at the last possible minute - and ended up happy at their chosen schools.</p>
<p>DD applied to 6 schools way back in the dark ages in 2000, she LOVED all of them, although they were as different as night and day(3 very large flagship universities, 1 small college and 2 medium sized private schools.) As the acceptances arrived and decisions had to be made, she chose my Hs alma mater. I am sure it was purely a comfort factor as we had been back to many homecomings. She loved it and never looked back.</p>
<p>S1 chose a school based on a D1 sport…a small top 50 LAC and it was not for him, he is now attending a school that he likes. At the time, he was so sure he wanted to attend his LAC…HAD to go there.</p>
<p>S2 is now a freshman in college…he is attending his first choice college. We took him to see about 5 Catholic schools as that was his criteria. He knew he could have been happy at all of them. He did like two more than the rest.</p>
<p>Do I believe that kids know it when they see it? Not so much…I believe they know it when they see what else is out there.</p>
<p>I started a popular thread a while back entitled, “Anyone fall in love with a school at first sight?” and got a ton of responses. It happens and most of those kids enrolled and were happy. My son, who is very unemotional, shocked me, on our 12th college visit, when he announced, “This is what I want.” We had only been on campus for 15 minutes, but I have to agree that the setting and architecture of the buildings were stunning. The fact that he saw several beautiful girls influenced him, too. Unfortunately, he didn’t get into the program he wanted and he decided to pick a school based on a program rather than what could be described as “fit”. The overnight at the “program” school was not a success, however, I’m happy to report that he still enrolled there and as MommaJ mentioned in her post, has adapted well, to the point of really liking the school.</p>
<p>“I think that the many college students who congratulate themselves on having found the perfect school don’t realize that they have simply adapted to the schools and carved out places for themselves; they could have done the same at a myriad of other [environments].”</p>
<p>Exactly so. But how does one learn this lesson if one is restricted to one’s own backyard?</p>
<p>After finding the right fit, many kids also encounter a “breaking in” period. Hopefully for most the choice becomes as comfortable as their favorite footwear. :D</p>
<p>D1 (college freshman) never expressed seeing the “perfect school”, never chose a #1, and waited until the last minute to send in her deposit. Isn’t “in love” with her school, but understands why she chose it…hopefully it will be a “perfect fit” with time…</p>
<p>My D has shown no emotion on schools she liked. Halfway through the campus tour I’ll ask, so what do you think so far? She’ll say, I like it.</p>
<p>On one occasion she wanted to turn around and leave once we parked for the campus tour. I don’t know what it was but the minute she set foot on that campus she didn’t like it. There were a few others that once we finished the campus tour she’ll say, I don’t like it (because of this or that).</p>
<p>I have asked her why she didn’t get really excited about schools she DOES like and she said she didn’t want to get too excited until AFTER she was accepted.</p>
<p>Post #29 shows a major difference between selecting a college in the 1960s & 1970s–which was pre-USNews America’s Best Colleges–and from later years. Today, thanks to publications such as USNews, Fiske, Princeton Review, College Prow ler, ISI Guide, etc. & numerous websites, prospective college students have substantial resources about colleges & universities readily available. Thus, while I can identify with the experiences shared in Post #29, I think that they are totally irrelevant to post-1980s students.</p>
<p>“while I can identify with the experiences shared in Post #29, I think that they are totally irrelevant to post-1980s students.”
I disagree. The poster of this comment obviously has a very high stat kid who had the options to choose from several great schools. Looking at the schools posted shows a high degree of selectivity that is beyond most students (outside the CC posters and their parents). For most college bound kids today, I feel post #18 is very relevant. Many communities are like mine - only public or religious schools are available for high school (no high end/high tech/ highly regarded prep type schools) and most of our college bound kids go to the most local public college. The experience and viewpoints of poster #18 are very much alive and well today.</p>
<p>ColdWind, of course the situation now is quite different from what is was in the 60’s and 70’s. The point of my post was that although it is now possible for our kids to drive themselves to distraction vetting hundreds of schools and fretting over their choices, there’s no reason to think that any of them will have a better college experience as a result of all that effort; so I think this theoretical ability to hunt down the ultimate school does not serve them well. We aren’t doing our kids any favors by asking them to select ideal colleges from a menu of hundreds. It just creates unnecessary anxiety and eats up ridiculous amounts of time. (Just read some of the student pleas in the College Search and Selection section and you’ll see how much confusion and stress abounds.) I’ve given my daughter geographic limits that probably take 75% of schools out of contention. And I don’t think it matters a bit. Her happiness and success at college will have far more to do with her own attitude and effort than it will with the institution she attends.</p>