Never used mattress cases, they were camping mattress cover in plastic, just wiped them down with Lysol, bed bugs don’t like plastic.
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Some schools have nicer mattresses than others. I was surprised that S23’s’ mattress was pretty nice.
If flying or car space is an issue, I wouldn’t pack a mattress topper. I’d check out the mattress and order one on Amazon if needed. Saves you from having to travel with it. And if DC can’t figure out how to make their bed without you, you might have bigger problems.
Regarding the illustration above: If you have any type of cooling mattress topper, do not put a mattress pad over it. It will defeat the purpose of getting a cooling topper.
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I’d love to get people’s thoughts on roommate matching/selection.
The school matching process worked for me in that I got a roommate I got along with but wasn’t best friends with, which was a great outcome. A friend’s kid picked her roommate, and they have really different living preferences, which has caused a lot of tension. But I know both of these scenarios are still basically about luck and that the opposite results are just as likely.
I also get the sense that so many students pick roommates that the ones who don’t might be more likely to get stuck in a triple (or, worse, stuck in a triple with two kids who did pick each other).
Any thoughts or recommendations? Kid is going to Wesleyan, in case that context is helpful.
Wesleyan’s housing policies for 1st year students:
ROOMMATES: Rather than asking students to complete a lifestyle questionnaire or personality survey, Wesleyan randomly assigns roommates, and focuses on use of a communication tool, the Roommate Agreement, after students arrive on campus. The agreement provides a framework for discussing a variety of topics related to sharing a room together, such as use of personal items, visitors, neatness guidelines, hours to be able to sleep or study, etc., before different expectations lead to problems.
Students are discouraged from trying to find roommates through social media. Should students know one another well and feel they would be compatible as roommates, they may request being paired together through their housing preference form. Each student needs to request the other for the pairing to be made.
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Thanks for posting this. My understanding is that many kids do find roommates via social media, despite this discouragement.
This might be a good time to be ‘the bad guy’. Both my kids’ LACs assigned 1st year roommates, but if they hadn’t I still would have told my kids to allow the school to randomly assign rather than making that kind of decision under pressure with limited information.
Easier to blame mom/dad for making them go random roommate than to deal with an imploding roommate based off of social media contact a couple months before starting college.
Listen to Zangief
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I don’t know about Wesleyan, but my sense is that kids tend to pick their roommates – including making connections over social media – at larger colleges, whereas LACs exercise more control over the process, whether they use surveys or not. Even at LACs, I think you can request a roommate, but my sense is that most people don’t; in a smaller school, you’re less likely to know others who are going, and it’s easier for the college to coordinate everything. Then again, Wesleyan’s housing system is pretty distinctive among LACs, so maybe this part is different, too.
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I love your thinking on this. I also think that no matter what the rule is at Wesleyan there will be ways around it for the enterprising or just highly motivated. I think the school’s thinking is that they didn’t go to all those lengths to curate a class only to have everyone sorting themselves even before the welcoming dinner!
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To be clear, my kid is expressing no preference. I don’t think I need to be “the bad guy.” I was just trying to get a sense of pros and cons and what people’s experiences have been.
I also happen to think Wes’s guidance is extremely unhelpful. If you don’t want students to pick roommates, don’t let them. The whole “we recommend against it” thing does not work and just creates more uncertainty for students. My first disappointment with this lovely school 
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I never cried dropping my kids off for preschool or kindergarten or camp…absolutely bawled after first college drop off. And don’t be surprised if your kid basically kicks you to the curb! My boys didn’t want help unpacking, pictures, or a goodbye meal. They wanted to meet people on their floor and get started with the whole college experience…without mom in tow.
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I never cried for any drop offs, including college, but was ditched by all 5 at college drop off , they wanted to jump right in (they never cried starting preschool or kindergarten either).
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@Mjkacmom and @Mamareeb – this was the first time (of many drop-offs!) that I cried. And really since then, I always feel a little blue at each good-bye. (And nobody warned me about that!!!)
From that point, our home was no longer the center of DS’ solar system. His internships didn’t bring him home for the summer. Sure, we continue to spend holidays and vacations and the occasional weekend together, and of course we are delighted that he is so independent and capable, but we miss him too. Definitely a bittersweet parenting success!
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I think my lack of emotion is due to having 5 of them close in age, I never ever thought about the “”first last time” until I got towards the younger ones. Our oldest is 27 and not one day of an empty next yet. The first two are graduated and living elsewhere, bitter sweet. The third is in grad school and will likely come home after graduation to pay loans (her boyfriend if 4+ years is in a similar situation). The fourth graduates next spring and wants to come back here after graduation (loans, plus she’s in the south and wants to work in the NYC metro area), fifth graduates in two years and is commuting. We have a revolving door policy.
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No tears at any dropoffs. Apparently, I saved them all for his wedding. Man, there just wasn’t enough Kleenex, and that makeup wasn’t as waterproof as advertised. I want my money back. And my baby.
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There will be a percentage of kids that go against the advice of the school and think they know better. I guess I just wouldn’t necessarily want my kid to room with one of those kids, so random roommate it is.
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My advise for drop off if you are able to spend any time in the area is to drop off and let them unpack and sleep in the dorm. The second day, run them out for whatever they realize they need, take them (and their roommate if it works out) out to lunch, and drop them off as they had toward an already planned orientation event. It minimized the tears and the awkward “when do we actually walk away” moment. Watching them walk away was so much easier when they were heading toward an event where I knew they’d be making lots of new friends.
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I will probably cry on Tuesday at my middle kid’s civil marriage ceremony we get to watch online. I just can’t believe he’s my first kid to get married! And they’re so happy. 
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@vwlizard is a boarding school parent pro and gives good advice. Dropping off 14-year-olds is really tough, but the BS advice works the same for college – let them go toward this new adventure, use the second day (if possible) for any loose ends and a few more hugs–and save any tears for the parking lot (kids have a hard time seeing adults cry and don’t need that image).
Best advice: Never say “Goodbye.” Instead, with a big smile say, “Have a blast! We’ll see you at Parents Weekend” (or whenever the next event or holiday occurs). Always look forward.
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My kid stored stuff. She shared a storage unit with three other people…so consider that your student can do this. There was plenty of room in the storage unit for everything all four girls wanted to store.
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I think I will try and convince D to do the school pairing for a roommate. I think they do a pretty good job.
I know I will be very emotional when dropping off. This is the last of 4 but she is much younger than the three oldest. Almost like an only child. I get choked up just thinking about it.
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