Thank you, everyone, for the support and suggestions, even the ones that urge me to do things I don’t yet possess the gumption/willpower/courage (whatever you want to call it) to do. I did take your suggestion and showed my PCP the posts I’ve written here, and she was very understanding, very helpful. She’s been my Primary for well over 25yrs. and knows me pretty well. I broke down and sobbed like a baby right in the exam room, something I haven’t done in years. I generally try to be stoic where tears are concerned because crying embarrasses me and makes me berate myself for being weak.
She has added Wellbutrin to my Zoloft because of the anxiety component to my depression. She also did refer me to a psychiatric and counseling practice, which I will look into. Even though my husband is a pretty binary thinker, and has no reference for comprehending clinical depression, he says we will do what’s necessary in the budget to professionally address the issue.
I also have a pretty significant Circadian Rhythm Disorder that’s only gotten worse over the years. This started in early adolescence. I’m usually not able to sleep until the wee hours of the morning, and I eventually end up going to bed so late, I might as well be called a morning person because I’m heading to bed as late as ten the next day. It’s like stretching the rubber band of a slingshot. By that point, I’m so exhausted and discombobulated that I go back to bed at around nine that same evening. That’s when the rubber band is released, only to start the stretching phase again. It’s crazy, I know.