This reading should be mandatory for all CCer's dying claw their way into an Ivy

<p>From the “best of craiglist”</p>

<p>I was the poster child for “overachiever” as a teenager. I was on all of the sports teams, in the school plays, a fixture on the high honor role, and even class president two out of four years. I went to an ivy league school on an academic scholarship. I thought that I was pretty hot. </p>

<p>I hit college and I struggled at first because I had never studied in high school and because I had attended a very mediocre suburban public high school. My cohorts had gone to mostly private college prep schools; my high school’s guidance counselor didn’t know the difference between Cornell and Bucknell. </p>

<p>I persevered in my overachieving ways and ended up being Phi Beta Kappa, graduating with a 4.0 by retaking two classes that I had gotten B’s in my freshman year. I went to a top ten law school and made the law review. I interned for two years at the Chicago office of a major Milwaukee firm and made more in 12 weeks during the summer than my parents made all year. I REALLY thought that I was hot. </p>

<p>I graduated and without even considering other offers, joined the same firm and immediately got put on the fast track for partner. I worked 80+ hours a week for nearly four years, never taking a vacation, seldom seeing friends, and literally never doing anything even remotely enjoyable. Making partner was the light at the end of the tunnel. This was the early 80’s, the “me” generation, and $200k a year awaited me if I just carried on a little while longer. </p>

<p>I made partner just after I turned 30, much to the chagrin of some other associates. I had sealed the deal by getting one very large client to switch to our firm through some of those vaunted ivy league connections. I firmly believed that I was better than most of the rest of my peers because of my background, superior intellect, and tireless work ethic. I continued to work very hard, and it made me hard. I didn’t like people, my friends annoyed me and I grew even more distant. My father told me that I had become a bit of a jerk. I thought that making partner would be a reprieve, but it was just the opposite. I had earned my keep and let everyone know it. I paid cash for a Mercedes and bought a big home just to show everyone how much I had made it. </p>

<p>Two years after making partner, I suffered a massive heart attack and nearly died. I spent nearly a month in the ICU. I had triple bypass surgery and a lengthy recovery. I got some cards, but the only people who came to see me in the hospital were my parents. I had been such an ass to my own brother that he wouldn’t even send a card.</p>

<p>It is sad to say that it took something like this to get me to quit smoking, quite drinking to excess, to start exercising (I had gained nearly 40 pounds), and to realize that I was completely alone in life. I had no friends, no significant other, and no prospects. I was a partner in a relatively prestigious law firm. I had nothing. </p>

<p>I asked to take a brief sabbatical upon my return, but it was denied. I worked 40-50 hours a week for a while and was criticized by senior partners for my lack of work ethic and inability to bring in new business. </p>

<p>I ended up leaving the firm the following spring and going to work for a client. The pay was less than one third of my previous compensation, but the job was a new kind of challenge and far fewer hours. I was a little bored at first and felt slightly guilty for not working more hours. I spent more time with family, reconnected with friends, and met the love of my life. We were married within the year. I sold the Mercedes when I bought her ring as a symbol of me giving up that old way of life. </p>

<p>Twenty-some years later, I can say without hesitation that the heart attack was the best thing that ever happened to me. It literally almost scared me to death. It is just pathetic that it took something so significant to make me realize how and where my life had gone awry. </p>

<p>Brevity was never my strong suit, for that I apologize, but the point of my post is this: true happiness is far more important than income, IQ, any type of social status, or anything else in this life. </p>

<p>Some of the people who still work at the firm make north of $500k a year now, but never once have I regretted leaving. Our household income and some sensible frugality allow us to lead a very comfortable life. My wife went back to work once our two children were in school, and we could probably stop working one of these years but neither of us have any interest in doing so because we both love our respective professions. My job allows me a great deal of flexibility, too, with eight weeks of vacation and flex time. I also get to leave two days a week in the fall to team teach a class at a local university. I never miss my son’s football games or my daughter’s recitals. You can’t put a price on that. </p>

<p>If you’re happy being a stoner and living in a studio on the east side, more power to you. If you love teaching, that’s a wonderful thing and you should stick to it regardless of the income. The same, too, goes for someone happy with the “chase” of clawing his or her way up the corporate ladder to afford a McMansion in Mequon and membership at an exclusive country club. </p>

<p>Those who do whatever it takes to be truly satisfied in life shouldn’t be criticized, they should be envied. Better yet, their behavior should be emulated.</p>

<p>So the moral of this cut and paste is that anyone who aspires to attend an Ivy League school and try and make it in the corporate world is destined to have a heart attack at 30 with the prospect of dying alone, estranged from family and friends?</p>

<p>In case you haven’t figured it out yet, life is what you make of it. Success is what you define it to be. Perhaps that means making partner at 30. Maybe that means having two kids at 30. Success in life and success in your career are not mutually exclusive things.</p>

<p>As far as money is concerned, the one thing I have noticed over the years is that it has a “multiplier” effect with individuals, in other words, if you are a total greedy, selfish human being, more money will only serve to multiply those qualities. If someone is a fairly down to earth person and is generally a decent person deep down, money won’t change that person drastically (perhaps he/she drives a nicer car and wears a nicer watch - that’s not a crime the last time i checked).</p>

<p>Fact is, certain people can’t handle success and money (classic cases of this syndrome are played out all the time in the entertainment industry, just turn on the E! channel and watch an episode of “E! Hollywood true story” – heck, look at the Anna Nicole Smith tragedy for your latest example)… mind you the majority of these people aren’t Ivy League grads…</p>

<p>Which brings us back to the main point – which is to say, I’m not sure what this has to do with people aspiring to attend an Ivy League school. The Ivies are such an easy target in this way, people love to take it out back like a used doormat and take turns beating the crap out of it like its a pinata.</p>

<p>I agree to some extent with the above poster. However, to me, the MAIN reason to go to an Ivy league school isn’t how much money you’ll make afterward, it’s the quality of the education you receive while you’re there. Nowhere in the post did the author talk about his love of learning. I believe he exploited his education for the allure of money.</p>

<p>Although the idea that it’s “mandatory reading” for people aspiring to an Ivy League school is one I’d argue with, i think the craigslist post does have some merits. It can be food for thought. </p>

<p>I know a bunch of people who have struggled with rather narrow-minded ideas of what it means to be “a success” or the life/career path that smart or ambitious people “should” take. Those narrow ideals work great for some people; for others they are a bad fit. Figuring out that they are a bad fit can take some time.</p>

<p>I actually just read a book saying these same things. Not the same story of course, but it had the same morals behind it. (I must say that I like your story much better.) I read the book outloud to my parents because it was very small and they started screaming at me saying that the book is crap. They told me that in America life is not at all about being happy, it is purely how much money you make. After that I just walked away from the table without saying a word and I rewrote the book in my diary (is that illegal?) My parents are in crummy jobs that they don’t enjoy and have not recieved any offers in their preferred field in over 25 years. I think this is why they have the attutude they have. Anyway, I wrote it in my diary so that one day 30 years from now when I think my life is bad because I can’t afford that penthouse suite in the Plaza I can reread the book and relearn this lesson. I think it is a very true, heartwarming story and thank you for sharing it.</p>

<p>Since ivy league schools do not give “academic scholarships”, the whole story is suspect.</p>

<p>“on the high honor role”</p>

<p>Also, you’d think anybody who was on an honor roll would know how to spell it.</p>

<p>I agree that the message of the story is fine (work/money/power isn’t everything, y’all), but I don’t think that it has much (anything, really) to do with going to an Ivy League school. There are selfish jerks everywhere, and people get wake-up calls like this from every walk of life. As the child of them, I am admittedly biased, but I have never been sure why all or even most Ivy Leaguers are thought of money hungry elitists. The Ivy Leaguers that I, personally, have met have all been very normal, grounded people–usually other people are much more invested in the “Ivy League” dream than my parents are. Sure, there are people like this at the Ivies and similar schools, but it’s not really news-worthy, in my opinion.</p>

<p>I enjoyed your story and found it inspiring. However there are two sides to this story, two cousins both to whom I am really close to are Harvard grads, actually ones graduating this year and the other last. They are both well on their way to lucrative careers in their chosen fields, getting recruited from the cream of the crop. SO far they are very happy and wouldn’t have changed their path for anything. I think it stands to reason that for some that “unstoppable drive” is the fast way to a short life, but for others that is the driving force of what sustains them and makes them feel whole. Its not fair to say if you continue to hold the bar high and aim for the stars, you are destined for unhappiness, dissatisfaction with life, burnout or physical ailments. For the vast majority I think going to the an ivy and enjoying the prestige it affords you is a ticket to a pretty satisfying life. I come from a family of high achievers, many of my family has attended ivy league/top schools, i am the lone exception. I do have regrets about not working harder but am still a very happy and content person. To me the bottom line is it comes from within, no matter where you go to school or what your surroundings, it all starts within your soul.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>I also wonder what exactly is an ‘Ivy League academic scholarship’. I have certainly never heard of one. None of the Ivies give out merit scholarships. So what could an ‘Ivy League academic scholarship’ possibly be? Perhaps somebody here can tell me what that is?</p>

<p>What suze and sakky said. That’s the first thing that jumped out at me. Bogus.</p>

<p>actually, i just received my fin aid package from my ED school (penn) and i got this merit Trustee Scholarship for academic achievement. its just 3500 of the 48K i need but its something.</p>

<p>sakky: it is made up, like the rest of that bunch of crap.</p>

<p>Our knowledge of life comes from many sources and experiences. tThank you for sharing your insights as to what you feel is important. It may cause some reader to pause, and reassess their own priorities.</p>

<p>Anyone seen the movie “Click?”</p>

<p>dont harass this guy or try to point out mistakes in what he is saying
it is his opinion and you know what I agree fully with him
I work my butt off, but sometimes I back off to actually lead a life
some people are way to into the whole idea of success and neglect any social/emotional success.</p>

<p>great thread, props to the original poster.</p>

<p>^^I second CollegeboundConf</p>

<p>I blame Capitalism</p>

<p>who doesn’t blame capitalism?</p>

<p>^Not me</p>

<p>pojoipnm</p>