Not sure why there is so much talk about the daughter yelling. We don’t know that she yelled or just got very adamant, assertive, and stronger in her second attempt to get her father to lay off. I think the key thing here to recognize is that the D asserted herself. I have two young adult daughters who are assertive women. I recall when my younger one was growing up, her strong willed nature was sometimes difficult to deal with in a parent/child relationship. But as an adult now, I am supportive and proud of how assertive she is as a woman. She recently asserted herself in a big way with a bank who was jerking her around on obtaining a mortgage and she asked to talk to a higher up and really asserted herself and got the approval. I recently prevailed in a legal matter and my daughters have remarked that they are proud of me for standing up for myself. Honestly, this teen in the thread should be applauded for standing her ground, particularly as a young female to an older male.
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
Assumes facts not in evidence. If the OP wants to clarify, fine. Until then, let’s move on from discussing the appropriateness of screaming.
One can be assertive without being obnoxious. It usually gets better results than telling someone, at any volume, to “get out” but maybe in your industry or neighborhood, that works.
I don’t expect someone in the professional world of work or in the neighborhood to tell someone to “get out!” But this is a teen talking to a parent, and it might not be the best choice of words, but is pretty typical of the age and within the home for a teen to go a bit overboard and tell the parent to get out of their room in the heat of the moment. I can recall my younger D as a teen and if she got upset, she might shut her bedroom door and not let me in if I knocked and would say to leave her alone until she calmed down first. Once she did, she could discuss the matter at hand.
I think, however, the discussion is veering from the point of the matter! The teen stood her ground and wanted the parent to respect that and stop pushing.
I really hope we hear back from the OP as to why the teen even needs to study over the summer.
Why is this a thread?
Wow, this got off the rails quick, TBH I didn’t know if it would even merit any comments. I just thought it was a cute story about a teen taking charge of her life and not being reliant on her dad to manage it. To clarify a few things…
She is 16, will graduate HS in 2021.
The studying is for 1-2 SAT subject tests. Her schedule didn’t really work to take them right after she finished the classes unfortunately, so she is going to need to refresh a bit. We discussed this earlier, and she is hoping to take them in August and get them over with. This isn’t something I’m pushing, just helping her budget time so next fall when she is out for a sport, studying for the ACT and taking a couple tough AP classes she doesn’t have this to worry about.
She didn’t scream at me. However, a switch flipped from a chill 16 year old watching Netflix to someone who was making it clear in no uncertain terms that this conversation was over.
Yes, I meant that any future (hopefully distant future) boy who tries to tell her what to do and thinks she will be the obedient 1950’s housewife is about to meet his maker. Obviously I’m exaggerating to try to be funny here. But I make no apologies for raising her that way. Her future husband will have the choice of either being in an equal partnership or being the subservient one. Pretty sure she would prefer the partnership, but she is certainly not going to be anyone’s doormat.
I think I have a pretty good open relationship with all of my kids. But the best with her. She’s pretty ambitious, and had told be many times she wants my help staying on track. We both listen to each other and have a respectful relationship. She isn’t a screamer.
For the last couple years I have said many times that 95% of the time she is a more responsible caring person than most of the adults I know, including myself. And 5% of the time she is completely irrational and crazy. In otherwords a normal teenage girl
Just another datapoint about studying for AP exams. Our very self-driven S decided in HS that he wanted to take some AP exams in addition to those he had AP classes for so it was totally self study.
He opted to just study from some AP prep books he found at the library and bookstores. He did it at his pace and it really was only as many hours as he chose and yes, he scored 5s on those exams. (If I had to guess it was maybe 30 hours all together studying for those 2 APs totally self study at times he chose.)
Good idea to let self-motivated folks take the lead. Just a thought that your D may not need a ton of prep time to do well on her AP exams.
Good job @dadof4kids it is a cute and funny story.
Amazing how a story about his daughter can go in so many directions on cc. I made this type of mistake many times with my kids. Part of being a parent, I guess. Good that she needs her down time. She deserves it. My son at one point put his arm around me and said “I will be fine, stop worrying” when talking about studying for Act or what not… Guess what… He was right. I think we need to give our kids more credit sometimes. I really can’t imagine the stress of school and trying to get into college these days from their perspective.
Great story! I love when my kid wakes me up a bit - is parents sometimes seem to think we always know best.
I wish some could refrain from sucking the good vibes out of every single thread. No need to always criticize and lecture.
Me, when DD was stressing over something: “how can I help?”
DD: “STOP HOVERING!”
Sometimes we just need to back off.
I’ve told this story before here, but when I was a senior in HS, I had the following text message conversation:
skimom: How are you doing on your applications for - what’s it called - Early Answer?
Me: They’re called Early Action, and they were due two weeks ago.
skimom: Oh.
Half hour later:
skimom: So, did you send them?
Me: eyeroll emoji
So while some kids do benefit from some direction, others have it under control and can go binge Netflix. 
I’m still amazed that there are people who expect their kids to study over the summer.
Except for instances when they were taking summer courses (to get annoying required courses like Health out of the way), my kids never cracked a book over the summer except for the required summer reading. And I didn’t expect them to.
I’m glad she stood up for herself and don’t care about tone.
I only wish she’d said August 14 instead of June 14. Summers need to be about rechatging
She has set her sights on a couple schools that require/recommend SAT subject tests. It’s either take them while she is swamped with other things during the school year or do it at the end of the summer, when she isn’t busy. She has a part time job and a couple EC’s that take some time but not that much. This studying will probably come entirely out of Netflix time. If she does it in the fall it’s out of sleep and social time.
She hasn’t taken a practice test yet, so I don’t know how much studying she needs to do. But I don’t think that much. Maybe a couple of hours a day on days that she isn’t busy anyway.
I’ve talked about her on other threads, but she isn’t one I push. I help her figure out what she needs to do. I don’t really care if she does the subject tests. But she wants to at least be able to apply to some reach schools that require them. So I’m just helping her figure out when the least painful time is to prepare for and take those tests.
Generally I’m not a big fan of studying too much during the summer. I think they need some down time. She definitely does, so I’m happy she asserted herself. I thought we could have the conversation now, but if she really is willing to go 3 weeks being a kid and not thinking about it at all I think that’s healthy.
I mis-read the thread title as “Tigger Dad reprimanded” and thought that CC member @TiggerDad was in big trouble with the moderators.
OP daughter has learned to compartmentalize. This is a valuable skill. Dad can schedule a meeting on the first available day next week.
I don’t really understand the point of this thread but have to say since it seems to have boiled down to her raising her voice (screaming undetermined) is that so awful? We are not a daily screaming household but darn sure we have all lost our temper with one another at times. Or disagreed and raised our voices - call it screaming if you like! 
@sherpa, I did too, and I was surprised someone was allowed to start a thread about that
Glad to hear she didn’t scream, lol. But just as some wonder why she’s got to study this summer, I wondered about the tone and the directive to leave. Other ways to ask Dad. And I do deal with the curtness, wish DH had ‘asserted’ himself when she started. So, to each his own. Mutual respect works.