<p>“But then, she grew up in a house with men - two brothers, a dad, a grandpa - who all have told her that men think with one thing. And it certainly isn’t always their cranium!”</p>
<p>I think that that’s a very distorted view of the world to give anyone. There really are men who don’t think like that. While I didn’t grow up with that kind of father, I have had the good fortune to meet other types of men including the one whom I married.</p>
<p>I never heard my husband or his dad say anything like that or act like that, and I have never heard my younger S say anything like that or act like that’s true. I can’t say the same for older S, but older S always did his best to find a way to be different than the rest of the family…</p>
<p>At the Master’s there also could be women standing out the gates holding golf clubs and wearing T-shirts calling themselves, “Tiger’s Club Fans”.</p>
<p>If either of my D’s were to sell themselves so short as to involve themselves with a married man? I’d be very suprised. I’d also know they had a lot of work to do on themselves and I’d encourage them to do so. Of course, if they didn’t know the guy was married and found out later? I’d be really suprised if they stuck around. They really aren’t the kinds of girls who would be into that kind of thing…“for love or money,” as the saying goes.</p>
<p>Personally I wouldn’t stay with anyone for money, but kids are a different story. I’ve decided to give Elin the benefit of the doubt. god knows her kids already see so little of thier father, it isn’t as if a divorce is going to help that out very much. You know, she might not love Tiger anymore, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t want her kids to love him. </p>
<p>Forget the money and fame for a second. Ask yourself: would I just up and leave the father of my children without first trying to work it out? My H wouldn’t cheat, imho, but he is such a fantastic father? I really can’t say with certainty that I’d be willing to just throw it all away over these pop-tarts.</p>
<p>Relating to 07Dad’s post #521 about the way marriage is viewed by many in modern society–it amazes me that so many blame gay marriage for eroding the “sanctity of marriage.” His observations in his post and the actions of Tiger and many others in the news show me that heterosexuals are their own worst enemy when it comes to besmirching marriage.</p>
<p>Let’s work on that! How about a California proposition making adultery a capital offense like it once was? [just kidding!!]</p>
<p>I hope she stays in this marriage and copying Tiger Woods. Get a boyfriend on the side, keep the millions. I hope the new prenup did not preclude that.</p>
<p>Really, Northstarmom? You don’t think teenage boys think this way? ;)</p>
<p>Because although I am lucky enough to have a great husband and father who have both taken their marriage vows very seriously, even both of these men said they were both were a little girl crazy in their teens which often clouded their judgement. </p>
<p>Did either of them treat girls like objects? No. Do my sons? No, again. </p>
<p>But the message they were sending her is that some boys will say things to you, to get you to like them and they have one objective. They may also care about the girl very much, but it is definitely part of the adolescent male wiring. Those hormones can cloud the rational thinking out. </p>
<p>Some men never grow out of this immaturity. Most do.</p>
<p>First boyfriend ever for DD cheated on her so she learned first hand how it felt. Funny thing was the girl wasn’t attractive at all, as is often the case. Opened the door though for this discussion between us.</p>
<p>So yes we basically had this same discussion:
I have always said to our DD any man who asks you to cheat with them IMHO is saying to you that you are replaceable and has no respect for you. I have also said to her if he cheats on her with you, what makes you think you are so special that he won’t do the same to you?</p>
<p>However, you control your own actions and I believe Tiger is the only one responsible for his actions. Sure the women are responsible for their own part but at least they didn’t do it inside of marriage. Do I think they were wrong? Certainly. Would I want DD to act in that way? NO! But ultimately Tiger bears responsibility for Tiger.</p>
<p>"But the message they were sending her is that some boys will say things to you, to get you to like them and they have one objective. They may also care about the girl very much, but it is definitely part of the adolescent male wiring. Those hormones can cloud the rational thinking out. "</p>
<p>Certainly, some males are like that. There also are some females who are like that.</p>
<p>However, just because adolescent (and older) males and females may be sexually attracted to someone doesn’t mean that they choose to act on those feelings. Every time a guy talks to a girl doesn’t mean he’s trying to bed her. </p>
<p>Just as is the case with females, there are men and teen-age boys who allow their big brains to make decisions. </p>
<p>I also think that teen girls have as strong sexual urges that teen boys do, but in general are more thoughtful about their decisions because that’s what society expects of them. If so many people didn’t make excuses for teen boys, they would act in a more responsible way, too.</p>
<p>Believe it or not, there are cultures that think that women are less in control of their sexual desires than are men.</p>
<p>IMHO, the dysfunction that can come with celebrity plays a huge part in all of this and the awareness of that status is especially damaging when it begins during childhood. When the needs and desires of a child rule a household it seems to me that it would be almost impossible to raise them with the tools that would allow for the kind of give and take necessary to make a marriage work.</p>
<p>How old was Tiger the first time he was on television - four, five possibly? I can imagine that every waking hour in that household was about prepping Tiger, exposing Tiger, training Tiger. How can adult Tiger be anything but a self-absorbed jerk?</p>
<p>Every so often you will read about a particularly gifted child in sports or the arts that has seemingly made it to adulthood with minimal baggage. I have wondered how the parents pulled it off. The needs of the child are important and the gift needs to be nurtured BUT it also gets the child a great deal of attention - perhaps too much of the wrong kind.</p>
<p>What fries my cookies is those people who think that the wife “deserves” what she got because she married a famous athlete/actor/politician/entrepreneur and “knew” that because he (or in some cases she) was rich and powerful that s/he would cheat. And that makes it her fault. No, it doesn’t. The golfer who introduced them (Parvenik?) apologized for causing her this pain. Get it? This is a moral, NICE man who thought he was doing a good deed. And he is successful…and judging by his reaction doesn’t cheat.</p>
<p>For whatever reasons, money, children, stability she may or may not choose to stay with Tiger. It is not for us to judge. I remember in high school know a family who’s father was a then famous actor. His “other” child was in elementary school. Did they “ask” for this mess? No. Simply put it is an overblown ego because people tell them that they are better than everyone and social convention doesn’t apply to them. And people like Tiger have enough money to hush up the bimbos. And, like Kobe, make up in a monetary and possibly in an emotional way, to save his marriage.</p>
<p>It’s really not worth frying your cookies over…this is all opinion.</p>
<p>I wanted to say, though, that there is a big difference between thinking that someone may have been able to predict something (based on much evidence) and that that person deserved what happened to her. I do not think that anyone here, especially me, thinks that Elin Woods deserved what happened to her. In fact, I am so convinced that she deserves better that I am against her selling her “forgiveness” to her husband for big money, in exchange for playing the dutiful wife in the press and undergoing a paid-for gag order.</p>
<p>I actually think that Elin should take what she can get NOW, get out to preserve her emotional well-being (narcissists like Tiger Woods are dangerous in many ways), and then make her own money by selling the story to the press. JMO, obviously!</p>
<p>I don’t know how you could have a marriage after your spouse bought your presence. It would just seem like a commodity to me and I don’t think I could be trusting or loving of that person again. In fact, I would probably find that as damaging as the adultery.</p>
<p>You can’t have a real, loving marriage, but you can have a “marriage contract.”</p>
<p>I’m with you. If you read the stipulations for the money, though, he is not only buying her presence and demeanor, but also her silence. She will not ever be able to tell her story and still get the moolah.</p>
JMO, obviously!</p>