<p>I will probably get ridiculed for this post, but here goes anyway–</p>
<p>As someone who tears up fairly easily (at songs, ceremonies, goodbyes, etc), I have a pretty good idea what’s coming at S’s HS graduation, not to mention his college’s matriculation ceremony and the actual goodbye… </p>
<p>Let the record show that I AM ready to let go. He is ready to go, and we are thrilled for him-- maybe even a bit envious! Of course I will miss him very much, but the issue is more emotion than clinginess. He IS our first, though.</p>
<p>Anyway, I REALLY don’t want to spend these memorable events buried in a hankie, wiping away tears. It’s happened before, and I find it frustrating and somewhat embarassing. Any tips or methods for holding it together?</p>
<p>My mom is the same way. Most parents I’ve heard of find graduation a lot easier than expected because it’s very formulaic and, if the kid goes to a large school, very long, hot, and uncomfortable. (Think: My mom was on stage during my graduation helping to hand out diplomas! Be glad you don’t have to deal with that and a propensity for tears!) My mom cried while saying goodbye, but that’s it. My college has a whole ceremony where students and parents are led by bagpipe procession to the gates of the school; the students go through, and the parents turn away. There were upperclassmen walking around with tissue boxes. :)</p>
<p>I think you’ll be fine. If you want you can emotionally prepare yourself beforehand by going through in your mind what speeches you’ll hear, what you’ll be seeing, etc. Try not to worry about it, though. Other parents will be crying, as well.</p>
<p>By the way, I think I’ve seen this question come up before. You are definitely not alone.</p>
<p>Please never feel embarrassed about being a passionate enough person to experiences all of life’s gifts and challenges in an overtly emotional way. To me, someone’s being able to show all of these feelings and emotions reflects a psychologically healthy person whose reactions are normal and appropriate. I, too, am a very emotional person who feels things, both good and bad, in very strong and passionate ways. I have come to view it as a strength and not a weakness, and I hope that you do too! You have SO many exciting (though poignant) events on your horizon. The h.s. senior year is chock full of these precious lasts…and coming firsts. Revel in them, even if that means bringing that hankie! I’m sure you’ll observe a SEA of them at some of these events!</p>
<p>I cry during Kodak and Hallmark commercials and I cry every time I see someone else cry. It used to embarrass me but doesn’t any more - less and less embarrasses me after age 50. I haven’t found anything that helps - I have wondered if renting a good tear jerker the night before might help. If my husband gave me grief for doing it or made me feel uncomfortable though, that might be what would me angry enough to stop crying - just long enough to give him a kick in the …</p>
<p>Thanks, Berurah
Both H. and I come from families where emotions were not shown. Guess now that I have my own family I’m letting it all hang out, even if I’d rather not!</p>
<p>Re: Kodak commercials and movies-- after probably dozens of viewings, I still can’t get through the end of “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Maybe a good strategy.</p>
<p>My daughter and I - horse lovers - practically had to leave the theater during the preview for Seabiscuit. I can’t even type “My Dog Skip” without tearing up a bit. That movie should have had a warning - there were about 4 kids and one almost 50 year old who shall remain anonymous left at the end of the movie who were so inconsolable, they couldn’t leave the theater under their own power. Try that one if you’re an animal lover.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s bad to cry and I don’t think you’ll be the only one crying, but if you need to pull it together quickly to congratulate at the end, take pictures, etc, taking a drink of water always calms me down, that might be a really obvious tip, probably LOL. That and holding my breath for a second or two. But I don’t think it’s bad, although if it frustrates you maybe it is. But if that’s because you feel embarassed, etc, if you look around you will probably see other people crying too. My school’s ceremony, like someone else said, isn’t very emotional, but it’s not nearly as bad as the big schools where the ceremony is like four hours long…I’d be crying from boredom LOL. It probably could have been emotional. Last year the speakers were just kind of humorous so that set a tone. This year if they are more sentimental it may be different.</p>
<p>Lspf72, when I read your posting I said, “That’s me!” I’m very emotional, but I wasn’t his way before I had kids. I remember my mom in tears every time I won a prize, every time I was at the school play and graduations, and that didn’t bother me at all; I just made fun of her giving her a queen size sheet before my graduation.
Do you want a tip to control your tears? Have them, there is nothing in this world better that showing emotions. Last year was my S’s graduation and I had my big bag full of Kleenex, but I was so busy taking pictures of him, that my eyes weren’t wet until I have the chance to hug him.
My D’s graduation is coming in less than two months, and I’m ready to cry, no shame in that.
Saying good-bye is a different situation, I cried for months and I still feel empty when he comes and goes, but that’s life and I’m happy I raised a great guy.
Congratulations to all the parents, you all should be proud of yourselves for giving your kids a good education and celebrate that with tears of joy.</p>
<p>I thought I would cry at both of my older kids graduations but distracting things happened at both of them that took the seriousness away and I think I just misted up a little. Part of my consolation was knowing I had one more child at home. That guy is in 8th grade now. I don’t have high hopes for not crying at his graduation.</p>
<p>The only thing I’ve gotten better at over the years is (usually) being able to cry silently at poignant moments. I still look like h*** afterwards, but at least I don’t usually have people turning around to see what all the blubbering is. I’ve cried many times about the prospect of graduation, saying goodbye at college, etc. Don’t know if this will make it easier or harder to get through the “real things”. D will be speaking at Graduation. Re: Kathiep’s distractions…I’m assuming H will be off taking pictures, and I have the prospect of also watching over 2 half- to fully-disabled Grandmas. (I can just imagine m-i-l needing to go off to the bathroom at approximately the same time that D starts her speech ). Give me strength! Graduation isn’t until June 11, so I’m counting on learning a lot, as usual, from CCers as they go through the process before me.</p>
<p>I used to cry easily, and the entire rest of my family and my H’s family are stoics who are outwardly sympathetic and inwardly rolling their eyes. I had no one who understood, till my D was born! She and I have both learned to hold it in much better, though, and I seldom cry anymore, and turn my head when I do. It was the strong opinion of those around me that my tears were a weakness, a sign of selfishness - they meant I was thinking only about myself. I think it was shame that made me get it under control. So it can be done. In fact, I think there are many who feel I don’t show enough emotion.</p>
<p>I cry easily too, and while I don’t care if it’s in a movie theatre or Broadway show (Miss Saigon), but it was kind of awkward when the floodgates opened at my D’s classmate’s Mom’s funeral, whom I had never met. All the other moms turned to me and asked if Cindy was a close friend. </p>
<p>I don’t see it as a sign of weakness or selfishness. It’s who and how I am.</p>
<p>I was so afraid of being an embarassment at my D’s convocation, but this other mom totally broke down, started wailing loudly about how was she going to live without her baby, and everyone turned to look at them. The baby was a lanky 6’ unshaven boy, had several unattractive piercings, long greasy hair, and a scowl. :rolleyes: I was so astonished that I could not cry.</p>
<p>Thanks, everybody. Maybe I’m not in the miinority after all–
Had to laugh at astrophysicsmom’s comment-- same here-- I DO manage to keep my emotions pretty quiet-- no wailing or loud, honking noseblows! </p>
<p>Underneath, I hope H. is more sensitive than he’ll let on. At least that’s what I tell myself. I think men are apt to be even more insecure regarding things like this.</p>
