<p>^^ Don’t forget that we have the program to furiously fan our faces … of course, the auditorium will be ridiculously hot; I’m sure I’ll have a convenient hot flash at that moment. Wind velocity from excellent program fanning will dry floods of tears. :)</p>
<p>Zebes</p>
<p>I am a sobber, not a dainty little cryer, so out of necessity (and so as not to be an embarrassment to family and friends) I have developed a technique that works for me when the floodgates start to open - I play an imaginary baseball game in my head for a minute or two until I can get my emotions under control. </p>
<p>No laughter from the peanut gallery please. :)</p>
<p>I just saw bethie’s response about baseball and Woody Allen…great minds think alike.</p>
<p>Zebes - Great idea for the sitter. It’s the best thing to do for all of you.
I was wondering though - what are we going to do when they get married??</p>
<p>Yes, good luck Zebes-- you deserve to experience the day to the fullest. Sounds like it has been a rough year or so.</p>
<p>Married! Woody, bite your tongue … no marriage yet. One emotional crisis at a time, please. 
Yeah, it’s been a rough few years, and I know it’s going to get a bit more rough as the Alzheimer’s consumes Mom, but the support system’s here. I’m blessed with a wonderful husband and great kids who’ve had on the job training that’s taught them compassion, empathy, self-discipline, crisis management techniques, etc. We just continue school at home … ya know? In all seriousness, my kids were off for winter break as my father was losing ground fast. DS essentially shouldered the burden of bathing his grandfather, lifting him into his wheelchair, and other things that preserved his dignity, and my DD made meals and did laundry and gave Mom hugs. It’s time for the kids to have some fun, and since my S’s so ready to be out of High School … it’s time to party! Ooooh … just made myself giddy! <g> Tears! What tears?! It’s time to party!! :)</g></p>
<p>Zebes … humming “Celebrate good times, come on!”</p>
<p>oh zebes—is there a Wedding Confidential site we can all move to SEVERAL years from now??? These life stages moment are making me feel OLD. Aging parents, high school graduations…m-m-marriages??? Say it ain’t so!</p>
<p>^^ It ain’t so! 
<< snort>></p>
<p>Zebes, willing to say anything to make you feel better, Astrophysicsmom … LOL</p>
<p>I’m joining this cryfest a little late – </p>
<p>But the one thing that does it for me (to me?) is a good rendition of “Sunrise, Sunset” from Fiddler on the Roof. Especially when they play it at the wedding of the child of a good friend.</p>
<p>I DO find that one thing that helps me is not to fight it, but to relax my body and feel the emotion. Somehow that makes the tears stop, or at least diminish, without losing the emotion.</p>
<p>Dear Fellow Sobbers,
Today I watered the grass in the Boston Public Garden with my tears, wishing you were all here with me.
As I entered the Gardens, a little girl holding a homemade sign stood in front of some beautiful tulips. What looked to be her grandparents were taking her picture. As I got closer I saw the writing on the sign-“daddy, I miss you. Please come home soon.” I tried to stifle the tears so much my nose was twitching, but I succeeded. I walked a little further and wouldn’t you know it a photographer was taking pictures of a bride and groom. Well folks, that did it. Big fat tears rolling down my cheeks. Didn’t even know anyone and there they ripped. As I walked on all red nosed and eyed, I had the consolation there is a cc community that understood.</p>
<p>^^^^^^totally and completely ^^^^ your post bringing tears on now :)</p>
<p>Okay, so how did you all do at graduation? I was surprised, as I only had a very tiny teary moment at the actual ceremony, last night. (Probably because of all the craziness and last minute finals, handing in of projects, papers, books, etc. It was more of a relief, and great fun to see him smiling at the funny spots in the speeches and singing with the rest of the class, etc.)</p>
<p>However, I completely lost it last week at the ‘senior walk’ through the whole school (in cap and gown with P and C on the loundspeakers). The second graders provided a farewell program with cards, speakers and songs specially picked for the outgoing seniors. THAT was emotional. (yes, it is a very small school pre-K though 12)</p>
<p>Well, you made it (sigh)!</p>
<p>No news here, because S. doesn’t graduate until the 24th. Congrats to all your recent grads!</p>
<p>Well,I was worried…darling D was one of the graduation speakers and she gave a speech most politicians would envy. It was targeted and insightful and spoke to the many advantages the graduates have had being at their school. I only choked up at the end when she got to the last line about school being home forever…she choked up to. I only cried a little.</p>
<p>THen, I had to stand and shake hands with every graduate(I’m on the Board of Trustees and the Superintendent thought it a grand idea). I know many of these kids very closely and when several of them came to me and hugged me - then I was crying…I will miss them all as they fly away. I gave my dearest one a special hug but did not really cry for her…I was too happy and proud! And I know she will always know where her home is as well.</p>
<p>Misty now…but I made it!</p>
<p>MikksMom</p>
<p>I didn’t get teary much at the graduation ceremony itself…I was seated next to DD’s college roommate’s Mom and we promised ourselves we wouldn’t. I did cry when DD gave DH and I a lovely card thanking us for being her parents and for everything we’d done for her. I just burst out crying and said something like “I hate that you’re all grown up, darnit!” (I didn’t say darnit!) Then my Mom and Dad gave her the traditional gold pen with her name engraved on it in a lovely engraved case with her h.s. name and graduation year. That made me a little emotional, because I remember my grandfather giving me a very similar pen when I graduated.</p>
<p>Yeah, I made it too. The weather was perfect too. Somebody must have been smiling on us yesterday!</p>
<p>I didn’t tear up at all, but there were so many stressors that day that my emotions were held way down.</p>
<p>For those with grads/weddings etc coming up, the rolling your eyes up and down (briefly) does work. I’ve used it for years ever since reading about it in Working Woman. I tended to tear up when we had parties (going away, retirement, baby/wedding showers) as well as when I got mad which isn’t great in the work place. But a quick up-and-down with the eyeballs seems to help and if you do it quick enough nobody notices. </p>
<p>However, for some occasions like graduations, tears are not only allowable but right, imho. You’ve seen that kid through everything the first fragile 14/18/21 yrs of life can throw at him/her. You deserve a few pricelessly overthetop emotional moments and anybody who thinks otherwise is heartless! I’ve got an 8th grade graduation and then my girl is off to boarding school in 3 months. It’s gonna be a weeper summer – somebody alert the Weather Channel!</p>
<p>Just came upon this thread! Thought all the suggestions on how to handle tears at high school graduation could be used at the upcoming deliverance of our children to their respective colleges on move-in day. Want to share a family story with you:</p>
<p>Our youngest child, a daughter, will leave for college next week (Older D moved back to school for her senior year August 9th). The three of us were sitting at dinner the other night and D’s big old kitty jumped up to sit beside her on the chair, as she does most nights. D started sobbing right there, which prompted me to start in. We looked over and DH was crying!! Poor man has lived around all women for so long we’ve turned him into a marshmellow!!</p>
<p>Later that evening, I thought I should do an Internet search on “Ways to Keep From Crying”. DD and I had quite a laugh over what turned up on the web! Thought I would share the results of my findings with you:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Take deep breaths, helps to calm you. I have tried this without much success.</p></li>
<li><p>Blink rapidly several times and look into a bright light. This does seem to help!</p></li>
<li><p>Look crosseyed - puts pressure on the tear ducts. Might work but you might not have any parents wanting to get to close to you on move-in day!</p></li>
<li><p>Bite your tongue or lip. The pain takes your mind off the emotional situation (???)</p></li>
<li><p>Keep your shoulders down and force your shoulder blades together - sounds strange to me, but I’ll try anything!</p></li>
<li><p>Recite simple math facts in your mind (6-4=2, 5+3=8, etc.). Switches your thinking from the emotional side of your brain to the problem solving side. This seems to really help, but I find I have to say the facts aloud, something else that might make parental company at college functions scarce.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>So…if you see a middle aged woman on college move-in day who appears to be hyperventilating (but who is actually deep breathing), blinking rapidly while looking crosseyed into the sun, bleeding from the mouth, with her shoulders down and chest out (the result of forcing your shoulder blades together), muttering 7X2=14, 9-3=6, take pity on her. And please, come and bail her out of the local jail should they take her away. Gee, I hope I get to participate in some of the parent orientation activities before they haul me off!!</p>
<p>I also think we are not alone. No matter what you think of Bush 41 and 43, I remember reading a lovely story. Former President Bush said he had asked his physician at Mayo for “a drug of some kind” so he wouldn’t cry at his son’s inaguration. My husband is a physician with a master’s degree in pharmacology. I have told him on many occassions he could become a rich man by developing such a drug!</p>
<p>MidWestParent - I think I’ll just print out your post and keep it handy. I laughed so hard it hurt.</p>
<p>Loved it, midwestparent! I think this is a big week coming up for a lot of families out there.</p>