This is what struck me as part of your equation.
You don’t even have a bachelors degree yet and you’re already thinking PhD? I’m glad you’ve thought ahead, but your wife also has some say in her life.
I had completed my Master’s thesis (research and results in language acquisition/speech path ) and my professors were grooming me for the PhD. The dissertation was almost a given.
It took me two years of research, and then I wrote up my thesis with several edits, suggested by committee members, and was going through the hurdles of presenting my findings. My professors really wanted me to stay at that university as a PhD. All I had to do was present my dissertation.
I was so close, but I was tired after 10 years of being broke, and I just wanted to earn some decent money to get a car (I had a bicycle with a large basket), get new furniture, eat a decent meal, etc. So I went out in the field, and thankfully, my discipline had jobs, left and right. I finally had money to go out to eat!
I have no regrets. So what? I didn’t earn my PhD, but I was still on everyone’s list as an expert in my area. I know I earned a lot more money being out in the field, and that was important to me. My professors were established, so they were earning a livable wage. I knew I couldn’t get close to that number as a new phD, but I wanted a house.
The point is you have a wife, who no doubt supports you, but your studies only support you. You don’t know how long it will take you to get through your Bachelors’, Masters’ and PhD.
I wasn’t married yet, but I was in a relationship. Earning a PhD is not linear. Things, like life, get in the way. If you are thinking that within the next two years, you’ll have your bachelors’, and then your Masters will come and then you’ll have your PhD. On paper, it may look that way. It doesn’t work that way. There are lots of hiccups in the process.
What if children arrive on the scene- how will you help support a wife and kids? What if in the process of your thesis studies, one of your committee is no longer available? Maybe they’ve been recruited by another university, or maybe, like in my case, one of them passes away? I had to restart certain sections of my research.
You’re making decisions now based on events that haven’t currently happened.
First, see if you can get into an undergrad school to earn your Bachelors. Take it one step at a time.