<p>jym–condescending toward you or about the play? Did you select the play? Good idea to keep quiet since you’ll be with her tonight. At least she didn’t cancel at the last minute.</p>
<p>What kinds of things was she saying?</p>
<p>I’m dying to hear how tonight goes.</p>
<p>Prefer not to get into it right now. But she was condescending towards me. I bit my tongue.</p>
<p>Oh, dear. This does not bode well for tonight.</p>
<p>There will be another couple (and our spouses) there. She would not do that in front of others.</p>
<p>BTW, with there being 6 of us tonight I am betting they will want to order a bottle rather than a glass of wine, which will mean they’ll want to do one bill. I have “prepped” my DH (who would typically be the type to let it go and pay the bill) and I will do my best to keep my trap shut when the finances are discussed.</p>
<p>I see where this is bugging you. When you finally made dinner plans a month or 2 later, was is discussed or assumed that this was the payback dinner? I think this is important to know. If not discussed, your friend may have forgotten that she mentioned taking you out(funny how some conveniently forget things that cost them $$$).</p>
<p>If it were me, that payback dinner would have been ASAP…but that’s me. Don’t say a thing, see what happens when the check comes. If they don’t say anything and you have to pay(because of the b-day thing)…I would still expect a dinner from them.</p>
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<p>You’re far more patient…IMHO a bit too patient with your “friend” than I or most of my friends/acquaintances would be. </p>
<p>Among my female friends, the above behavior would result in the offender being condescended in return at best or confronted/yelled at for her poor behavior. </p>
<p>Among my male friends…the same as above…with the possibility the male offender may end up on the floor from a NYC style knuckle sandwich.</p>
<p>If I’d called her out on it yesterday it would make tonight really uncomfortable. Rather not do that. SHe did refer to herself as a “manipultive b*tch” when discussing somrthing that occurred with her sis in law. I smiled broadly… inside :)</p>
<p>geeps-
quick summary:
Dinner was originally our thank you dinner. She unilaterally changed it , invited mutual firends (who I plan to sit by tonight) and announced this was for her husbands upcoming birthday (a week away). I delicately reminded her that it was supposed to be our thank you dinner. She claimed to have forgotten and then tried to weazel out by instead paying for last nights dinner (we shared an appetizer and main course, btw). I stood my ground, with the cc supporters behind me, and said no I didnt want to change the thank you dinner to another night nor did I want to exclude my DH, since we BOTH hosted her, and declined to have lat night’s dinner (the 2 of us) be the thank you dinner, telling her I was sure she would explain it to our mutual firends and they can work it out.</p>
<p>LOL…what a mess…good luck tonight</p>
<p>Please, try to be cheery. Let the waiter know your “friend” is treating you, then smiley nicely and ask if the other couple wants their own check. oh yes, order something besides the bottled wine.</p>
<p>We are counting on you!</p>
<p>They are in the back seat right now. I told her in last weeks email how I felt. Ball is in her court.</p>
<p>Here’s my husband’s best advice to me over our 29-year marriage: think it, don’t say it. </p>
<p>Be strong!</p>
<p>jym – kudos for standing your ground!</p>
<p>So this is someone you consider a “friend” ? My “friends” are people I enjoy being around, they are pretty much all nice to me and to others, considerate and generous. If someone is otherwise I generally don’t consider them “friends” and I don’t go out of my way to spend time with them. But that’s just me… My wife - who is actually nicer than me and has more friends, tends to “keep score” more than I do. If someone treats us or has us over she feels obligated to return the favor, and after we entertain someone twice she gets a little edgy if they haven’t invited us over. I tend to just go with the flow and accept the generosity of others and don’t mind if I find myself on the paying end a few times extra. I don’t mind picking up a check but I also won’t fight someone else for a check (unless my wife insists that I do because it is “our turn”)</p>
<p>This friend of yours sounds like someone I would avoid, unless she has other redeeming characteristics… :D</p>
<p>I’m exhausted and happily staying home tonight in sweatpants. I just about want to make some popcorn and sit and watch this unfold. Any chance you could slip off to the bathroom and text us some updates and we’ll tell you what to say if things get uncomfortable?</p>
<p>An old sales trick - the first who speaks “loses” - so when that check comes, be absolutely quiet and still. Make them speak first.</p>
<p>Hmmm, Jym is probably at dinner now, I rather hope she orders an appetizer & dessert as well as that bottle of wine ;)</p>
<p>Hey it’s a birthday celebration! A bottle of Dom Perignon for the table!!</p>
<p>Well, it worked out fine. A few funny moments, like when we were trying to sit down. But it was ultimately fine. It ended up with the ladies at one end and the men at the other. I got to sit next to the third lady and it all worked out. They split the bill 2/3 , 1/3 and we sat quietly. I thanked her. Thought she’d respond by saying thanks for our hospitality for a week, but that didn’t happen. Oh, we each brought birthday cards, and my friend did announce to the waiter that it was a birthday celebration, so one of their desserts was comped :)</p>
<p>Hope you ordered the most expensive entree on the menu! :)</p>