For 17 years, you’ve never asked for the full story of his difficult birth?..
It sounds like you’re describing forceps.
I don’t mean to judge, but the fact that she didn’t speak much English - it would have been a kindness for you to have been there to at least serve as a go-between and help inform and reassure her. I had a traumatic delivery for a variety of reasons and I at least understood everything being said around me AND had a “translator” insofar as my H was BFFs with all the maternal-fetal medicine staff, neonatologists, etc. She must be a saint to have held that all in.
That is funny! But you’ll scare some people with that observation.
For the OP, I think when husbands were first allowed and encouraged to be in the delivery room, it wasn’t very fair to most of them since they were having the baby too, in a way. They were expected to be labor and birth advocates, labor coaches, cameramen, etc. It is much better now when they can just be there for the woman giving birth and hand over some other duties to a professional doula and/or other family member. I can just see the OP getting someone sympathetic to wipe his brow and make sure he’s doing well! Maybe he can see a grandchild being born.
My H did well, but he was a physician in training. In other ways, that fact didn’t suit us since he was a resident and they all know the chain of command and all that goes with it. Stupid decisions were made, some were really stupid, and we decided to have a home birth the next time. For our premie twins, the hospital was the right place (although I wish they’d done a better job), for our full term, uncomplicated single, home was just fine. We actually lived across the street from a hospital so we didn’t have any worries.
@romanigypsyeyes - don’t worry! There’s a learning curve to everything and once you get more familiar with pregnancy and childbirth, things that freak you out now will not be as scary. I had a copy of a Nillson book about conception and pregnancy and I couldn’t even look straight at some of the birth photos at first.
The first I heard of any problems with S2 was many years later. She claims she told me sooner but she didn’t. I would have reacted had I known. I was clueless.
I don’t recall how long they were in the hospital. I don’t think it was excessive. They came home and things were normal. He was a small baby and he is still small but no health problems thank God.
I’ve posted before a little bit about him. He will be a senior next year. He plays football even though he is small. He is fighting to be a starter. They do conditioning and 7 on 7’s all through the summer. Right now he rotates in every other series on defense. The season starts in 5 weeks. I can’t wait for football to be over. It takes far too much time. Obviously, he won’t play in college.
But he might as well finish it out and see what happens. The first time he ever played football the coach, who just happened to be the commissioner, this was in Pop Warner, didn’t want to coach him so on his second day of practice he shipped him off to another team lying that his team had too many players. He ended up playing a lot even though he was playing with older boys. The new coach didn’t even blink, he treated him like a million bucks, we still love that guy, he now coaches basketball at S2’s high school.
He’s gotten better and better every year. He’s started every year, except one, all through youth football and freshman football and the last two years of JV so this is his first shot at varsity. First and last shot.
He is a funny little guy. It has been a great summer so far. Not to get too far off topic, but his older brother just got back from a trip to the University of FL, he liked the campus a lot, even though he is a junior at FSU already.
I do not plan on ever reading pregnancy/childbirth books. I have worked/studied in reproductive and maternal health for the last few years. There is a reason why after graduating with my MPH with a focus in reproductive health I chose to go into a history field for my PhD. I actually just got done revamping a syllabus for my advisor’s course about sexuality, gender, and health in the US and made it a point to add a whole week of lectures about the state of MCH in the US. I am glad that this is not the field that I work in regularly… I think it would scare me away entirely from the idea of pregnancy/childbirth!
I have seen enough births (admittedly, most were complicated and not normal deliveries) to last me a lifetime. There is a reason I did not go into medicine! Lol.
Incidentally, when I was typing out my last response to this thread, Mr R walked by and I told him that he was to be in the hospital room with me when I was giving birth. He got a little pale and asked if there was something I needed to tell him…
@romanigypsyeyes, I read What To Expect When You’re Expecting when I was pregnant. I loved that book and made myself wait to read the next chapter until I’d actually reached that part of my pregnancy. That’s one book that really meant a lot to me. Not a lot of overly dry material, just kind of “here’s what you may be feeling” stuff every month.
Lol romani (last part of your post ).
I loved that book too, @Nrdsb4, and What to Expect the First Year. Both so helpful and reassuring.
My husband stayed with me for most of my 56 hours of induced labor. The second night the nurses let him sleep in a vacant room. He handled the c-section okay until the doc walked away and left bloody footprints.
My birth regret is for some reason that defies logic now I refuse to let him cut the cord. I think he is still ticked about that.
The second labor was only 24 hours from admission to c-section and he stayed for that too.
Since we were 90 minutes from home he couldn’t reply escape.
As a male, I don’t plan on having any kids, or even a girlfriend. Maybe in the future I’ll lust for a relationship, but right now, it’s a no-go.
Yea, bloody footprints from the MD would be definitely disturbing. Glad everything worked out @KKmama.
We’re scaring the yung’uns, people. The topic isn’t “Labor and Delivery Horror Stories.” Though I did notice this phenomenon when I was pregnant. Everyone I knew wanted to tell me the worst childbirth story they’d ever heard. I always wondered why. :-S
lol this is the parents cafe. We talk about this stuff.
It’s funny, I don’t think any other Dads have actually chimed in here yet.
LOL @LasMa don’t worry, CC parents scared me long ago 
(I’m kidding! Ever since I was young, I have never, ever understood the appeal of pregnancy and childbirth. I remember people asking if I wanted to feel their child kick in their belly. NO! I don’t want to feel a body moving within yours!)
I blame my sister for making me watch X-Files with her when I was very young…
Oldest son turns 28 this week. So, I think times have changed and some of this could have also been dependent on the particular hospital and doctors-had a C section because of pre eclampsia and H was not allowed in the delivery room . They had him stand right outside the delivery room though , brought our baby out and had him carry him to the nursery. Second son was V BAC and he was there during the whole labor and got to cut the umbilical cord that time. I would not have been happy if husband had not wanted to be there and involved in all of this;. Women do need support during childbirth and luckily most men do provide that. But, if a dad can’t be there for the delivery, at least there are ways to still be a great dad.
Oh Romani, I love the gymnast. He would roll over and kick my ribs, and I would turn on my side and say “no”. Just a little nudge, and he’d move over.
He’s still the same sensitive, wonderful young man.
I’d do,it all again, given
The chance. It’s a miracle.
I watched a pregnancy in health class about 2 years ago and remember telling myself not to look away. My friend beside me kept laughing throughout her trying to squeeze the sucker out and turned his head away when she was successful. The best way I could describe the part when the baby came out is with the word “sneeze.”
D was also pretty willing to move when I gave her a nudge. She had hiccups occasionally which I liked. It made her seem like a real soon to be person.
That is really my favorite memory of pregnancy-feeling the babies move. It really IS a miracle.
I really do take your guys’ word for it, but it’s just not an experience I’m in any rush to have. Different strokes for different folks. 
(On the other hand, Mr R would carry a kid in a heartbeat if he could. My ex was the same way. Hm… I think I have a type.)