Each year, I see similar posts from new freshman and transfer students. You are NOT alone, and this is normal and common. Everyone does not already have a permanent friend group. Your friends from home are not all having a great time. Your family is not going to forget you. You are smart enough to be there. You can handle college and will not flunk out if you do the work. There is a cure for what troubles you: Time.
You need to give your college a chance. Many of you will be second-guessing your decision. Buyer’s remorse is normal. Think about the sound reasons you chose your school and focus on them. Don’t succumb to “if only…”, because that’s a negative waste of energy. Get out of your dorm room and find your people. Take time to recharge alone in your room when you need it. But you do need to try, because you won’t meet people or have fun if you are sitting alone in your room with the door closed. (See the pinned post by bopper at the top of this page on things to do to meet people.)
Every student has some kind of struggle in the beginning. Some of you keep it to yourselves, some of you soldier on, some of you share with trusted people. This is a time of big, unsettling changes in your life. You have temporarily left behind your comfort zone, family and friends. Understand that this is something you have to get through, and you will. You are becoming an adult and it’s hard work. The vast majority of you will find friends and come to enjoy your college experience. If you put effort into doing your work and making time for social opportunities that arise, time will fly. Before you know it, winter break will be here.
I feel for each of you and I know how hard it is. I promise you that things will get better, but you have to give it time. This is a blip in your life. You will get through this and be a better person because of it.