To write a Masterpierce: A case-study INSIDE

College Essays
1

<p>**Lots of former students I’ve worked with have been itching
me to post this online, so I figure I’ll save myself some repetition
by just making a public thread on this hahaha.</p>

<p>For about four years I’ve read essays by students; for
two years I’ve been critiquing them at this site. I found
it fascinating how some people used literary techniques to
a perfection, while others used the same techniques only
to reflect as a clear, purposeful attempt to impress adcoms.</p>

<p>Some essays shined with pure simplicity, while others simply
looked like a 6th grader wrote them. </p>

<p>And for those people, trust me, I let them know about it.</p>

<p>So really, what distinguished the extraordinary escape from the
ordinary world? The answer: the flow. Through the flow of the
essay, a critical analysis can discover any hint of fake writing,
the type that you read from a how-to book and insert in a
reckless matter. </p>

<p>The hardest part of this problem is that you can’t necessarily
find it by dissecting each sentence individually. It’s just something
you can “sense.” When adcoms read your essays, they go off
that gut, and in the process detect something that’s wrong with
your essay. </p>

<p>At Dartmouth I recently brought this question up to an admissions
officer. He smiled and said, “you should be an admissions officer.”</p>

<p>While universal truths still remain–a gripping opening sentence and
no inadvertent spelling errors–the structure of the essay must
be the same throughout. The voice must be the same. THAT, is
a masterpiece, something that’s completely YOU, not the essay
that will get into Newsweek Essays of the year. **</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>**Now, some things I did right and wrong with that essay.

  1. I like using dialogue a lot, and I wasn’t afraid of shying away from it
    because it’s just my writing style.
  2. I used the same style of writing all throughout. From reading the first
    half of the essay, you can predict the style in which the last half would
    be written.
  3. I added a bit of personalized pandering to the individual school, heh.
  4. I was NOT intimate enough in my experience to get a good feel of my
    personality. Something I wanted to do, but due to word restriction and
    the lengthy nature of the story I couldn’t fit in. </p>

<p>Oh, and this essay got me into summer programs and colleges I had no
business of getting accepted into with my GPA.**</p>

2

<p>what can people do if they’re just not good writers, if they just can’t get a feel for putting words together? in the long term, they can read, but if a student is applying to college next fall though, is there anything he or she can do to improve? it’s hard to acquire a skill whose proof is “felt” in the “gut.” if taking tips and implementing them sounds fake, what else is there?</p>

3

<p>faustarp: Colleges know that not every student who applies is good at writing. Furthermore, an essay you write one day won’t be the same as an essay written a year from then. That’s because you change. It won’t sound fake if you write what you feel, and not worry about trying to impress others.</p>

4

<p>I should have been more clear in my post…I am going to be a college freshman, so it’s not really my concern. I am just wondering about this because I figured it would be the question of others. plus, since this was supposed to be about masterpiece writing, I thought I could get some writing tips in general…</p>

<p>and actually, your answer is really good. so all is well. :)</p>

<p>as much as I love looking over other people’s writing, I am an average to poor writer myself. I have gone back and looked at my common app essay from last year and I would be subtly suggesting a complete rewrite or change of topics if I got it as a PM from someone in this forum. it is way too formal AND it rambles.</p>

5

<p>i actually have the same problem as faustarp</p>

<p>i can pick out good writing but i just can’t produce a “wow” piece. My biggest problem is that i am very to the point so I tend to leave out all the in depth descriptions and when I do put them in it doesn’t flow</p>

<p>any tips will be appreciated</p>

6

<p>I pride myself on my creative writing, but when it comes to writing about my actual experiences, it always seems to fall flat. I end up sounding like a brochure to visit Taylorville (We are very active in our community, and our own Advanced Placement Avenue features the latest in shopping and dining! Fun for the whole family!) Could I just choose the “Topic of choice” option, and submit a creative piece? Or…how can i go about letting them know more about me without sounding so bland and fake?</p>

7

<p>visionquest09: You don’t need a lot of in depth descriptions to write a good essay.</p>

<p>TaylorFTW: You were trying too hard to sound creative. Honestly, if you were having lunch with a friend, and wanted to have some conversation about something, would you ever say what you just said? Or, in a more personal environment, if you were just sitting in your room contemplating something, would you say what you just said? No. Why? Because it’s not really who you are. You should try to not sound a different way, if you know what I mean. In other words, just speak and get your thoughts out, without trying to adjust your tone in order to sound a certain way.</p>

8

<p>Wait wait wait, so basically your advice is that the essay should maintain the same style throughout? Ummmm, yeahhh…</p>

9

<p>Umm…was this supposed to be a stellar essay? It’s good, yeah, but it’s really general. Take out Key Club, and you can insert basically any activity in there. It demonstrates the leadership and determination of the applicant, but I doubt that it would stand out amongst hundreds of other candidates writing about their leadership as editors-in-chief, team captains, etc. If I can easily steal this essay (don’t worry, I won’t) because it describes my experiences as much as yours, the essay is not personal enough.</p>

10

<p>“I pride myself on my creative writing, but when it comes to writing about my actual experiences, it always seems to fall flat.”</p>

<p>The college essay and your creative writing are two entirely different types of writing that require unique approaches. You can be creative in a college essay, but you have to keep in mind that it’s about you - not a character, not the setting - YOU. Many essays written by obviously creative people fail to succeed because they try to incorporate a theme, or a lesson for the reader to contemplate; they ask and try to answer general questions about life without realizing that this isn’t the point. People read Dostoevsky and Faulkner to learn about life and the human identity. They read your admission essay to learn about you, or (at the very least) your view on life and human identity. Don’t teach the adcoms and, even more importantly, don’t preach to them.</p>

11

<p>dchow08: you caught me. When i write stories, it almost just comes to me. When i sit down and <em>intend</em> to write, it comes out forced. I’m still working on that. would you be willing to look over my rough draft once it is finished?</p>

12

<p>TaylorFTW: I’m good, huh. No, I don’t want to read any rough drafts anymore. I have set a few requirements before I read any more essays: you love it, you have asked your close friends to read it to check that it sounds authentic and smells authentic, and there are no typos. Only then can you ask me to read it. When you go from a draft to a good essay, you should keep the end in mind, that it should be authentic. Give the draft a few days where you don’t even look at it, and then read it outloud and if it doesn’t sound authentically you, it’s not good enough.</p>

13

<p>thanks. i think i’ll let it rest a while, edit it, and then wait till school starts and ask a teacher/writing lab staff to edit it. thanks for your advice.</p>

14

<p>TaylorFTW: You can ask adults, but also make sure you ask your close friends too, because they probably know you better and can tell whether it sounds like you, better than the adults can.</p>