<p>*The comments about God being willing are not petty. I have been there. Such comments can hurt a great deal. For those who have not experienced the pain of infertility: first be grateful, second, take our word for it. *</p>
<p>Good heavens…no one is saying that if someone were to make such comments to your face in a private conversation that it wouldn’t deeply hurt. </p>
<p>I had fertility problems as well, and it broke my heart every time a friend or colleague would announce a pregnancy. Every month was a roller-coaster of emotions of hope and then despair. </p>
<p>Michelle didn’t make her comments in some kind of small private conversation with an infertile woman. that would have been cruel. </p>
<p>I used the analogy of a parent announcing that they’re blessed that their child-soldier came home safety. If when that child lands on American soil and the parent exclaims on camera that they have been blessed by God to have their child home safety, then they aren’t insulting or being cruel to someone in a massive TV audience that lost a child overseas. </p>
<p>Now if that same joyful parent were to say it to a grieving parent in some kind of “face to face” private conversation, that would be insensitive.</p>
<p>Ive had a 2nd trimester miscarriage. Yes it is sad & since I had labor with mine, it was physically painful as well.
Still better than having the baby die soon after birth.
Now perhaps she can concentrate on the children she has.</p>
<p>My concern is more for the girls in the family than for Michelle or Jim Bob. Michelle births these babies and after the initial few months of nursing, hands the babies off to the older girls to raise. Sure, having all these kids isn’t a problem for Mom because she puts the majority of the child care, cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc. onto the backs of the daughters.</p>
<p>Their daughters need someone to help them understand that their purpose in life is not to birth as many babies as possible and serve their man. Jim Bob has convinced his family that the control he holds within the family is normal.</p>
<p>“Their daughters need someone to help them understand that their purpose in life is not to birth as many babies as possible and serve their man”</p>
<p>-why? so that they are living under somebody else’s value system, not their family value system? Parent can teach their kids value system, as long as it is not criminal. What is criminal in Jim Bob? What kind of abuse is documented / known. Apparently they found their own way of making very good money and supporting pretty lavish life style. I believe that this is real reason for people getting angry with them. Envy is our king no matter where we are!
I have 2 questions/concerns:
-why do we care so much about apparently very happy and content family? Do they ask us to help them? Maybe I missed something.
-If I missed something and they have ask for help, how anybody can help or change anything in their life style? do we want birth restrictions like in China? Maybe some are for it, definitely not me. I am not for any government regulations, let alone family type.</p>
<p>"And how do we really know they are a “happy and content” family? "</p>
<p>-just as much as about your family being “happy and content”. not much and we cannot be nosy about it. None of our business… there is police if something wrong is going on. We are not police. We need to stick more to our own problems. Nobody in this world is perfect. maybe we should think twice about throwing stones.</p>
<p>Of course parents have the right to instill their own family value system. As children grow older, don’t they have also have the same right to develop their own set up values? </p>
<p>The older girls in this family have been taught that their job is to birth babies and serve their husband. If this is the path that they freely want to live, that’s fine. My concern is that it has been drilled into them that this is the only path that they are allowed to follow and anything different, would be viewed as ungodly. </p>
<p>They can’t date. They go straight into a courtship with a previously arranged young man who is OK’d by Jim Bob. They stay under the parents control until marriage. They raise their siblings. They do all of the cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, errands, and teaching of the siblings (after the Mom teaches the little ones the basic reading skills). Mom pumps out the babies and each additional baby means more work for the girls. They don’t have a choice in the matter. It’s all they know.</p>
<p>I’m not throwing stones at them. They can do as they wish as long as the children are well cared for and loved (which they are thanks to the older daughters in the family). I hope that someday, the girls will understand that there are many different paths to choose in life and the choice is theirs to make, not Jim Bob’s or Michelle’s.</p>
<p>We cannot be “nosy”? Oh goodness, when you turn your family into a public spectacle, you are making your lifestyle everyone’s business. If the Duggars hadn’t fame-whored themselves, I wouldn’t even know they existed, but since they did, I’m fully entitled to be disgusted at the way the female children are being reared–no education, no independence, no life except housework and child care as they wait for their father to choose their mates.</p>
<p>If they have “no education” they sure seem to be poised and well spoken–much better than most their age. They are thoughtful and public spirited putting themselves gladly into helping others rather than worrying about getting into Investment Banking. One of the oldest girls is now studying nursing. And the idea that Dad will choose mates is also fatuous. People just can’t abide others that take a slightly different path. Maybe you should think of all the things they are not–druggies, criminals, unhappy, angry, unwed mothers, on welfare, sluts, lazy etc etc.</p>
<p>Here’s an update on the specific degrees that the older kids are pursing:
Josh, who is married and expecting his second child (a boy) in June, wants to study law. In order to achieve his goal, he is first working on his bachelor’s in Political Science. Jill (age 19) has a heart for nursing and is taking a combination of online courses and on-site classes at a local university. Jessa (age 18) is on her way to earning a Business degree through CollegePlus, and Jinger (age 17) is pursuing a BA in Music.</p>
<p>Miami-
I have to wonder if people thought the Sandusky family was “happy and content”…</p>
<p>And no, before anyone gets all huffy, I am not comparing Duggar to Sandusky. The point is that we do not really know what is going on in any family, whether it is a family in the public eye or not. </p>
<p>As many others have said, this particular family has chosen to thrust themselves into the public eye. Accordingly people see it and may opine about it. It has nothing to do with being “nosey” or jealous. Thats ridiculous.</p>
<p>Collegeplus allows the girls to remain at home and under the control of Jim Bob. They stay at home so they can continue to do the cooking, cleaning, teaching, laundry, and everything else for the family. </p>
<p>The children appear to be wonderful----caring, polite, loving, well spoken. My opinion still stands that the daughters have been taught by Jim Bob and their Quiverfull religion that their main purpose in life is to birth as many children as possible and serve their husbands. I feel that the parents justify the household responsibilities they put on their daughters as a means to teach them their place or role in this lifestyle. If the girls freely choose to continue with this lifestyle, that’s fine. But, if they are forced into this lifestyle and fear doing what they really want to do because it goes against the teachings of Michelle and Jim Bob, I feel bad for them.</p>
I don’t know these people, and had never heard of them before today - I most certainly don’t envy them!!! But I have an opinion about what is good and what is bad. And I think that raising daughters to believe that their purpose in life is “to birth as many babies as possible and serve their man” is wrong. I don’t give a rat’s pattotie if the “value system” of this family has enabled them to have a “pretty lavish lifestyle.” The polygamous sects of southern Utah have attained a comfortable lifestyle by dubbing wives 2 through n as “unwed mothers” and collecting welfare for them. I think that’s wrong as well, even though it may not be “criminal” or “documented abuse.” There’s a lot of room short of “criminal” for “wrong.”</p>
<p>I think that a “family value system” which teaches children - male or female - that their proper role in their adult life is to be subservient to another person chosen to be their master by their parents is wrong. MiamiDAP may choose to believe that the only reason a person would feel that way would be “envy” but that proposition is so grotesque that the only reason I can imagine that someone would believe that would be by projecting their own emotions on others.</p>
<p>Regardless of the number of children they have, this is very sad. I had three late-term stillbirths, further along than Michelle and it is very difficult, both emotionally and physically. They are allowing her to go into labor naturally and it is likely to be much longer and more painful than a full-term birth.</p>