<p>Over the years, I’ve seen some pretty unbelievable resumes from high schoolers. Then, of course, there have been the ultra-high profile USA Today Academic All-Stars. You parents probably know some kids like this, or maybe even have one as a son or daughter.</p>
<p>Here’s my question: What do these top students, who have so many accolades and demands on their time, do in their “free” time? Do they appear to be “normal” teenagers, or are they always doing something “pertinent” or “important”? IOW, what’s a typical day or week like in the lives of these powerful young people during the school year and over the summer?</p>
<p>The kid in my D’s class most likely to get into Harvard is always doing intense leadership stuff during the year; the parents insist the kid not do anything stressful over the summer, though. I don’t think it will hurt.</p>
<p>I don’t have any in my house either. Both of my kids are fairly normal, except they dance 10-15 hours a week. They go to ballet summer intensives, but no academic camps during school breaks, and no tutoring for them either. Because of ballet, they don’t have much down time to hang out with friends. At the same time, most of their friends are fairly busy also with sports and various other ECs. They do not hang out after school, only on weekend evenings. My kids’ schedule is fairly normal relative to their friends, which is a lot busier than when I was their age.</p>
<p>Well, in my own experience, it’s quite easy to let your social life slip away in the midst of a person’s growing interests and responsibilities, but I’ve found that I have to make an active, conscious effort at a social life. A lot of major news outlets like to stress the mounting pressures and expectations of today’s teens, and while that may be true to a large extent, I’ve found that even the most devoted and talented students know when to step back and make an effort to relax. So many of my friends can be put into this category, that a lot of these ‘responsibilities’ turn into something social; I mean, isn’t that half the fun of being in a club?</p>
<p>I see a lot of people like that around me, coming from a competitive private school. The busiest kids are not available to hang out on a daily basis, but do seem to get their rests 1) on some weekends 2) right after midterms/finals/SAT’s/AP’s or a hell week. But when they are busy, they live an intense, and by that I mean intense, lifestyle that requires precise time management, extreme organization and concentration, and ability to sleep less than 4 or 5 hours.</p>
<p>at the risk of sounding arrogant, i will say that the “top students” are “top” because they can get things done faster than the “average” student. i was kind of known in high school for being that girl who is really smart but you’d never know it if you saw her, because i was never one of the kids who spent hours at the library getting work done or pulling an all-nighter studying for tests. i usually spent my frees at school hanging out with friends, captained 2 varsity sports, and went out with friends on the weekend. i was just lucky enough to be able to get my work done for 5 AP classes in a completely reasonable time frame. i ended up getting into 4 top 10 schools. again, i hope i don’t come off as insolent; but i really think what has made me successful is just time management/ efficiency - and thus, i was able to have a completely normal social life. now let’s see how far that takes me in college… :)</p>
<p>My son is a strong student and a committed athlete. He’ll be a freshman at college in the fall. His life for the last few years has been all about time management. He would get up, go to an early morning practice for his sport, then go to classes at the high school until lunch, eat a sandwich as he walked over to the local university for classes there in the afternoon, immediately after that he was on the road to practice with his team 20 miles from here. He’d come back in time for dinner, eat, watch Jeopardy and a re-run of the Simpsons, then it was homework until he fell asleep. Weekends, when we wasn’t away at a competition, had a little more air in them and he would use that time to sleep more and work on papers that needed writing, extending reading that needed to get done, etc. Sometimes watch a movie on DVD.</p>
<p>He had virtually no social life, except that the kids on his sports team were/are really his best friends so he saw them 5 days a week at practice, and they could have a few minutes of visiting time immediately before and after.</p>
<p>It seems like a pretty crazy life to me, but he was doing things he really wanted to be doing and trying to fit it all into a 24 hour day.</p>
<p>This summer he trains and he works at his summer job. He does have a little more time to hang out at home and relax though; plays games a bit on the computer, watches DVDs, reads the paper, just lays around and visits with us or plays with the dog. Stuff like that.</p>
<p>The kids in my S’s class (val and sal) who got into HYP have a fair number of activities (music, sports, one was in student gov) and are very, very grade-oriented, but they in no way resemble those driven uber-teens of legend. (I know these kids well.) Last year’s Val, who went to Stanford, had less in the way of ECs but more in the way of academic accomplishments and interests (lab research). The rest of the kids in S’s class who are going to Brown, Penn, Dartmouth, Cornell and the like are also involved in ECs but none are wildly driven kids existing on 4 hours of sleep a night, as far as I know.</p>
<p>hellow-you don’t sound arrogant at all. My older daughter’s strength is also time management. She always gets in minimum 8 hours of sleep. If you could learn time management early on, you will go far with it. My kids’ school actually teaches time management 5-6th grade.</p>
<p>Our local HS is super competitive. Almost everyone in the AP track is super busy with academics/athletics/other ECs.
The hours spent in practice for sports, band, speech teams is staggering! Your social life is found with your team mates because you have no other time. D2 is one of the only ones working this summer…she only gets 12-15 hours per week so not an enormous amount. She craves down time so she can read for pleasure or get extra sleep.</p>
<p>at my school, at least, i am considered a “top” student. 4.0 in IB, valedictorian, 36 ACT, 1570 /1600 SAT, editor-in-chief of 3 school publications for several years, play two varsity sports, heavily involved in journalism, steady job on the weekends and during summers, etc.
What is my life like? Stressful, for sure. There are some weeks during the school year when I live on 4 hours of sleep a night; other weeks I get 6 or 7. But, the thing is - this overachieving lifestyle is not confined to academics and ECs. My entire life is chaotic and busy, only because I choose to live it that way.
I typically party every weekend, and therefore find myself sleeping even LESS on weekends and summers than during the year. I’m not sure if it is typical, or healthy, of top students to party to the extent that I do, but it is the majority of my social life.
And I have the ability to live for lengths of time with very little “relaxation”; that is, I can go from school to sports practice to yearbook meetings to dinner & a movie with friends to doing other random work for my ECS to sleep to waking up early to do all my IB work. I would imagine many other high achievers are this same way - driven socially as well as academically.</p>
<p>And I have a caffeine addiction, of course.</p>
<p>Edit: one important thing I forgot to mention is that due to my busy schedule I spend very little time with my family. I typically am not home during dinner time and my schedule overlaps very little with my mother’s.</p>
<p>Dave, I don’t really know how to calculate “top” so …IF D is one of them, I’d say that in high school she was not really that “normal”. She had very little time between year-round basketball, leadership in the marching band and orchestra, volunteering and her coursework. What time she had was spent doing as close to nothing as she could do. Many times I felt I should put a mirror under her nose. Sleep. Jaccuzzi. Read. Spend hang-out time with a close friend or three. She didn’t date, didn’t go to high school private parties or the pool but she rode her horse, spent the night with friends, went to movies, took care of her “herd”, did her chores, loved travel (and we went to some great places). </p>
<p>Now, she did always get her sleep, even during the toughest times. </p>
<p>I don’t know how unusual her lifestyle was, several on CC seem to have the same experience. </p>
<p>She dates in college, goes to a great number of parties and stays up much later but the candle is burning at both ends. Volunteering, shadowing, sorority, research, intramurals, Ultimate, coursework, plus she house-sits for prof’s and is a paid note-taker for “challenged” students. When she’s home for the short breaks she just completely veg’s out. It’s like she’s “on base” or “safe” and can’t be tagged. LOL. </p>
<p>I’ve fought with her whole life - “balanced life”, “slow down”, “where do you think those books will get you? Pick up that ball and go shoot. ;)”. She’s just plain “wired funny”. </p>
<p>So- IF she is one of them then the answer is “No. Not exactly.”.</p>
<p>I’ll admit, I had to forgo many a fun time with friends because there was some school-related endeavor conflicting with it. But while many times I had to study for a test or go to a club meeting or prepare for a competition, I still did find time to do something that’s not demanding and that I enjoy–reading, writing, learning languages (natural, programming, constructed), studying linguistics, etc. None of that was ‘required’ of me (but funnily enough, I ended up mentioning it on my applications anyway). And of course, I’d make time for my friends, too, though that happened less frequently junior year. That year was complete hell. Senior year was much lighter–once application season passed, there are more opportunity for leisure and fewer demands on my time.</p>
<p>I believe my D could be in the top category though it is relative. She was the class valedictorian, class president, captain of the track team, involved in community organizations (president of one of them), took 10 AP classes (got all 5s). She is a talented piano player and that was her stress release till senior year. During her senior year, between the school work, college applications, planning senior ball & senior picnic she didnt have much time to socialize with her friends that much. She could do multi tasking (I am sure young generations is good at that) to the extent that it drives you nuts just watching it. She did also work three times a week in the evenings. I would say she only slept 4-5 hours at night during the senior year. She attended all the dances at school. </p>
<p>However, she was very poor in time management. All her college applications were done at the last minute ( I mean 11:55 pm).
During summers she took online community college classes as we were travelling on and off most of the summer.<br>
As far as I can tell she thoroughly enjoyed her years at high. She even went to Europe during her senior year.
To me she is an amazing child.</p>
<p>my s is NOT one of those kids but he did VERY well in high school, captained a varsity sport and was and Eagle Scout. Through all of this, he made hanging out with his friends a top priority. No studying on Friday or Saturday nights. I was also amazed that he was committed to sleeping late on weekends to catch up on precious lost sleep during the week. Like mentioned here before, he’s one of one of those kids who gets through his work quickly and efficiently. This is still working for him in college.<br>
Sometimes, I look at him and think he’s lazy (sleeping late, just hanging around the house) but then I look at everything he’s done and I realize I’m crazy. I actually think it’s a GOOD thing to learn how to ensure “down” time for yourself and friends. Balance in life is healthy.</p>
<p>My D. was top of her HS class, although she did not get very top scores (her ACT was only 33 - she studied very little and took it only once). She also had a lot of ECs. I believe that her huge advantage is willingness to work very hard at subjects that were not easy or not interesting for her. Yes, she did not spend much time on Spanish, math, chemistry…, but she had to spend anormous amount on History which has always been hard for her. That desire to get it no matter how hard is distinquishing these top students in my opinion. She never had time to watch TV. She was heavily in sport, piano and some art. She is very outgoing, social person with tons of friends, who is never at home unless she absolutely has to be. She quickly made a lot of friends at college, even before she joined sorority and had no problem with her roomate (also valedictorian). She continue volunteering (summer and at school), will be working when back to school, and decided that will not have time for sport anymore. She is pre-med with minor in music composition.</p>
<p>Call me crazy, but I’m a mother that actively limits my kids’ activities. </p>
<p>They leave the house at 7:00, school dismisses at 2:30, and practice ends at 5:00. Mix in 3 evenings for other out-of-school ECs, then a game and/or work and/or volunteering on the weekend. I think that’s PLENTY on top of an AP course load and homework.</p>
<p>If a week goes by without down time, I start looking for things to re-arrange in the coming week so they have a chance to rest. </p>
<p>I’ve seen a kid crash and burn. It ain’t pretty.<br>
Sadly, I’ve also seen a superstar implode violently. A parent’s worse nightmare. </p>
<p>I agree with the posters who advocate balance. In our house we value that more than notching up our college chances.</p>
<p>ETA: I just realized I didn’t directly answer the question. My kids have social lives. Parties, dates, movies, RockBand, etc. They’re either hosting or attending SOMETHING every Friday and Saturday night. They sleep late when schedules allow and typically read for pleasure all the time. They make a point to see Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert. Typical above-averages. Probably under-achievers by CC standards.</p>
<p>My D is probably what you’d call a “top student.” She was a superb student in hs, achieved a fair amount in terms of ECs, leadership and volunteering AND she had quite a social life - a BF for the past two years, attended proms ALL four years of hs, basically started studying at around 10 pm most nights. The result was NO SLEEP. She could never bring herself to give up fun or give up achievement so she compromised by giving up sleep.</p>
<p>I’ve told her she won’t get away with this forever. It catches up with you.</p>
Sleep. Jaccuzzi. Read. Spend hang-out time with a close friend or three. She didn’t date, didn’t go to high school private parties or the pool but she rode her horse, spent the night with friends, went to movies, took care of her “herd”, did her chores, loved travel (and we went to some great places). </p>