<p>This is beyond punishment. It is saying that it is OK to treat people like animals or even worse. Nice lesson for a 15-years old! I would not allow my child to be any close to this kid after treatment like this one. How he can continue respecting any human being if he was not treated like one?</p>
<p>scansmom; I understand what you are saying, but I wasn’t trying to compare the two. My point is that words/thoughts that use definitive meanings such as “ALWAYS, NEVER, ONLY, DEFINITELY WILL/WON’T, etc…” is wrong when applied to individuals and personalities. When it comes to raising children, having relationships, working with/for others, supervising others, etc… there is NEVER ONLY 1 WAY THAT IS RIGHT! That is the only definitive when it comes to people. What you might think is wrong when disciplining 1 child, may be the perfect method for another child. If I have 2 children that are perfect 4.0 gpa students; graduated with honors; accepted to every college they applied to; graduated college and are happy with their 6 figure incomes and their wife/husband/children; does that mean I was the perfect parent? Does it mean that my method is the right one? What if my method included spanking when they were little? The point is, no one here would want me telling them how to raise their kid. Why are so many so eager to tell this parent how to raise their child. Especially when they definitely don’t know all the facts. </p>
<p>I hope that when my children are done with their education that they have the tools needed to be successful. That they are happy. That they are confident. I’m sure that some of my discipline actions in their lives, some here would disagree with. Some, I might even do differently if I had it to do again. But the thing is; children don’t come with an owner’s manual. It’s also not our responsibility to tell another person how to raise their kids. Parents should know that they have resources available if they need help, but the meddling outsider who forces their opinion without being asked should go away. To adopt a child takes an act of congress; yet because of a “Woman’s Choice”, an 18 year old can have sex any time she wants and have all the babies she wants. And being it’s her choice, as a society we are condoning her raising that child. All I can say is while my methods of raising children probably isn’t perfect, I had to raise each child differently. One child reacted differently to one discipline than the other. Each child is different. But; both graduated high school. Both are in college. Both have excellent grades. Neither got knocked up or got someone else pregnant. Neither is using drugs. And both are good outgoing and funny. Many might not agree with all of my methods, but I’m satisfied with the results, so that is all that matters to me. Realize that this student in the article is NOT our child. we have NO IDEA what is the best form of discipline for him. We should have no opinion on whether this discipline is right or wrong. It’s not our kid and WE DON’T KNOW BETTER.</p>
<p>I am sorry to disagree and insist that the first thing that we have to teach our children is to treat other human beings in humane way. The treatment of kid in question does not fall under this category. Can you hear the screams about “human rights” if we treat serial killers and terrorists like this? I, myself would definately support the last because I do not consider them human beings, but not treating 15 years old child, who is taught only one lesson which is total disrespect.</p>
<p>You’re ASSUMING that the only lesson they are taught is “Total Disrespect”. You don’t know that. That, is my point. For you to automatically assume that the student standing in public with a sign saying what his grades are is totally negative, is wrong. You don’t know this student. You don’t know the parents. You don’t know their past. You don’t how things were dealt with in the past. You don’t know anything about this situation other than what an article says. An article that could totally be slanted. Because we ALL know how honest and straight forward our news and media are. That is my point. If you know ALL the answers; and you know ALL of this family’s past and relationship; then maybe yo have a legitimate position in offering an opinion in how to raise this child.</p>
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<p>They did not have to do this. It was their choice. It’s a lot easier to humiliate a child than to do the hard work of figuring out what is going on and admiting that what you’ve been doing as a parent is not working. </p>
<p>I’m disgusted by these parents. To put it mildly.</p>
<p>With all respect, my point is that all the points that you mentioned are irrelevent. The child is a human being who is not convicted hard core criminal / serial killer (he would be in prison, so we know that he is not, and it is enough to know just this one fact) and so forth and deserve to be treated as a human being.</p>
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<p>Hear, hear! (And imagine how screwed up the kid’s psyche would be if it WAS a long-term deterrent.)</p>
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<p>There may not be only one way that is right but there are ways that are always wrong. I will not hit my partner. I will never humilitate my child, in private or public. </p>
<p>I don’t care if my kid winds up with a 4.0 and is a nice person at the end of that. And the reason I feel so comfortable saying that is because of another saying I like, “The ends does not justify the means.”</p>
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<p>There is absolutely no way to know if your child got pregnant/got someone else pregnant. Drug users are often successful for years at hiding their addiction before anyone else finds out.</p>
<p>My point is not that your child is doing these things. My point is that one thing that has not changed from my days decades ago in Catholic high school is parents firm conviction that their child “never” when, in fact, many of us did. </p>
<p>In anycase, I do not consider an out of wedlock pregnant to be proof of failure as a parent. Nor do i consider drug use proof of a parents failure. I know many good parents whose children have gotten into all kinds of difficult situations. They love and support each other and do the best they can; that is my definition of success as a parent.</p>
<p>But again, we DON’T know all the details. Therefor, we DON’T KNOW if this was some psyche altering condition. We DON’T KNOW if this will have ONLY negative results or if it could have POSITIVE results. But then again, there are some parents that believe that spanking is NEVER an acceptable form of punishment. As such, all parents will never come to any type of compromise or understanding. There are some psychologists and doctors who believe that there is a time and place for “spanking”. There are some that believe there is never a time or place. So, what makes either position better or right. I personally believe that each person is different. Each parent and each child is different. Each relationship between the two are UNIQUE. As such, saying something is definitely good or definitely bad is DEFINITELY WRONG. The action/reaction is wrong when the behavior at the time; future behavior; and a clear understanding by both parties of expectations are not corrected and acceptable by both parties. Then, and only then, do the actions/reactions need to be re-evaluated and adjusted accordingly.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, I know a parent who used this same method with a teenager. It’s public humiliation, and in this parent’s case, it was consistent with a pattern of emotional abuse. Sad.</p>
<p>Maybe I’m fortunate. But my children have told me everything. They told me when they had sex the first time. We talked about it. We respect each other’s opinions and positions. So it is possible to know what your children are doing.</p>
<p>No excuse for it and it shouldn’t be done, even if it works. The end would not justify the means. This is not tough parenting in my book - it is either lazy parenting, stupid parenting or mean parenting.</p>
<p>The American Academy of Pediatrics advises against all spanking. That is based on decades of research. </p>
<p>You are advocating ignoring accumulated knowledge in favor of letting parents treat their children like cattle with no rights of their owns. In fact, worse than cattle. </p>
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<p>Fine. Go into work tomorrow and punch your boss in the face. When your spouse disagrees with you, throw a glass of water in their face. If you are so sure that there are nothing that can be deemed “wrong” in human relations, well, enjoy prison as that’s where you are headed. And not a moment too soon, in my opinion.</p>
<p>If this father is a pastor, doesn’t it make you wonder what kind of sermons he’s preaching in his church?</p>
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<p>Let me break this down for you…if your child has not told you something, you would not know that they have not told you. Try to ponder that for a moment before again insisting that your child reports every move they make, including their sex lives, to you.</p>
<p>And that they have told you some sensitive information, that they respect your opinion, has nothing to do with it.</p>
<p>Not only is it patently ridiculous to think that you could completely know another person unless you are with them 24/7 for their entire lives, it’s not healthy for parents to want to know their child’s entirely sexual history. Boundaries exist for a reason. I suspect your children know that, even if you refuse too.</p>
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<p>Oy! </p>
<p>The more I think about it, the more I think this person might be a child posing as an adult.</p>
<p>Sounds like the young man was taking his punishment with a large dollop of humor. Doesn’t sound like he’s going to be harmed for life.</p>
<p>He did get an A in PE!</p>
<p>Some people use Hello Kitty as a punishment. Now THAT is serious.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/08/world/asia/08thai.html?_r=1&ref=world[/url]”>http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/08/world/asia/08thai.html?_r=1&ref=world</a></p>
<p>Okay, I’m a parent of a S who I WISH I could put on a street corner like that!!! </p>
<p>His grades right now? French - A, Engl AP - A, AVID (a college/study prep program) - C, US Hist - C-. He chooses where he wants to excel. Math is probably the only subject where he had to study. Because the school’s on a block schedule, he doesn’t have math - he had Stats AP last term and scored the highest on the final. I realize that he may be bored (he’s “gifted” and in our district’s gifted program since 2nd grade.) but he is also immature. I just know that once he grows up, he’ll really take off and succeed but when is that going to happen? My husband and I have advanced degrees and are successful in our chosen careers. Our D, a freshman, struggles through certain subjects and had straight A’s in her first two terms. Her work ethic is admirable. And she lived in her brother’s shadow for years until she reached jr. high. That’s when she “realized” that she was “smart.”</p>
<p>How can two totally different people come from the same home? (I’m being facetious, my background is psych.) I don’t condone public humiliation and have always tried to help my children develop self-confidence. I know no one has the perfect solution. I just needed to vent.</p>
<p>Vent away, lilmom. You’ll find that many of us here are in/have been in your position. </p>
<p>Wouldn’t it be great if we did get slipped a note that told us when our kids would mature and “really take off?”</p>