<p>I just stumbled across this thread. I wish I had found it earlier. Perhaps I could have had something useful to say to the young person in question.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, I have had a belly full of experience with child abuse. In fact, I’ve had so much experience that I absolutely hate the word “abuse,” because it masks the real words we should be using like “rape,” “torture,” and “emotional stripping.” One can abuse a machine by not changing the oil often enough. “Abuse” is a milquetoast word fighting a bully of a problem.</p>
<p>I did my post-grad clinical work with both children and adults who were the victims of rape, torture, and emotional stripping. I was drawn to the field, at the time, by my own, personal experience with broken bones, second degree burns, purple-scarred buttocks, fat lips, capped teeth, torn orifices, internal bleeding, ruptured organs, and concussions … all caused, of course, by accidents (my, what a clumsy child I must have been).</p>
<p>If I sound bitter about all this, it’s because I am. I always will be. It’s the nature of the beast.</p>
<p>First off, for all of you who feel that child beating is “unusual” or “not normal,” all I can say is, “Get a clue!” There are still many, many places in America where, on a fine summer’s day, one can hear the screams of children in their open-windowed dwellings rising and falling to the rhythm of a belt, or switch, or cane, or clothes hanger, or lamp cord, or yardstick, or club, hairbrush, or anything else an angry parent can get his or her (and yes, there are a LOT of hers) on. And no one raises a finger to help those children. No one even thinks about it. After all, we must not spare the rod and spoil the child, n’est pas? It’s a family matter. Right? In many places, welts and bruises on a child win the parents praise for being “strict.” Those parents often win further praise because their cowering offspring, some of whom cannot even bring themselves to raise their eyes from the ground or floor, are “so polite and respectful of their elders.”</p>
<p>I had one patient whose mother used to fellate him while making him stand in the toilet in his own feces. When she was done, she’d scream “look at what you made me do!” to him and punch him in the gut until he threw up. Then, he’d have to wipe off his feet, flush the toilet, and clean up the vomit. He was three years old.</p>
<p>I once tried to begin a foundation to educate the public on the harm “spanking” (a very nice term for beating) can do to people for the rest of their lives. I wasn’t very successful. Perhaps I started too early or perhaps I am just not a good enough fund raiser, but I failed. I wish some of you who have expressed concern were there to help me.</p>
<p>Enough of that. I just wanted everyone who posted here to know that it’s not a whitebread world out there. I will guarantee you that some of your neighbors, even people you think you know well, are mistreating their children. Statistically, that’s a near certainty. </p>
<p>I appreciate those who posted here trying to help this young person. I urge you, if you’ve a mind, to find a way to help others. Believe me when I tell you, those others are all around you.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>