<p>“ONE LAST TIP (from experience): You may have some deep psychological issues with the abuse (not “psycho” stuff, but just guilt, fear, etc…I speak from experience). Talk to counselors, learn how to GENUINELY ignore your parents, get good friends, and live a healthy lifestyle. Don’t feel pressured to study all day. Learn to do what you love. Value your time. Find SOME good in your parents’ lives, but DO NOT feel guilty. Exercise. Find ways to do what you want to do.”</p>
<p>This post–this whole thread–is making me cry. It’s so difficult to be the child of abusive Asian parents. There are so many reasons why it’s so hard to get out of it with a healthy perspective on life:
- It’s impossible to tell people about your family problems. People are tired of hearing teenagers whine about their parents, so they tend to think you’re exaggerating or just being another angsty, spoiled teenager, when really you might have legitimate problems.
- Asian parents are extremely concerned about their children’s futures. They educate them well and try extremely hard to make them successful. So when an Asian child complains, they are viewed as spoiled (especially if the child complains to the parents, who really do spend lots of money and time on the child. Unfortunately, this is exploitative: the child is not allowed to complain and must bear abuse, or he/she will be called ungrateful and will be punished.
- Not all Asian parents are abusive or excessively strict. So when the kids of the truly abusive Asian parents complain, they are not taken seriously–others just think your parents are the stereotypically strict Asian parents. They don’t understand that some Asian parents are more than the stereotype: they are truly abusive.
- Some parents (not just Asians of course) practice emotional/verbal/mental abuse. This is intense name-calling, threats, physical threats, throwing things and spanking (not enough to cause injury but enough to scare the child) making the child cry and feel hurt as a punishment, etc. People have a hard time understanding that this kind of abuse is just as scarring and difficult to bear as full-out physical abuse. Over time it causes the child to lose confidence, to become awkward in social situations, and to have trouble forming relationships with other people.</p>
<p>Just wanted to clear up some issues that I feel are really hurting kids.</p>