<p>Duckie, is there anyone at all who your mother respects or would listen to if he talked to her about her anger and behavior? Someone who might convincingly explain that her tirades are likely to have the opposite effect on you and probably prevent you from achieving your goals due to the stress she is creating? I’m thinking of a priest/minister/spiritual advisor, an elder relative, or maybe a close friend whose own children have met your mother’s idea of success? If there is no one besides your father, at least be sure to inform him of each and every event and ask him to intervene. Ask your father point blank if your parent’s funding of your college education depends on you being accepted into her list of schools. Also ask what ideas he has for coping with the situation, other than calling the police or CPS. Is there a close friend or relative with whom you could live until you leave for college? I’ve known quite a few people who spent their last year or two of high school living with friends or relatives instead of their parents. </p>
<p>While I respect curmudgeon’s advice, I don’t completely agree with his assumption that your mother will actually act on her threats about the knife. At least I truly hope she’s not that far gone. But none of us can know for sure. If you ever suspect that she might indeed act on her threats, then get out fast & call the police. Let her deal with the consequences. People have and still do work their way through college, and you can find a way to achieve your goals without parental help if that’s the way things work out.</p>
<p>Just so you know, I’m a mom of two college students. I’m also the daughter of a woman who wished I’d never been born and told me so repeatedly. In her rages she cracked the dashboard of her car by pounding her fist, she left bloody welts on my thighs from beating me with the buckle end of my father’s belts, and she hit me across the face with her shoes. </p>
<p>The physical abuse stopped when I finally pushed her away & she fell on her rear while attempting to once again slap my face with her shoe. At least I learned a lesson about bullies. My response to the continued verbal abuse was to leave high school after 11th grade & attend a university as far away as I was permitted to go (a full day’s drive) when I was 16. From that point on, I spent as little time as possible around her, but I maintained a cordial relationship, just to be able to see my father. When I had children, I let them have a relationship with my parents, but did not trust her alone with my kids. They loved their grandfather, but have no feelings for her. She has only been interested in being able to brag about their accomplishments & never cared about them as people. Once my dad died, I expressed my sympathy. Since then, I have not had any contact with her (that’s her preference.) You know what? It’s her loss. </p>
<p>Your mother may very well be certifiable - I’m not qualified to say. It’s possible that no amount of talking by anyone will change her behavior. Then all you can do is get out and take care of yourself. I hope that your father has enough backbone to look out for his child and do the right thing no matter what your mother says. He can’t act if he doesn’t know your side of the story, though. If you’re unable to talk with your dad alone after one of your mom’s rages, then write down what happened. Document each incident and give your dad a copy. Keep in mind that some parents like this will lie about their child’s efforts at self-defense. She may claim that you struck her or attacked her, and it was unprovoked. My father didn’t know the truth until years after I moved out, and it broke his heart to realize that he’d failed to protect me. </p>
<p>I wish you all the best.</p>