<p>Not to trivialize what the OP’s mother is doing as not abuse, but I (as a Chinese-American) sadly enough do not find her actions that atypical at all. She’s more extreme than most Asian immigrant parents that I know, but the verbal/emotional abuse isn’t uncommon. Of course, there are Asian parents who are kind and loving, but it’s more of a minority, in my opinion. And yes, in an Asian country, her behavior would be pretty normal and accepted.</p>
<p>Even though I know many of the parents will disagree with me, I also don’t recommend that the OP call CPS. You’re almost in college; you’ll be mostly free soon. Live on campus, be sure to look for a summer internship early so you don’t have to go home. Make friends and go to their houses for breaks. Do well and become independent after college. Most likely your mother’s tirades will get fainter and fainter as you get older, though they probably won’t all die out. You’ve already learned how to ignore her, so that’s good. Find some really good friends to support you emotionally, since you can’t get it from your parents. Hopefully, in time, you’ll forgive your mom for behaving the way she did because that’s probably how her parents (and the parents of everyone she knew) behaved, and forgive your father for not standing up for you enough. Of course, you’re never going to be good enough for them, so kind of be prepared for that. </p>
<p>As for those of you who claim that us emotionally scarred 2nd generation Chinese-American kids will continue the parenting of our parents, I disagree with that. Just being exposed to American culture as opposed to the traditional Asian one already makes us much different from our parents. In fact, most 3rd generation Asian-American kids I know are basically American, and their parents are much more laid back like the typical middle class American parents that I see.</p>