In any event, Cornell is unlikely for a transfer with the OP’s 3.21 GPA.
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No worries, I understand where you’re coming from and there definitely is a little bit of a fear for me that the social environment may be similar. But I’ve done a lot of contemplating and I still think trying in a different place is worthwhile, if only for a fresh start; there’s nothing really left here for me socially at Grinnell, so I can at least try to pick up some crumbs at another institution, especially one that has a high concentration of associate degree transfers and other kinds of non-trad students. I’m basing my decision to transfer off of the fact that thinking about going to back to Grinnell puts me in a semi-hysterical state. I just cannot survive 2 more years of temporal unavailability and rumors from things that I never did. Especially after having already gone through PEA and a preparatory preparation program before that in middle school.
I haven’t heard of ESF or Earlham! While I’m weary of similarly small schools, I think it’s worth reaching out to transfer students at those schools to see what their own experiences have been attempting to find community in these places. It’s also worth nothing that I’m very good at interviews (both Exeter and Grinnell accepted me primarily because of my interview and SSAT/SAT score respectively), so if given the opportunity I’m more then happy to explain the rigor and workload at Grinnell as well as the reasoning behind why I don’t think the institution is a right fit for me (as well as why I think their institutions have remedies or systems in place to help mitigate the kind of situations I’ve been in before)
Thanks for all the great advice so far everyone!! I knew I should have posted this sooner lol, and all of this is very good food for thought and I’ll ponder on it as the responses keep coming. I’m very much appreciative that you alls are taking time out of your days to give advice to lil ol’ me, especially because I can be a bit of a yapper at times haha.
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Syracuse itself was already mentioned as being worth a look, and I agree with this also. It may be a little more rah-rah sports-and-Greek-life than you prefer, but not everyone is into that aspect. There’s a pretty robust neurodiverse community https://disabilityinclusioncenter.syr.edu/projects/neurodiversity-su/ and many of the associated resources would be accessible from ESF too. ESF itself is slightly bigger than Grinnell, and SU has almost 16K undergrads. Syracuse is need-aware for transfers and does not guarantee to meet full need, but they meet a high percentage of need across the student population so it isn’t out of the question that it could work. Hard to say from what we know so far, whether SU or ESF would be the better option cost-wise.
Just out of curiosity, how was Phillips Exeter for you socially? You’re different from most college students in that your college wasn’t your first rodeo in terms of going away to school… so, the “you’d have the same problems anywhere” argument doesn’t really hold water if you didn’t have the same problems at PEA.
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I agree that the proximity of ESF TO Syracuse University is a positive. ESF is literally across the street from the ESF campus and ESF students have cross registration privileges at SU and can use their facilities and cafeterias. The 2 schools have a close partnership. In many ways, ESF is integrated into the life of the greater Syracuse University community. To be clear, ESF students live in ESF housing and do not have the option to live in SU dorms. Off campus housing of course is up to individual arrangements.
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I wouldn’t say in interview you want to transfer due to the rigor because that would imply you consider them less rigorous.
You can articulate it as a personal dit thing, which would make total sense for a college like Grinnell- “coming from Philip Exeter I wanted a more diverse environment and realized during Sophomore year, after trying everything, that Grinnell wasn’t the change I needed” or “the major at Z College fits my need better, especially research with Pr.Y, I reached out and …” (I’m sure you can formulate it in such a way it’s complimentary to the college you’re transferring to as well as not dismissive of Grinnell).
But there’s nothing wrong in saying the environment didn’t work for you/too small/too isolated if the other college doesn’t mainly share the same characteristics.
SUNY ESF is a great idea. Reach out to professors wrt research.
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As I’d understood it, this social instrument at Grinnell had been directed mostly towards those with insufficiently ideologically correct viewpoints. As the OP describes it, however, its use has broadened in scope.
OP- hugs. I’m sure it takes a lot of energy and bravery to post as you have.
I’m skeptical about some of the very well meaning posts here suggesting either small or rural (or both) environments. To me, your posts scream “CUNY”. At most of them, you will find a range of ages, life circumstances, prior experience, etc. and the “suitcase school” aspect will probably not bother you at all. Yes, living at home will be a drag. But better a few friends- all of whom are in the same boat that you are in- vs. no friends but living in a dorm somewhere with the “illusion” of community which sounds like your current situation. Believe it or not, students at Baruch meet each other for brown bag lunches. Students at Hunter make plans for the weekend. Students at City College attend “Shakespeare in the Park” together, or find a cheap concert series at Little Island. And if you are intent on taking classes through the summer, even if you lose credits (which is likely) you won’t have to stick around for as long as you would at an LAC which may or may not offer a full roster of summer academics.
I also want to suggest a brief reframe for you. You seem stuck on “actualizing” the fantasy that college is the best four years of your life, that the friends you make will be forever relationships, that college will be the basis of every good thing that happens to you down the road.
This is reality for a minority of people. My spouse (first gen college student) worked two or three jobs (bussing tables, washing dishes, that kind of stuff- nothing “prestigious”) to augment the need based aid which was generous but not enough. Two degrees in 4.5 years. I cannot name a single friend from that period. I’m sure there were people that nodded in recognition or shared study notes— but the description of college I’ve heard was “work, study, go to classes, sleep”.
Was it worth it? It provided the educational grounding for a fantastic and interesting and varied career with lots of travel and cool people. It provided the financial grounding for a lifestyle very different from childhood– and helping family members who were struggling. It introduced an academic and intellectual world that was challenging and was the basis of some lifetime interests and hobbies and passions.
Was it four fun-filled years of making life long friends? Heck no. But looking back over the decades– it was a shrewd investment which has paid off many, many times in all sorts of unpredictable ways. And the “I can grind away better than anyone else” ethos is truly a game-changer professionally, no matter what you end up doing. There is still no substitute for hard work and grit in the workplace! And making friends is MUCH easier once you are out of college. It’s a big world and people bond over their love of birdwatching or cycling or woodworking or attending lectures on “Degenerate Art in Nazi Germany” or learning to fix a broken refrigerator.
Hugs. You can do this.
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Wish there were an icon for “1000 %”
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I did have great fun at college, and I did make some forever relationships there, friends that are still as close as we can be given that we live on 4 different continents now (nearly 40 years later, we still talk regularly and catch up in person when we are able). The catch? I went to a commuter school. It’s different, but it doesn’t mean you don’t make friends. I don’t say this to urge OP to go to one, because I do think there is something special about a residential college experience, but it will probably be just fine if you commute too.
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In support of the CUNY suggestion, as much as CUNY colleges are commuter school - and always were designed to be that way, going back to the days when I was a student at Brooklyn College - some have in fact have evolved to now have dorms. Brooklyn College does. Hunter College, where my wife went, does. CCNY, where my niece went, does. I think some others may, so check. Some dorms are on campus, some are a few blocks away, and others are at a distance so you’re a subway commuter from your dorm. There are also 10-12 private dorms scattered around the city, which house students from various colleges under the same roof. So, you don’t necessarily have to live at home while attending a CUNY.
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Tough situation OP.
You need to a college to give you enough money to make it affordable. As a junior, that will be the difficulty for you.
It isn’t likely that all your credits will transfer. Colleges will recalculate your classes to ensure they meet their standards.
The simplest and most affordable choice is to attend CUNY. Go to Hunter, problem solved.
In all honesty, you still seem to be stuck in the high school mindset. You are now 20+ years old, I’m assuming. There is no reason to compare your high school experience to college. High school is over, yet you refer to it multiple times.
I don’t think your issue is Grinnell. I think it’s more likely that reality hasn’t met your expectations. The things you say as negatives are definitely not universal to all Grinnell students.
I think this is more likely the issue. If you are set on not returning to Grinnell, I suggest meeting with a mental health professional and trying to work this out.
Look like you will study abroad for your next semester. Then you don’t want to return to Grinnell. So with the understanding that (most likely) not all of your credits will transfer, and you are just aiming to get your degree done in 18 months after study abroad, it seems like an awful lot of hassle and upheaval to try an immerse yourself in a college in another state far from home, where you are very unlikely to get enough aid. CUNY is affordable.
I think you are very much looking for something which might not exist. Focus on getting your degree. I suggest seeking guidance from a mental health professional so that you can graduate knowing you are moving into a new stage of your life.
Please understand also that college isn’t going to be “the best four years of your life” for everyone. I never made one friend at college. I was a commuter. I had work friends. I still have great friends from after I graduated college. I think it would be helpful to stop comparing your high school experience to your life now and realize that your life is in a new phase. Maybe Grinnell isn’t for you, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t going to have friends and fun and amazing times ahead that will have nothing to do with your teenage self.
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I wonder if there is a college out there that would count the semester abroad as part of the 2 years at the new school? I have no idea, so I’m just asking. If there is, it might open up some options,
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At every college I’m familiar with, students must either get prior approval on classes taken overseas, OR submit a transcript (sometimes with syllabus as backup documentation) before the credits will be accepted. So assuming that the overseas study will “count” as classes taken at the new institution is a risky assumption. Every institution reserves the right to determine if a class meets their own standard for breadth, depth, or rigor.
Yes, I know. I’m reaching in hopes of opening up some more options. Probably a fool’s errand. 
I can’t answer that, but this is virtually unknowable before applying, being accepted, and sometimes enrolling. Some schools are now even charging a fee for the credit transfer process upon enrollment…and I get it from the time involved perspective, it can take months (not joking) and is often painful with their need for excruciating levels of detail.
Big picture, even if a school accepts all of a student’s previous credits, they often aren’t applied to gen eds or major requirements because the transfer school doesn’t have an equivalent course…meaning the student will graduate with more than 120 credit hours, sometimes quite a few more. The definition of ‘equivalent course’ is very narrow by design at many schools, especially private schools.
IMO, OP’s best chance of graduating on time/within 4 years/8 semesters is a CUNY or SUNY, and even at those schools I would not characterize it as a good chance.
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sure,
It is an interesting idea that @Bill_Marsh has though, if the program abroad is an already approved one, that the new college they want this student… it could work in some instances…
Some schools really need more students…we sometimes forget this.
My 25s school has thousands of already approved courses… if NOT on the list it has to be approved in advance..The more prestigious the school, the trickier this all is in general (I have been looking at a LOT of schools’ policies recently due to my kids’ circumstances…)
Not sure of cost, but i like the Ithaca idea above if Blue really doesnt’ want to stay at home - worth reaching out to the Admissions office if they have majors of interest…
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Which other colleges enroll students at your Copenhagen program? (Or is it unique to Grinnell? Note that it may be managed by Grinnell but open to other colleges.)
These colleges would likely have courses already approved that you could include in your transfer evaluation.
Where will you be enrolled in Copenhagen?
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And were you the only one from your class that wound up at Grinnell?
Phillips Exeter was much the same socially for me, unfortunately. The students weren’t quite as deliberately isolating (like I said, there was a sense of camaraderie due to our shared struggles), but I still didn’t get close enough to anyone to really hang out and be with someone on a close level, sans one person during my 10th and 11th grade years who I eventually fell out with because they weren’t comfortable communicating their feelings and I had messed up one too many times. Despite this, I still look back at many of my memories from Exeter fondly, and I think the crux of the problem at the time was my newly diagnosed ND as well as Exeter just being hard as heck. As I’ll elaborate in a bit, I strongly agree with the notion that “this’ll happen anywhere” doesn’t really hold water. This kind of isolating gossip girl culture isn’t really possible at a bigger institution since everyone won’t know everyone else, and schools with a bigger athletic presence seem to have a greater sense of shared identity in the community. At Grinnell, no one really takes on the idea of “being a Grinnellian.” There’s no homecoming, no big school rivalries (I don’t even think we have a sports rival? If we do, I sure don’t know who it is), not a single event that gets more then 600 students in a room at a time…it just feels like no one cares about anything at Grinnell and the contrarianism of “nothing matters except my grade, my mental health and physical well-being be damned” gets really grating really quickly when you’ve already learned from 4 years of rigor that that approach gets you nowhere but a ticket straight to burnout city.
To answer circuit’s question; yes, I was the only one of my class to wind up at Grinnell. At least at the time of my admission, the last exonian to attend Grinnell was Class of ‘21 and two class of ‘20’s before that. It’s not a school that overlaps a lot with the New England prep school kids.
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Thank you. That was helpful.